MAKE YOUR OWN VEGAN STARBUCKS FRAPPUCCINO🍵🍵🍵

It was coming sooner or later. I had to do something vegan on here. Or at least vegetarian. I have this one friend who's always up my ass because I started eating meat a year ago after almost a decade. I don't understand why she get's her knickers in a knot over it. How does whatever I cram in my cram-hole have any effect on her whatsoever? Personally, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone eats or doesn't eat for that matter. None of my business. Don't make my diet yours. *R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me....* I used the non-dairy because sometimes dairy fucks with me, milk more than anything else. Here I present to you a tasty, vegan take on an over-priced crowd pleaser. 

350 ml almond milk (or non-dairy substitute) 

2 tsp. sugar substitute 

1-pint glass full of ice 

1 tsp. vanilla essence 

3 scoops non-dairy / vegan vanilla ice-cream

(you can also use sugar-free low-fat vanilla ice cream if you can find it.)
Soy Whipped Cream (or you can make your own; I've linked it down below.) 

Add all ingredients, minus the whipped cream, into a blender as shown below.

Looks dreamy, doesn't it? I'll be your cream daddy. I'll give you some cream for your upper lip....Moving on! Make sure that your ingredients are completely mixed. You may need to stir and re-blend a few times before everything is completely blended and the ice is crushed down. And if you're a naughty boy like I am, you can add a shot or two of Bailey's Irish cream (not vegan, obs.) or you could do vodka! That's vegan! : D 

Once everything is blended together, it will be sort of a thick, slushy consistency. Pour into a large class, it can even be a chilled glass, if you're fancy. Top with whipped cream if desired. Or if you're a real fancy cunt, you can top with some dark chocolate shavings or a bit of vanilla bean. I would have, but I didn't have any of that and truthfully, I'm not all that fancy. I've only been in a Waitrose one time.

Works out beautiful every time. Look at the subtle waves of whipped cream on the top of that mother. It's a true work of art, unlike anything Andy Warhol ever created. Yeah, I'm ripping on him again. I've honestly never seen a decent piece from him. If you've seen one, please do show me, I'm a sucker for a sense of wonderment. Now, sip smugly while looking out of the window or like me, watching a live show. The point of this recipe is just to enjoy yourself and save some money whilst doing it. Tell Starbucks to shove it up its overpriced ass while you savour the flavour of victory and vanilla bean. I'll have a pumpkin spice one up come autumn and then my favourite, the mocha-mint thing they do around Christmas time. I know pumpkin spice should be my favourite, being an autumn baby and all around autumn lover, but it comes second. 

No, the blender doesn't live in my room. I don't have it in here because I'm an alcoholic or something. I brought it up here because I wanted to make my frappuccino and watch a live stream.  I knew the contents would be too much for a single mug/ cup and I didn't want to have to dirty another one nor did I want to have to miss a moment of the said live show to dash around re-filling my Starbucks cup. Blender will return to his cupboard in the kitchen where he belongs soon as he's all washed out.
I don't know why I'm sitting here trying to explain it, it's not like I was doing anything wrong...or was I? Is there a new Dan x Blender tale to be written? No, no, I got way too off the mark there. There won't be. 

*Note: Not me drinking out of blender, liquid-holder-thingy*

MAKE YOUR OWN COCONUT WHIPPED CREAM!
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/240475/whipped-coconut-cream-vegan-whipped-cream/

🍵LINKS🍵
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkdreamingdaniel/