Delectables with Dan: Thin Mints Cupcakes

And for the record, they're not made with actual Girl Scouts. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe I'll do a recipe like that later on. Who knows? Kinda moving with no direction these days. There are basically no photos for this blog, but you all get the idea of it and most of you only care about the final product anyway. Let's keep this simple, after all, that's what I did when I whipped these up last night. I did these the easy, slob way. I didn't make anything from scratch. I don't have the energy or the desire to do it these days. I just want to stick them in my mouth and return to bed to be a giant lump. So this is the half-ass lump version of my Girl Scout Cookie Cupcakes.

You will need 2 sleeves of Thin Mints cookies (yes, they're vegan!) 1 boxed chocolate cake mix, 1 tub of store-bought chocolate icing. Make sure that the mix and icing do not contain egg or milk products in them. I always make my chocolate cakes with vegetable oil, a splash of water and unsweetened applesauce. Use whatever vegan methods you like. I'm not here to change how people cook. Mix all of the ingredients you're using to make the chocolate cake together well, make sure there are no lumps and bumps; you don't want the thing looking like Rosie O'Donell's ass. Once you've done that, crush up half of a sleeve to a sleeve of the cookies. You can do this by either using a food processor (urgh, effort) or by putting the cookies in a zip bag and taking a little meat tenderiser or what I like to call a mini-kitchen mallet and smash the hell out of it. I like this way most of all because while it does smash up the cookies like I need, it also give me a way to work out some of my pent up aggression and depression. Kill two birds with one stone. That's what we like here on Delectables with Dan. Once you've given them an Amber Heard style ass beating, add the cookie crumbles into the cake batter and mix well. Put them into either lined cupcake tins or well-greased cupcake tins, whatever floats your boat, making sure that the spaces are evenly filled with batter. Put in to bake at 350 degrees for 20-22 minutes or until cakes are baked. Give them a jab with a little metal skewer if you need to check them. You want the smallest bit of jiggle in the top of the cupcakes, not like Puffnstuff was he runs in the back garden. Too much jiggle; sexy as hell, but too much.
Allow the cupcakes to cool before attempting to ice them. Once they're as warm and fuzzy as an Isis bride, it's time to slap some icing on them. Use an icing bag with a large star tip to ice. Start in the centre of the cupcake, working your way along the outside of the cake and create a nice little mini mountain of icing. Plonk one whole cookie in the centre of each cupcake and decorate with rainbow sprinkles. That nice little pop of colour is important. Makes me feel like I've almost done something good with my life.

I have another version of these where I fill the centre with a creamy mixture, like a chocolate cream cheese infused with bits of the cookie, but I was too tired to make it for the blog. I don't know if I will do it later this year or if I'll even be here later this year. I'm tired and all I want to do is sleep. Nothing matters anymore. I might leave notes for someone to continue this blog, but I doubt anyone would if I did leave notes. Well, until the next time I can get the energy to do one of these.