Let's Sleep Together: An AirBnB Story


I love to travel. I've done a fair amount of travel in my time and each time there's a stand-alone experience. Seeing as I'm on the go again and will be heading away again in about a week and a half's time, it's fitting that I share a travel story. I should share more of them on here. I've got one from Mexico that's one for the ages. It's not all tacos and sombreros there people.

This time, the setting is Denver, Colorado 2015 a few days before Christmas. I'd flown in from Chicago, where I'd gone to see the final Kill Hannah Shows, to visit a long time internet friend. I was a bit nervous meeting her in person, despite talking to her online and video-chatting with her for about 7 years, but what I didn't know was that it was the rental that I'd booked in Denver that I'd have to worry about.
I was excited as I made my way through O'Hare. I was going to the land of marijuana and Columbine. Two passions of mine. A Graceland so to speak. Thankfully it's not a long flight from Chicago to Denver, so I got there and rang my mate to tell her I'd landed. She told me that I'd need to wait a while for her to show up. A bit deflated, but not entirely, I sat and people watched while I waited. It was a bit of let down, to be totally honest. I expected a larger variety of weirdos than I saw. My mate Annie and I threw my shit into her car and zoomed away from the airport. It didn't feel weird to meet her in person as she wrapped her arms around me. She felt warm and smelled kind of like honeysuckle. It was amazing to finally know what she smelled like; I'd wondered that for ages. Well, that sounds kind of creepy right there that does. I'm not meaning it in a pervy way! She just always looked so neat and clean. I'm a curious boy by nature.
She apologised I couldn't stay with her at her family home and I assured her it was quite alright. I'd feel better at a hotel or a rental due to my shyness and my being uncomfortable in using other people's dishware. She showed me some of Aurora where she lives. I drank in the excitement in the air, lusted after the snowy Christmas decorations. I wished I had about 4 more eyes so I could take in everything. I asked her if she'd take me to Columbine High School during my stay and she told me she would knowing how interested I am in the massacre. She told me she needed to pick up her boyfriend at work in a little, but she could take me to the rental property and help me get settled in before she had to go.
I looked through my papers and my printed receipt for the property and punched the address into the GPS on her phone. Even with that, it took us a little bit to find the flat. It was tucked away in the oddest place behind another building. I was supposed to meet the owner of the flat there, but he had to work, so he told me that his brother would be there to let me in, give me the tour & keys and answer any questions I may have. The brother was lovely and funny, sharing some of his travel stories with me and I shared some of my own with him. He gave me the tour of the place and I found it a bit odd there was like a mattress tucked in the side of the kitchen, but didn't think much of it. I mean, who the hell was I to judge.
He showed me how to work the cable and the DVD player before telling me that he'd need to head to work soon and wished me a pleasant stay, but not before saying, "Oh Tom will be home soon, so you can meet him." Excuse me? Fireworks exploded in my brain and adrenaline hit my system in .2 seconds. 'Will be home soon?' I didn't want to bother Andrew with my questions so I just pretended to be busy with my phone as he left. The advertisement didn't say anything about sharing the property with the owner. It did seem rather homelike after I stopped and thought about it. Reality sucker punched me in the back of the head. I'd have to spend two weeks in this flat with some guy I didn't know....and what's creepier is that never once in our email exchanges did he mention that I'd be staying with him. I'd paid $700.00 to sleep on someone's kitchen floor? That didn't sit right with me. I needed to escape. I didn't want to even meet the creepo. I needed to escape. 
I was flooded with pure panic. My brain jammed gears as I fumbled trying to think of a way out. I had nowhere else to go. I knew no one in the city. I didn't have that much cash on me since I pre-paid a lot of things and I'd not been to exchange any other cash yet. I didn't really want to use my credit card and get conversion fees on it. Fucksticks. I managed to calm myself down and look for another place. I needed to be able to get there on public transit. I remembered that despite the size of Denver, there was really no public transit around the area. I looked at the clock and realised el pervo de Denver would be home soon. My frantic typing increased in speed.
I found a cheap place near the airport that had a shuttle. I called for a ride and threw my shit into the bloke's car and didn't even look back at the place as we pulled away. I knew that I needed to at least tell pervo that I had to leave and where I'd left the keys. I texted him saying that I had a personal emergency and that I had to leave and that I'd left the keys on the kitchen table. He said he hoped everything was alright and that I'd stay with him at a later date. Yeah, no I don't think so. Already got felt up at someone's house before and it wasn't enjoyable.

I escaped and arrived at the hotel I booked, the entire trip costing me about double overall and pissing me off. As I paced the hotel room, rage filled me and I thought about going back over there and kicking the shit out of him. I thought better of it until he told me that he wouldn't refund any of the payment I'd made for the stay. I thought I was going to have a stoke I was so goddamn angry. If I'd been able to get a ride back to that apartment complex, he'd have been celebrating Christmas in the fucking hospital. My mate, Anja talked me down when she rang to wish me a happy Christmas, so that helped a bit. I still think back on this and wonder where the piece of shit is now and how many more he's done this to. I reported it to Airbnb but got nowhere with them. Didn't get a refund only a spike in blood pressure and an increase in my destain for human beings.

I decided to try Airbnb again for my upcoming trip to Providence, Rhode Island. I hope this time it goes a little better and I'm not stranded on the fringes of New England with nothing but my bag, Pork Chop and an overwhelming sense of 'what the fuck just happened?' Stay tuned for more adventures here on Mental Masturbation.

On another topic completely, are any of you guys fans of Ghost? I finally discovered their cover of 'If You Have Ghosts' last week and I fell in fucking love. It's acoustic and so subtle. Papa's voice echoes and captivates. He's a powerhouse of tenor vocals and talent. I want to see more acoustic stuff from them, despite their legal troubles. I really hope they carry on. I've not been able to see them live and the musicianship is fucking ace. I highly recommend a listen.

LINKS
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan

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