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Danny's Date Disaster


I got asked out. 
Yes, I Daniel, the sarcastic, broody and perverse lad got asked out.
And I was painfully awkward. 
I didn't know how to answer her.
I'd gone into an alternative shop that I frequent every few months or so when the whole thing started to unravel quickly. "Hey, I've seen you in here before, but not for a while though. What have you been up to cutie?" At first, I couldn't believe she was talking to me, then I realised that I was the only other person in the shop. "Oh, around. Doing things. Blogging, travelling. Working on my new book." "That's amazing." She pours herself over the counter at me. "What have you got going on these days?" "Book writing." I can't think properly. Her tits are staring me in the face and for some reason, I can't look anywhere else but her cleavage that's encased in a too small, very low cut black top. "What are you doing next weekend?" "Me? I don't know. Why?" "Cause I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere with me. I'd like to take you on a date." My mind went blank. "I-" I forgot how to speak English in that moment.  My tongue twisted around inside my mouth for what felt like an eternity and prompted her to ask,"So what do you say?"
"Iarlreadylikesomebody." "What?" I take a breath and try it again. "I already like someone." That doesn't detour her. "Oh, well you want to come with me and some of my mates? You know like a friend thing? I'd really like to get to know you better." "Okay." I managed to squeak out. "A group sounds okay." "Gimme your phone and I'll put my details in there so you can like chat to me sometime." I slid my phone across the counter so she could put her details in. She asked me about my latest projects while she put her details in and told me she should get together in two weeks or so when she's got time off. I told her that I would have free time, so she picked the date and she told me she'd get back to me with the details of where to meet. Blushing, I thanked her and sort of crab-walked-shuffled out of the store mentioning that I had to get to the cinema. 

 I let a week pass before I approached the girl via social media. I didn't want to look like a douche, but I didn't want to look thirsty either. I was casual when I asked her what time she wanted to meet up with her mates. I sat waiting for her reply, as the chat bar said she was online. It took an awfully long time to type "Hey, Dan." into the bar, but me being clueless in the ways of dating and romance really, I just didn't think anything of it. I replied back with a suave, "Hey" and watched as the began to type her response to my earlier question. ((Thinking back I should have probably opening with something else other than asking about the meet time. I'm sorry I'm awkward!!)) "I don't think I can make it that day. I might have to work." I found that a bit awkward as she had picked the date, telling me she was free but did I catch on that something was off? No, of course not. I made it worse. "Do you want to meet up another date? Or maybe when you get off work?" "No, I don't think so."

And as I read her reply of "No, I don't think so" the song 'Osama Blew Us Away' began playing in my head. No idea why my mind went to that one, but it did. It'd felt the depths of confusion I'd never felt before. Still, I can't work it out. Why would she ask me if she had no intention of going out with me? Why is it bothering me when I have no interest in her? Is it my fragile ego bruising that's got my feather's ruffled? Then it struck me, Rodney Alcala got on a dating game and had a girl agree to go out with him and he murdered almost a dozen or so people, and I can't even get a proper explanation as to what the fuck happened. 
I don't want to talk to her. I'm not about to go poking my fingers in where they don't belong. Did she realise what a mess of a human I was? Did she think it would just be a waste of time to go anywhere with me? Was the entire thing just a giant fucking joke? I'm thinking the entire thing was just a joke and I was too socially stupid to catch on. Did I learn nothing from the romantic letter I gave someone only a mere 4 months ago and have my heart crushed? There must be some sort of learning curve that I'm just not hitting. Score another for the universe who's constantly sodomising me. I think it will be a while before I even make any sort of effort. 
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