I QUIT MY JOB!

Anyone who knows me knows that this one has been a long time coming. Everyone in management was shocked when I told them I was leaving and would be putting in my two weeks notice at the end of the previous week. Honestly, I don't know why any of them were surprised at all. They repeatedly lied to me, promised they'd call me about open shifts to help me boost my hours because I'd been asking since the first week of January, and they never did. I had to hunt down shifts and get them approved by management. It was really a fuck you to my work ethic. They almost seemed annoyed that I was eager to do things, that I wanted hours.  When I was there, I always was trying to get as much done as I could, offered help in other departments-shit, I learned two departments on my own because I wanted to be able to be placed there for extra hours, not just the ones I was already trained in, My initiative, willingness and desire to work was often ignored. I was constantly asking for extra shifts in any department and I got a "Yeah, we'll call you" or "I'll look into it." I never got one phone call, despite the constant asking and me always asking managers to approve me taking the shifts that co-workers DIDN'T WANT. You read that right. They didn't want to come to work and I did, yet I was still told no. What kind of backwards-only in America. It gets better. They were happy to give more hours to people who sit on their phones watching YouTube with their headphones in, jerk-off on the floor and get the absolute bare minimum done-and ones whose work constantly results in the loss of orders because we cannot find the merchandise. Yet, I'm defined hours? 

My hours were capped; I heard by two different managers (ha, there ate 7 at this shithole and none of them talk or coordinate.) that I couldn't go over 26 hours as a part-time associate, which was funny because when I started over the summer I occasionally went over that. (Christmas season is something different in retail.) I happened to mention something to a co-worker about my frustration with it and she asked me what I was talking about. She's a part-time worker and for weeks now she'd gone over 26 hours and it had been okay by management. Fucking excuse me? They bitch that they're short staffed, here I am willing and wanting to come in and work in all the departments, cashiering, everything and they ignore me. It's not that I'm shit at my job either. The majority of my co-workers have never had a negative thing to say about my work and have always found me to be a hard worker in any department that I was in. Quite a few of them said more than once I've gone above and beyond my job, fixing things, helping others and doing work that I saw that needed to be done. More than several occasions I offered to stay late to help with the workload or to guide the less experienced people they put in the departments. 

I think what pisses me off the most is that my work ethic, dedication and efforts were because the woman who likes to pretend she's the head of the store disliked me and couldn't keep her personal hatred for me out of the workplace. I was nothing but nice to her, offered to help and took direction from her, only questioning something when something was unclear to me. Basically, she cockblocked me over her pettiness. Whatever her other reasons are pathetic and I'm not going to waste time listening to what she has to say to or about me. Why? Because I know that I have a level of success she never will. Take that to the bank with Daddy's money, Sweetheart.  And while I'm being seemingly childish and I suppose a bit petty, let's mention her other treatment, shall we? She would go out of her way to ignore me if she was addressing a group of us or would pretend not to hear me answer any of her questions. She actually wrote me up for things she does herself; I never wore my lanyard around my neck, especially since working in the stockroom I didn't want it to get caught on something, got a point for that one. Texting my ride home, while on the clock, yet everyone can sext their boyfriends and call girlfriends in fitting rooms and hiding up in the stockroom. Yeah, okay. I think the kicker was me having a snack in the back while watching someone she TOLD ME TO NOT LEAVE ALONE while taking my medication. She said it was no problem, I just couldn't eat in the stockroom, she'd keep an eye and I could go finished. I was surprised at her level of humanity, so I thanked her, went to finish and came back. All she said was employees couldn't eat back there; I never thought anything about it because I saw a bunch of other people drinking their iced coffee or eating candy back there. Three weeks later? She writes me up for that. I went she went home and rubbed one out thinking about giving me those write-ups. 

While on the subject of work ethic, here's another kick in the teeth. A lead position opened up in my department and I was told by two other managers, and two other department leads that I should go for it; they all believed in me, knew I could do the work and would get things done. I put my name in. Two days later, I find out that cunt gave the position away to a girl who asked her for it. No interview, nothing. She didn't even interview me! I don't want to believe it, but a large part of me thinks they were all laughing at me behind my back. I mean, why say anything when I had a snowball's chance in hell to get it? I was then told by another manager that she was interviewing me for a floor lead position. I thought that was alright, more hours that's what I really wanted. The interview went okay. She told me that she's looking to move people up to full time and that if I opened my availability up, I'd be given more hours and that she was looking to help me out with that. A few days later I see the schedule book and see 10 fucking hours. 10 hours. 7 less than the previous week. I lost my shit and went postal. I went and told one of the other managers that I'm done with the lies, the games, the empty promises. He thought I was kidding. The joke was on him when two other managers asked me and I said I'm done. I'm giving notice. I was told that I needed to give a written notice and then after that, I would work there for 2 weeks from the date of giving written notice. Fair enough. I gave written notice to The Führer and her buddy in the office there saw it and that afternoon I was taken off the schedule. No two-weeks like I was told. I had the 10 hours they'd given me from the previous week and it just wasn't worth it to come in. I'd have to use Uber both days and by the time I was done, I'd make maybe 40-50 bucks? Not even worth it to go in and be treated like shit for that little amount of money.
I went and told the actual manager of the store, not the assistant ones who like to pretend they all have his title and surprise, surprise, they hadn't told him that I was thinking of quitting. He didn't have the foggiest of what was going on. He said that it was a shame to lose a hard worker like me and that he appreciated all that I did for him and for the store. I felt like smacking him across the face. If he really felt all that he'd have helped out with getting me some hours, kept his managers in check and not have allowed half the shit that went on there. I walked out that day. Done.

It wasn't just pretend Führer who is coated in the blame here. Some of my other co-workers are as well. I feel like they used me to be their pack mule. They knew that I had the physical strength to do a lot of lifting and carrying and several of them constantly called me to do all the heavy lifting. I was happy to help co-workers for the most part, but when I started getting called because they didn't feel like lifting things, I began to get a little angry and resentful. Honestly, in all of the workplaces I've spent time in, countries I've worked in this one has to be the most childish, unprofessional and frankly abusive workplaces I've ever wasted my time in. This isn't a smear campaign; it's my experiences at said workplace.

I think depression played a large role in why I decided to finally throw in the towel and quit. I stayed longer than I thought I would, honestly. Time and time again my self-esteem and blood pressure were tested at this place of "business." I constantly felt unwelcomed and like an outsider despite all my best efforts, trying to be a good co-worker and friend. In the end, I just got shit of the childish cliques and favouritism of management. They made me feel like I had no real usage and it fueled my self-hatred and thoughts of self-harm. Several times I'd come home from work crying over how I'd been treated by a manager or a co-worker and hurt myself to try and cope with all that I was going through. I'm relieved that I no longer have to go there. I was barely maintaining the facade that everything was okay, I was drowning and my health, both mental and physical, was suffering. I know that work isn't meant to be a playground, I just didn't expect it to be as childish and toxic as it was.