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Delectables with Dan: RAINBOW CHIP COOKIES!!




DELECTABLES WITH DAN GETS COLOURFUL WITH RAINBOW CHIP COOKIES!

Though I'm a black and white or monochrome bloke myself, I had the urge to get colourful and make some cookies. As usual, my lovely little assistant, Pork Chop was here to help me and add a bit of magic to the dreary Sunday. Yeah, I know, two blogs in one day! Fancy, fancy. I just promised these and it was time to kick off Cupcake Month. 

YOU WILL NEED
1 egg
1/2 tsp of salt 
2 tsp vanilla essence 
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda 
1 package of mini chocolate chips (you will have some left over) 
226g butter (softened or melted)
290g flour 
150g granulated sugar 
150g light brown sugar 
food colourings in red, yellow, green and blue. 

You're going to bake them for 8-10 minutes at 190C/375F.
**You can also make these using vegan substitutes**

You can even make a homemade ice cream to put in between two of the soft, chocolatey chip cookies. Makes a vibrant end to any evening or can be a great party favourite. Personally, I love than with chocolate ice cream in the centre, but vanilla and strawberry work just as well. 


Pour the melted butter over the flour, the bicarb and salt and mix together. If you're using softened butter, cream it together nice and gentle, like your working the tempting thighs of your lover. Just don't moan, it's kinda weird. Well, hey, your house, your rules, just don't blame me if you get caught pulling a Jim Levenstein. ((If you're too young to get this joke, you're too young to be on this blog.)) 


Add in your granulated sugar, light brown sugar, egg and vanilla essence slowly, sensually. We're not in any rush here. Make sure that you mix everything thoroughly and to make sure there are no lumps of brown sugar because that simply won't do. Lumps are never good in any situation, usually, means trouble and baking is no exception. It means you're gonna bite into a cookie or a biscuit later on and possibly chip a tooth on a hunk of that hard shit.  Once you've made sure there are no hard lumps in your batter by performing a sort of breast and or testicle exam with your cooking spoon, it's time to add in the chocolate chips. Once you've gone and mixed them in, break the dough out into 6 even parts.

I went with breasts and or testicles because you never want to leave everybody out, you know what I mean? I may not be a "family friendly" blog, but I want to make sure there's a little something for everybody on here. I just can't help myself, I'm a caring kinda guy. Once you've broken your dough out into 6 even parts, here comes the real fun. If you don't want to get your hands stained with food colouring, you can wear a set of latex gloves. It always kinda disturbs people that I have a large stock of latex gloves in my house. I'm not up to no good. Honest.  Add in or squeeze out roughly a tablespoon or two of food colouring into your dough. Mix evenly, working the dye into the dough. To make the purple coloured dough, mix equal parts red and blue dye together. 



Volia! We have rainbow dough. If you desire to have a richer colour dough upon baking, you can go ahead and add a pinch more food colouring. The dough should not be too soft while doing this or too saturated with food colouring otherwise they won't bake properly and you'll end up with a mess that looks like the Lucky Charm's bloke leaves behind. Unless you're into that sort of thing. I'm not here to shame or anything, but that kind of kink play doesn't belong in the kitchen. That's just not sanitary. 


On a sheet of baking parchment or wax baking paper, you're going to work your dough into tube shaped masses and lay them side by side, colour by colour. You can arrange them in any way that you desire, it doesn't have to be a perfect rainbow. I'm thinking that I need an orange colour here. I didn't see it before, but now I do and it's kind of pissing me off. If you've done it the right way, the dough will look like turds; in shape, not colour. ((The shine is due to using a gel food colouring and the lighting in my kitchen.)) 


Once you've done this, carefully roll the dough and baking parchment together. You want them to mash together as you roll. Once you've done this, put into the icebox to chill for 20 minutes. It will make it easier to twist the dough together come baking time and allow them to hold their shape a little bit better when you're making the cookie balls. 



Wash your hands before taking the dough out of the icebox. I know what you did while you were waiting and it pleases me. Go forth my children and enjoy the fruits of the flesh! That can be taken one of two ways...I mean the touchy way, not the Albert Fish way. Well, I can't really say that too as he touched too. Let's not debate here, we've got cookies to bake. Once you get the dough out of the fridge and twist it together, work the dough into a nice ball. It will be about the size of a small football. (Small soccer ball) CRIKEY MATE, THAT'S A BEAUTY! Sorry, bit racist there. I've been watching a lot of Wilfred lately, the Australian version and things kinda got away from me there. If you've not watched it, I recommend it. 


Using an ice cream scoop, scoop out a 2-inch amount of dough and roll into equal sized balls. Place evenly spaced on a greased baking sheet or on a baking sheet covered with baking parchment. 5 cookies to a sheet is what I went with. Once you've done this, carefully press down on the balls of dough like you're making a hamburger patty. The cookies should press down nice and round. Once you've done this, sprinkle the top of the cookies with some of left over chocolate chips. 


Put into bake for 8-10 minutes. Cookies will not be as vibrant in colour as an unbaked dough. Outside top of the cookie will be slightly soft and chips should not have melted, but they should be soft and melty to the touch. Put on a cooling rack to cool before serving. They have a brilliant buttery chocolatey taste with a pop of colour. Kind of like tasting a Monet, lovely splashes of colour, perfect delcate balance. I'm an art lover, what can I say. Beauty is important to me, all sorts. They're great to eat alone, like the ice cream sandwich idea I mentioned earlier or with a glass of milk. Enjoy.




I'm going to figure out if I can make them more vibrant in colour when they bake. Any suggestions? They taste fucking amazing honestly and I have to say it was a lot of fun playing with the colours and baking cookies. It's been a while since I just baked a simple cookie. I'm thinking of doing these using mini M&Ms as well! Be sure to check out the Delectables with Dan on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram so you can stay updated on them! I probably won't do a blog on them because it would feel a bit repetitive. 

*Will make 20 medium-large sized cookies*

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