Labels

WHAT WOULD MY LAST MEAL BE? 🍖🍕🍊



This may seem rather macabre, but nothing really out of the usual for this blog.
I've been watching a lot of serial killer and death row things lately and they all like to talk about the prisoner's last meal. Imagine that. The last food you'll ever taste. I'd think pretty long and hard about that, wouldn't you? It's the last thing you're going to ever put in your mouth...well, maybe the last thing. 
You know me, I put a lot of thought about this. I spent about a week, week and a half, something like that mulling over food choices. Then I realised I may have to make a request within a budget. What the hell kind of low-ball deal is that? You're going to kill me, but can't spend £50.00 on my last meal? Sounds kinda asshole-ish if you ask me. Then I realised financially and budget wise that might not work if everyone was granted this kind of wish. Tax payers already pay enough to house, feed and care for prisoners...but the cynic in me just wants the bad guy to fuck them a little harder and a little faster, just one more time. Maybe this is some deep character and or personality flaw that I should explore in therapy.
Do they have to give a condemned guy a last meal? I say, man, because statistically there are more men than women on death row. And feminists say women are equal to me in all things. This doesn't sound pretty equal to me. Ladies, you know what you have to do. Now, I'm not advocating killing or horrendous crimes, just making a suggestion to even the score out a little bit. Take one for the team. Come up with a plan where someone agrees to be a victim. Does that still count as murder if the 'victim' wants to die or agrees to be killed? Ah, morality. Another annoying thing I have to endure; It's on the same level as standing in line at the grocery store. Big pain in the ass. Alright, that's enough social issues for today, let's get back to my question. What happens if they don't give a guy his last meal? Legally, can they still kill him? Or is this just a kind of fake and empty attempt at wanting to seem cultured or civilised? I'm kind of guessing they can still kill them anyway, judging by how Ted Bundy turned down his last meal request and got the standard thing. Why even is there a standard thing? Who came up with it? Does the warden? Is it different for every death row? Do they get together at a conference of death and decide what's the last meal menu? Does it change every year? Does it ever change? What happens if someone has a food allergy? Do they have alternatives? 

I'd never thought so much about food and life before. I also had a bit of a revelation about life. I always found it long, mostly boring and a great annoyance, but realising that it might be ending soon, knowing when physical death is coming (within a frame of time) I found the tune I usually played on my little recorder changing. I thought about it and found it being really limiting. I saw just how thin the tightrope is that we all walk along; how there are more things for destruction than there are for creation in this world.  I also realised some of the joys I have of foods. I love flavour, always have and I love texture. It hit me just how much I'd miss out on all the new and exciting things that would be coming out that I'd miss if I was ever executed. (Not that I have any plans to be.) It opened up a new world for me. I've started wondering about colours too. Have you ever noticed how you can sometimes taste something through the colour you're seeing? Is that just me? I think it's a sort of sensory memory at play here. The colour, the sight of the food brings back the memory of taste. It associates it with something that you've had before and gets your motor running. I was in a free fall over this last meal idea. 

I was laying in bed watching the Davinci Code when it came to me. Just like that. Out of the blue, I knew what I wanted my last meal to be.  A herb encrusted, saucy and kinda salty chicken parm pizza. Some seasoned potato wedges with ketchup to dip them in, naturally. I'd want a slice of rich chocolate cake with strawberries on top and then to finish it all off a black raspberry and vanilla soft-serve twistie cone. Oh yeah and to wash it down, Coke Zero with cherry. There I go again being 'Diet Cola Dan'. That shit is more addictive than crack, I tell you. I have to order it, cause I can't really find it near me. So worth it. It's always worth it. That's what I'd want. And if by some miracle I was still hungry I'd want a handful of Maltesers and a hunk of garlic bread. You know what? Put that shit in the last meal request. I'll make it work. I will squeeze all of that in. Oh shit, but what about my love for pistachio muffins? I guess we'll just have to let the pistachio ice cream cover that. Shit, now I'm hungry as a condemned man, but tonight is none of that. It's just baked chicken, oven chips and veg. I kinda think I'm getting a raw deal. I might have to go out and get put on death row. I'm going to be in Rhode Island for my birthday...nah, I'm kidding. I enjoy my freedom a little too much to let prison bars get in the way of my thrills. Also, I look shit in orange and vertical stripes are so unflattering. 

If you know anything about execution and or death row and would like to share some of your info hit me up at one of the links below. I'd love to know more about it, even though I doubt I'll get some personal experience stories. What about you guys? What would be your last meals? 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts