Dan x Dan Do New England Take One
It's getting to be autumn, my favourite time of year and I figured why not kick off the best season of the year with a fair that celebrates it! Actually, it just takes place in the autumn and it's about the culture of the New England states or something like that. I remember vaguely going to it when I was about 8 years old or so...18 years ago. Jesus Christ, time flies.
I saw and did so much that I'm going to break the day into sections. And in a few days time the first vlog of the day up. Throughout the day I saw some of the most bizarre & disgusting food items, saw some of the cutest animals ever and so many big booty bitches that I almost didn't know what to do with myself. The first thing I did when I arrived is go through all the state buildings they have; Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Maine, Connecticut, Vermont & New Hampshire. I thought they'd have New York and New Jersey but for some reason, they didn't. I didn't think to ask why. I'm sure someone there would have known, hidden behind all the food and crap vendors.Getting tickets wasn't a problem. I arrived with lil Pork Chop around midday and saw there wasn't a line. I walked up and got a ticket and slipped through the gates like I was some sort of a big deal.
There were so many people here! I knew there was going to be a crowd and a half, but this was so much more than I expected! Then again, it was opening weekend. I saw a lot of kids without their parents close by. One lady actually had me hold her baby while she got a beer. "Here lanky stranger with metal through your face, hold my infant son while I consume another mind-altering beverage in the hot sun." I never said this place would draw the brightest minds of the age.
My first stop on the state buildings was New Hampshire. As some of you know I'd spent some time there in my youth, but in the state building, I saw some strange things. Each state has things, foods, products etc that the state is "famous for" along with some of the lesser-known treasures.
I thought these were chocolate covered dildos and oddly shaped anal "beads" of some sort. I'd never seen anything of the sort. Upon further inspection, I found that they were indeed edible confections. Chocolate covered bananas and chocolate covered apples. Chocolate covered bananas, I understand, I fucking love them, but chocolate covered apples?! I wish I could say that was the oddest thing I saw all day, but sadly it wasn't.
In another section of the building, they housed local businesses, many of them creating natural and organic products for hair, face and body. Some of them were wonderfully fragrant while some of them reminded me strongly of cat urine. You can't have everything. I enjoyed looking through the hand-carved soaps before nearly having a heart attack at the prices. One vendor had her soaps for like $15.00. I wouldn't buy a $15.00 soap unless it had the answers to the afterlife carved into it! They had tonnes of maple products as well. Normally when I think of maple products I think of Canada. Probably because of their flag and all. Though when I was in Vermont as well as New Hampshire, I watched people spread maple syrup on the snow and eat it. It was the oddest thing I'd ever seen. I was always taught to stay away from yellow snow....
Following New Hampshire, I headed into the Maine building. With the release of the Stephen King film It only a week before the launch of the fair and the opening of the Maine state building, I expected to see something for him, the state's true gem, but there wasn't anything! What the fuck! I thought it was a lost advertising opportunity, not only to get the youth into reading and for King to sell some product, but also a way to boost state tourism.
They had a collection of Maine foods and favourites in addition to wonderfully crafted things. There were many sea glass creations, they drew my attention. They also had stained glass! The colours they managed to blend were wonderful. They had sculptures, window accents, actual windows and other little trinkets. I think they even had a few of the sea glass lamps. I honestly can't remember right now. They had a thing about Maine potatoes as well, I always though Idaho grew all the potatoes for America since it's like the potato state. Guess not. They had a little potato wagon and it made me think of Cookoo and the jacket potato van. ((If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend it. It's got that asshole from The Lonely Island and Greg Davies.))
They had a collection of Maine foods and favourites in addition to wonderfully crafted things. There were many sea glass creations, they drew my attention. They also had stained glass! The colours they managed to blend were wonderful. They had sculptures, window accents, actual windows and other little trinkets. I think they even had a few of the sea glass lamps. I honestly can't remember right now. They had a thing about Maine potatoes as well, I always though Idaho grew all the potatoes for America since it's like the potato state. Guess not. They had a little potato wagon and it made me think of Cookoo and the jacket potato van. ((If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend it. It's got that asshole from The Lonely Island and Greg Davies.))
Walking into the Vermont building there was one thing that caught my eye. The wall of plaid. I'd never seen so much plaid in one place. While I found most of the hats offensive, I loved the different varieties they had. And I went and had ice-cream. Yes, Ben & Jerry's. Despite knowing how often dairy upsets me and how I hate the tree-hugging politics of the company, their ice-cream is bomb as fuck. I got me a nice little kids cone and munched away as I walked through the building taking photos and talking to people. I will admit that I was awkward as fuck when I had to order. I got all tongue tied and forgot how to speak English. My german sentence came out as one long word. "EinklienesKinderEisbitte!" She assumed that I didn't speak English seeing my throat and chest in German so she said, "Dear you can just point to what you want if you can't speak good English." I took a deep breath and tried it again. "A small kid's cone please." "Ah! Your accent is cute." She reached in, scooped some and handed me the 'children's cone'. Honestly, the thing was pretty giant to me.
Quite a few people asked me about my tattoos. There were a lot of people with tattoos there but I was one of the most tattooed people around. It was nice that I didn't get dirty looks and that I was just able to walk around and be, well free. I eased up a bit in the crowd, moving through the people.
