Daniel's BoBerry Buzz

It's another day, another high-flying adventure! I'm trying a whole bunch of new products from Mass Alternative Care (link below) and I'm just thinking what do you guys think I should try next? Have a suggestion? Tweet me purchase links, websites and suggestions! I'm always open to trying new things. (Duh) Today, I'm trying some berries and cream chews. Each little chew is 5mg each so I'm going to take 3-4 of the little discs and see where that takes me. I'm lucky that I only need roughly 20-30mg of THC to get a high like this. Makes the money go further, you know? I've had higher dosages, but I don't really like the highs at that level. I tend to get what feels like flashes of light inside my skull; that's the only way that I know how to describe it. 

The discs are pale lilac in colour. I just love the colour. There's just something really classy about it. I can't quite describe it. I'm hoping that I get that amazing full-body high. 
As the high hits me I'm sitting in the middle of my bed. My body starts that familiar vibration, throbbing of anticipation. I find my mind wandering down familiar paths; paths of him. I miss the way his eyes would match the colours of autumn as my lips touched his. I want his laughter to echo through me once again. His sweet disposition hidden behind sarcasm and attitude, there's just something about the way he smiles. I love the way he carries himself. He burns brighter than any sun. I want him to wrap me in his arms again and hold me close. I want to hold onto all of his mistranslations and masterpieces he just wants to hideaway. I don't want my thoughts of him to become desperate memories. 


I need a distraction so I don't waste more time thinking about him; so many of my thoughts revolve around him. I'm like a lovesick puppy always chasing my tail wanting him to play with me. Be as playful as I am.
I should watch Hocus Pocus.  Then it hits me. This film came out almost 30 years ago...I'm older than the film by two years. How the fuck did I live this long? Have I really lived this long or have I fallen into a time void?! I start to breathe heavily, the taste of sweet cake clogging my thoughts. I start to panic at how old I am and how old I will eventually be. Time is the enemy. I've wasted so much time painting by numbers that I never stopped to realise that I'm my own artist and I don't need the step by step of someone else. In my defence, at the time I was young and dumb. Now I'm older and wiser, looking forward to a future where I'm the star character and not just a background one. 

After a short nap, I wake up starving. I need to fucking eat something, but I'm not in the mood for cooking anything. Cereal. Perfect food. Almost healthy. Oh fuck that, I don't really care right now. I rip open the top of a bag of Capt. Crunch that I got from the dollar store and empty it into a mixing bowl. I pour in the milk and sit on the floor, my back against the stove munching on the cereal. My mind wanders. Shadows dance across the walls leaving me filled with mystical energies; I feel all of my emotions boiling in my blood. I toss and turn on the bed, wanting to let it all escape. The good, the bad and everything in between. 

...

I'm back in a Chinese restaurant that I used to frequent as a child. I remember when my family and the neighbour family all got together and went out for dinner. 8 kids, 4 adults. It's a warm memory. The dim lights in the restaurant, little candles on the tables. I love how I'm able to float through space and time. I've got an iced tea in a giant Buddha cup. I want to take it home with me but I know there is no way my parents would allow that. It's memories like this I want to capture forever, hold them close in a little glass jar of dreams. I want to feel like this all the time. I know it's unrealistic to spend a life chasing daydreams, but I want to know what could have been.

Once again I find myself caught up in the stormy weather that threatens beyond these little panes of glass. Amazing things they are. They allow light in, keep other elements out. The things people have done. Sometimes it boggles my mind that this is the world that I live in. I roll around on the bed, letting pleasure wash over me and tiny little hailstones collide with the roof. I want to feel the heat on my back as I ride the waves of forbidden pleasure, exploring this new body in new ways. I push myself to new heights, learning new tricks. I slide up and down, feeling every sensation both inside and surrounding my form. 

I daydream of pullovers, campfires, falling leaves and playing hide and seek. I'm drowning in all the things that I want to do. I love the sensation of filling my entire body. I'm light-headed and falling backwards onto the bed. I love the freedom that I feel. I'm dreaming of kisses on cars, not thinking of the scars hidden underneath layers of clothing. I'm moving like light, every muscle in me relaxed as if I'm still in the womb. I daydream of him, his smile vibrating through me, the slight crookedness of his teeth turning me on. He and I are dancing on the tube as we rocket beneath the city. Miles above us are lives of misery while down here we move with endless sensation. Everyone is telling us to settle down, but we're too busy fantasizing about our own dynasty. 

Echoing like bloodstains on light coloured clothes, laughing at jokes that aren't funny. The world spins around me. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not sure that I want to. Balancing on the edges of the world I see it all splash out before me. I can't see the ending. I've spent so much of my life defending things and now I realise that I don't even know what they are. From the tops of the mountains to the base of the sea, I'm now free. 

The high was amazing. It helped me to explore my thoughts and feelings, write when I had writer's block. This has to be one of the best highs that I've had in a long time. Just letting everything out. I don't think I'm going to put this blog in my Dan's High Flying Adventures, I think I will take some of the content of this and put it in my other work, Paper Hearts. It's pure and organic. Something that I want to put in the book. I've decided on cover art for that too, I just need to finish sketching it out. Maybe before I return to work, I can get some more work done on that.  I'm not sure if I'm going to have a release this year, I know I've had one each year for the past 6 years or so, but maybe this will be the year I take a break and start fresh for 2021. We'll see. 

LINKS:

Comments

Popular Posts