Wil & Friends Preview 2

People really seemed to love the WIl & Friends previews so here we are without fail another preview update! Let me know if you want to see more of the WIl & Friends bits or more of the Happiness & Homicide previews!

Nick stops in his tracks. „What the fuck are you two supposed to be?!“ „We’re Space Vixons.“ „You’re men! He’s got a beard!“ I glance at Jason. „Who are you to say that space chicks don’t have beards?“ Nick throws his hands up. „I’m not even going to start trying to debate you. Let’s just go.“ „Nick, you drive.“ I throw him my keys. We get in the car and as Nick starts the car I adjust my top. „Hey, Nick, wanna feel my space titty?“ „No! I don’t wanna feel your tit!“ „What the hell are you supposed to be? Constipated? It’s a costume party, Nick. You can’t come as something you usually are.“ Nick turns around and growls at Jason. „I’m supposed to be Benny Hill.“ I look at Jason who shrugs. „It’s hope it doesn’t get too breezy tonight, eh? The slit in this skirt goes up pretty high and I’m not wearing underwear.“ Nick slams on the breaks and we almost get rear-ended. „I’m not wearing any either. I hope I don’t get a rash from this outfit.“ „You guys are unbelievable.“ 

„Check out my space gem.“ Aaron leans down so that he is just about eye level with my navel. „You got your belly button pierced just for the costume?“ „Yeah. That’s an opal. A moonstone.“ „I don’t think opals are moonstones.“ „Are you a geologist now?“ „No.“ „He’s right. It’s a moonstone.“ I gawk at Jason. „How do you know that?“ „Summer camp. Rabbi Bauman showed me.“ „I bet it’s not the only thing he showed you.“ „He’s a rabbi, not a priest.“ He shoots a smirk at Nick who’s cheeks glow red.

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„Where’s my car?“ I stumbled into the room, still in my intergalactic skirt. Nick looks at me. „You mean, you and the other space gal didn’t drive back here?“ „Of course not. We took the tube home.“ „We turned a lot of heads and I pulled three phone numbers.“ Nick looks impressed. „Good for you.“ I scratch my head. „Shit. It still must be at Mike’s house.“ I take the box of Shredded Wheat out of the cabinet. „Don’t you ever eat anything else?“ Jason asks as he slumps into the room. 

„Are we gonna be seeing Aaron on milk cartons now?“ I narrow my eyes at him. „Why the hell would we see him on milk cartons?“ „Well, now that he’s been arrested for rape, he’s officially a rapist and you know they put them on milk cartons.“ „What the fuck are you talking about? They don’t put rapists on milk cartons! That’s missing people!“ I slap him. „And they quit doing that years ago!“ „Ouch. You didn’t have to hit me.“ „And he’s not a rapist. He’s just unlucky.“ 

....

I’m rocking my Veruca Salt t-shirt today. It features Louise Post dressed in a sexy version of the clothes worn by the character Veruca Salt.  „I didn’t know you liked Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.“ Aaron says when he sees me. „It’s a band, you fuck.“ „Well, whoever she is, she’s sexy.“ I sit next to Pastulio, who is drooling on the sofa. „What do you want?“ I ask him as I pick up the remote. „Oh, I wanted to borrow your easel.“ „What for?“ „I’m taking this night class to, you know, better myself.“ „I don’t know how the fuck that’s gonna help, but I guess you can borrow it.“ 

„Is that Nick’s bed?“ He asks when we walk by my room. „It’s Pastulio’s now.“ „Then where the fuck does Nick sleep?“ „The dog bed.“ „Shades of early Hitler.“ „What, my painting?“ „I was referring to your household regime. You’re far more talented than Adolf. Look at the texture in the rope around her neck!“ I stand back to admire my work. „Most people are offended by my creations.“ „What’s there to be offended by? I’m sure there are a lot of people who want to see Kim Kardashian executed.“ I rub my chin. „You’re probably right. You wanna come with us?“ „Us?“ „Pastulio and me.“ I pack up the easel.  „Where are you going?“ „To get a Brazilian.“

....

„What do you know Fidel Castro is on the telly. I thought he was dead.“ „Yeah, I know him too. I gave him my laptop at the Mac store.“ „What?“ Nick looks over at me. „Fidel Castro. That’s the name of the bloke who’s fixing my laptop.“ „I highly doubt the President of the Republic of Cuba is fixing your MacBook Pro.“ „That’s what his name tag said. Fidel C.“ „So you don’t know what his last name is.“ „Well, no. I just assumed it was Castro. Aren’t like all those people related? Its an island after all.“ „Wil, England is an island.“ „Well, I wasn’t born here so it doesn’t count.“  „What?“ „I wasn’t born here.“ „Then where the fuck were you born? Knowing you, you’ll tell me you were hatched from a space egg or something.“ „Clever, but no. I was born in Münster.“ „Germany?“ „Of course Germany!“ I smack him upside the head. „My mother is American and my father is Canadian.“ „Where does Germany come in?“ „Oh, well, my parents were exploring new sexual liberations there.“ Nick’s face falls. „Are you serious?“ „Yeah. There are dozens of photos of them engaging in various acts. I myself was conceived in an act that involved a parrot.“ „I don’t want to know!“ 

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„Whats with the photo?“ Aaron asks as he walks in and sees Nick framing something. „You’re gonna like this one.“ I tell him with a smirk. Nick holds up his handiwork. „Why the hell did you frame a Kurt Russell poster?“ Anger clouds Nick’s face. „It’s not Kurt Russell! It's Jesus.“ I look over. „No, I’m pretty sure its Kurt Russell.“ „Fuck you guys!!“ Aaron looks over at me. „Are you thinking what I’m thinking?“ I unzip my hoodie. „I think I am.“ He stares at my shirt; it features Phil Collin’s face with the text „Phil Saves“. He pulls back. „Way to kill the mood, yo.“ „What?!“ He walks off. „Are we still gonna do rib jobs?“ I call after him. He doesn’t answer me, so I lean back on the sofa. „What’s wrong with my t-shirt?“ I ask Pastulio. He turns his head and stares at me. „That’s what I thought.“ I scratch behind his ears. „Well, let’s retire to my room.“ 

....

„If Lenny Kravitz doesn’t make you horny, then you’re not listening to his music correctly.“ „Jesus, Wil. He’s not Marvin Gaye.“ I snort. „He’s the 2.0 version of Marvin.“ Nick scratches his head. „You-you just might be onto something there.“ I light a cigarette and offer him one. He accepts and I hand him the lighter. „I’m thinking about opening up a club.“ „Like comic-con?“ I shoot him a disgusted look. „No, you lame-ass. Like a strip club.“ „What would you call it?“ I’m thoughtful for a moment. „Box-O-Rama.“ 

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