A few people stopped to ask me about my filming and my blog work and it was nice to have a conversation or two. People were really friendly and it was a great experience to have, usually because I'm pretty much ignored or just made fun of by the general public.
I wandered into the next building where wonder met my eyes. Plaid. A giant wall of plaid. The hats were honestly fucking offensive, but I loved all the different colours and styles of plaid they had to offer. A lot of them were also made with wool. I wanted them all until I saw the price tag and was like 'Tis a bit, rich." I shuffled off thinking of new plaid bedsheets, which I did order off Amazon. I guess it's like with every fair you go to, prices are higher especially if they are handmade or family made. When I open my bakery, I want to keep things cost effective; I learned quite a bit from some of the merchants at the Big E about pricing.
Quite a few people asked me about my tattoos. There were a lot of people with tattoos there but I was one of the most tattooed people around. It was nice that I didn't get dirty looks and that I was just able to walk around and be, well free. I eased up a bit in the crowd, moving through the people.
A few people stopped to ask me about my filming and my blog work and it was nice to have a conversation or two. People were really friendly and it was a great experience to have, usually because I'm pretty much ignored or just made fun of by the general public.
I wandered into the next building where wonder met my eyes. Plaid. A giant wall of plaid. The hats were honestly fucking offensive, but I loved all the different colours and styles of plaid they had to offer. A lot of them were also made with wool. I wanted them all until I saw the price tag and was like 'Tis a bit, rich." I shuffled off thinking of new plaid bedsheets, which I did order off Amazon. I guess it's like with every fair you go to, prices are higher especially if they are handmade or family made. When I open my bakery, I want to keep things cost effective; I learned quite a bit from some of the merchants at the Big E about pricing.
I'm surprised how I got out of my shell here. I guess it was because I had Pork Chop in my bag that I felt I could do anything. Lil Dan has been such a great help with the social anxiety, especially in crowds. I've always had trouble with it, but with him, I breathe a little easier. I'd rather have him in my pocket than be weighed down with a cocktail of psych meds.
I almost couldn't handle the Rhode Island building. All I could smell was seafood. Seafood makes me want to be sick. The smell of it sends my stomach swirling and spinning. It honestly was hard to film in the building and I kinda hustled through it. It's a proud sea state. I think they also had salt water taffy in there. I can't eat that because of all my oral piercings, but it seemed to be a crowd favourite. They had a lot of sea-themed things, projects, handmade quilts that were honestly gorgeous. It got me all excited for my upcoming trip there!
They had the coolest little miniatures there! They had houses, schools, business mascots-you name it. I guess they're the kind of things you use when you're putting together a model of some sort or you're just a collector. The craftsmanship blew me away.
The last stop was the Massachusetts state house and the home to the Eastern States expo! I thought they'd have a lot more shit, especially since it's the home to the expo and all. They had some maple stuff, which I found a bit odd, I always knew Massachusetts for apples. That's another thing, why the fuck didn't they have any cider there? No hard-cider, no plain children's play. That kinda burnt my biscuits and baffled me. I was in the mood for some nice cold cider. The day was hotter than Hades and I was wearing all black.
They had an advertisement for the Dr Suess museum, which I have been to and honestly, its just some statue in the garden of the museums. There's not much about Suess's art, life, other work outside the world of children. I had a relative who went to school with him back in the day and he's got some of the original artwork. I should ask my nan, it's a cousin on her side. That would mean a long drawn out visit with assholes...Maybe she can just talk for me. It was brilliant to see some of the local photography they proudly displayed; you could see the state pride which is so rare to find anywhere these days.
They had the coolest little miniatures there! They had houses, schools, business mascots-you name it. I guess they're the kind of things you use when you're putting together a model of some sort or you're just a collector. The craftsmanship blew me away.
The last stop was the Massachusetts state house and the home to the Eastern States expo! I thought they'd have a lot more shit, especially since it's the home to the expo and all. They had some maple stuff, which I found a bit odd, I always knew Massachusetts for apples. That's another thing, why the fuck didn't they have any cider there? No hard-cider, no plain children's play. That kinda burnt my biscuits and baffled me. I was in the mood for some nice cold cider. The day was hotter than Hades and I was wearing all black.
They had an advertisement for the Dr Suess museum, which I have been to and honestly, its just some statue in the garden of the museums. There's not much about Suess's art, life, other work outside the world of children. I had a relative who went to school with him back in the day and he's got some of the original artwork. I should ask my nan, it's a cousin on her side. That would mean a long drawn out visit with assholes...Maybe she can just talk for me. It was brilliant to see some of the local photography they proudly displayed; you could see the state pride which is so rare to find anywhere these days.
But the fun didn't end there; I headed out of the state buildings to explore the various food concoctions they had and to explore some of the other things that the Big E had to offer. I didn't realise how much of the event was food related. It kind of blew my mind. How could anybody try all the shit they had?
In the next segment, we'll focus on the foods that I encountered on my adventures at the fairgrounds.
Tickets & Info on the Big E 2017:
http://www.thebige.com/
Tickets & Info on the Big E 2017:
http://www.thebige.com/
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