Danny vs Apple

This may blog may paint me as an asshole, and truthfully, when angry I can be one and then some. I was beyond frustrated at the lack of help Apple was giving me and I exploded on one simple support chat woman. 
Let's have a bit of backstory before launched a nuclear roast on the tech woman. I have a MacBook Pro and almost two weeks ago, it wouldn't turn on so I brought it in so they could have a look at it and fix whatever was wrong with it. Turns out, setting your bloody wrist on the laptop isn't a good idea. The blood somehow got under the keys and into the board below. It ate through the board in the sections it could reach and left rust around the edges. The guy showed me the board and was like "I've never seen anything like this! What do you suppose this is?" I took a glance at it, straightened up and said, "That's human blood." His eyes widened and he stared at me for a few seconds. I knew I had to diffuse the situation before he freaked out, as he was holding it with his bare hands. 
((On another note, why is it that everything I own always ends up with at least a thin coat of blood on it? I might have a problem here.))

Thankfully he said the hard drive wasn't damaged it was just the motherboard, so I told him to just put the old hard drive into the old MacBook Pro that I had and that would be great. He said he'd get to work on it and ring me in a day or so when everything was all sorted and tested....two days go by and nothing. He rings me late in the afternoon when I'm starting dinner prep for all the arseholes. He informs me that the password isn't working and I'm like 'Fuck you mean, mate?' "The password you gave me isn't unlocking the hard drive when I put it in the other MacBook or the other test one I have here in the shop. Is there another password?" I'm like "No. Just that one. I'm going to ring Apple to see what's going on and I'll ring you tomorrow." We hang up and I get on Apple support because I hate the telephone. He didn't tell me it was the first MacBook that I brought in, not the second one. I didn't give a shit about the second one, so if that one had a problem and I was locked out, I could just erase the hard drive, right?
I get matched with a bloke named John and I tell him that I'm locked out of it and explain the situation. He mentions that I need a recovery key because it seems that the FileVault is on. I didn't remember putting it on either of the MacBooks, so I asked him what I could do. He told me that if I didn't have the key there really wasn't much I could do, I'd need to erase the hard drive and start over like having a brand new MacBook Pro. That sounded easy enough. I mean, the second one, the older one I'd already emptied out so what did I give a fuck? I thanked the guy and rang up Mac guy the next day.
"Sorry Danny, I thought I told you, it was the newer one that you brought in. You know the one with the blood damage. That's the one that we're locked out of, not the older one." I felt all the fucking colour drain out of me. "What?" My voice was barely a whisper. "Yeah, I've tried everything, even the password to the other MacBook you gave me and the older one. It's just stuck there. You're going to have to talk to Apple and see if there is possibly another way around this." I managed not to swear at him, but as you know, the woman who I later spoke with didn't get off so lucky. 

I get onto the support chat and I get matched up with a woman named Gretchen. This is my second time having to talk to Apple support within the week, so I was already pissed off when she asked me if I was having a good day. If I was, I wouldn't be asking for help. I explained once again, the situation I was in and said that I didn't want to have to erase the hard drive to be able to use the laptop again. "I don't know what you could do." Just when I thought I couldn't get any angrier. "I'm a cunt hair away from losing my shit, so help me god damn it!!" "We don't use that kind of language, Daniel." "Well, I do, so fuck you Gretchen and let's get a move on!! SHAKE A LEG!!" She fell silent for a few minutes. "Look here, there's got to be a way around this. If Al Queda can do it, you people should be able to, Jesus Christ!" She told me that she needed to talk to her pimp (supervisor) to get other answers.She asked me if I'd calmed down yet and I'm like, "No, not unless you've got some answers for me."

"Do you have the recovery key?" That was when I lost my shit. I told her twice that I didn't have the recovery key and she asks me again if I have it. I fully went into a rage and insulted her, her parents, everything 

YOUR MOTHER KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE A USELESS FAILURE AND THAT'S WHY YOU WORK IN TECH SUPPORT AND SHE NAMED YOU THAT! YOU FUCKING USELESS, BRAINLESS CUNT!!
AND YOUR PARENTS BETTER PRAY TO WHATEVER FALSE IDOL THEY BELIEVE IN THAT I DONT COME ACROSS THEM AND MAKE THEM PAY FOR THEIR LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF CONTRACEPTIVES AND YOUR FATHER'S WEAK PULLOUT GAME!!

I later slammed my head into the keyboard, while she remained silent. I threw my coffee mug across the room, put my foot through the side of my desk and screamed bloody murder so loud the neighbour rang to see if I was alright and he got a new one torn. (It was easy to make up with him, I brought over a bunt cake later with my apologies. He couldn't stay mad at me, he loves my baking.) 

Anyway, before I could explore further, I logged off the chat, probably saving her from the destruction of her soul. I mean, if I hadn't destroyed it before with my comments. She wasn't helpful at all and she brought my rage on. I looked it up online and there's a chance that I can extract the data through some fancy ass expensive cord and all that, but the issue comes that you need another MacBook to do it. The motherboard is fried in my other one and there's other damage inside it due to my blood eating through everything. And the older MacBook has a problem too. I don't remember what it is, the anger of hearing how fucked I am kind just made all the information pouring out of my head. 

'Dan, why didn't you bring it to Apple first?' Because last time they tried to fuck me. They told me something couldn't be fixed and I'm better off buying a new MacBook-that was almost two years ago and I've never forgotten that injustice. The part was just a little loose from being knocked around going through airports, on and off trains, shit like that and just needed to be resoddered. The Mac guy I bought it do, did it up for like £40 and that was it! No problems after that! £40 vs £1,000? Fuck that shit! And they couldn't have done anything anyway. 

  

Yes, I realise that I could have handled the situation better, but there's nothing I can do about it now except learn to better control my rage. Or maybe take some clonidine before trying to engage with some of these people. Maybe I went a little too far there, but life's too short to spend it regretting shit, eh? I am sorry for what I said to the lady. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I know there's nothing I can do to make that right.

I waited to post this until everything worked out, but it didn't and I had to get a fucking new MacBook. I don't know how I'm going to try and get the data off the old hard drive. Suggestions? Help? Hackers? I fucking lost 5 months of important psych notes, 30 pages of a new manuscript, countless journal entries and reflections and some of my favourite photos ever. I thought it was backing up onto my external hard drive, but nope. Of course fucking not. I'm like a guy who just got out of prison after a 10-year sentence and needs some pussy. 

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GIF Support Rage: Daniel Howell
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUiooLVVHDg
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