Delectables with Dan: Crazy Monkey Muffins!

Today on this episode of Delectables with Dan, I'm going to be making
Crazy Monkey Muffins, or what I called them earlier Banana-Nut, Cinnamon-Sugar 

Muffins. I dunno, Crazy Monkey Muffins sound so much better, doesn't it? And it can

also be a fun one to make with some kids if you can wrangle them. Wait, that sounded oddly

creepy! I didn't mean it like that, I mean your kids, your family, not some random childrens off the street. Jesus.
Let's get down to the baking before someone phones 999 or their local police station. It's a rather long one so be prepared to read. 

What You'll Need:

250g baking mix 

150g sugar 

2 eggs 

300g mashed bananas (2-3 roughly; I used 2) 

50g of vegetable shortening 

55g slivered almonds 

TO MAKE YOUR BAKING MIX YOU'LL NEED
625g flour

190g of vegetable shortening 

3 tablespoons of baking powder 

2 teaspoons of salt

1. Add all ingredients except the vegetable shortening into a large bowl and mix thoroughly. 

2. Once mixed cut in the vegetable shortening to your mix and make sure that there are no large chunks in the mixture.
And you're done!
Store it the same way as flour if you're not going to use the entire mixture together. 

I made a baking mix by using the link below and I think it's epic and you'll be seeing me use it again in other recipes. You can also buy your baking soda via Amazon.co.uk or make your own if you know how. I was lazy and just bought mine. (xD)

ONE
Preheat your oven to 190c or 350f! 

The preheat will make sure that the muffins bake up nice and easily.

During this stage, you will also want to grease your muffin pan.
I was going to make a lube joke, but after that other comment above, I decided that it wouldn't be best. Oh, screw it. Give that muffin pan a nice lube job, almost as good as the one you'll give your 

girlfriend later. 

TWO
Cream together your butter and sugar.

Jesus that sounds filthy...the word cream is really suggestive, isn't it? 'Hey, Jess, do you want some of my cream? It's sweet and thick." <I know she's going to read this at some point and give me a famous "DAAAANNNNN" later on.>  And yes!! We have the appearance of a new bowl! I stole this one from a friend, because: a. I needed another mixing bowl, b. it was Halloween themed and c. I fancied the pants off it...well, it wasn't really wearing pants but you know what I mean.

THREE
Next, you will take your bananas in a large bowl and smash them. I used a potato masher, but you can do it any way you fancy. Fork, meat tenderiser, hammer. Goddamn it, using the hammer would have made me feel better, released some of that inner tension...and probably smashed the bowl to bits. Eh, if it's therapeutic, who cares about the £2.50 cost of the bowl? But then that would ruin the bananas I suppose. Scratch that last suggestion.

FOUR
Once you've mashed your bananas, you're going to add them to the mixture. Fold them into the mixture/batter and then mix thoroughly. Once this is finished you're going to want to add your baking mix (yes, the one that you were supposed to make earlier.) You can just dump it all in there, but I prefer to sift it in. Do what you like, free wheel. It always feels like I'm doing something dirty with that sifter. I always check around to make sure that I'm alone in the kitchen (or with someone who appreciates this kind of humour) before I start sifting. It's a rather odd sensation in the hands...Try it for yourself sometime. I think this one is as old as me; Barb (my nan) gave it to me so I wouldn't have to buy my own...and because I do all the baking for her.

FIVE 
You're going to make sure that you've added your almond slivers as well before or as you stir in your baking mixture. Don't wanna forget about those, they add a little something extra to them.
Now that you have mixed everything together you're going to scoop the muffin mixture into the greased baking cups. Make sure that the batter is as even as possible to make sure they bake up even. Before you put your muffins into bake, you're going to sprinkle them with a cinnamon-sugar topping on them. (Mix together about 2 tsp of ground cinnamon, 1 of ground nutmeg and a handful amount of sugar. Yep, that's what I did, I didn't measure it, just eyeballed the fuck out of it and ran with it.) 

Sprinkle the cinnamon sugar evenly round the top of your muffins and leave them in to bake for about 30 minutes. I sometimes need more time on them, sometimes need less time on them. It's always a hit or miss, depending on what muffin tray I use or how I've mixed the baking mix. Sometimes it's even the weather. Who knows?

SIX 
And after you check to see if these babies are done pull them out and let them cool for a good 45 minutes before serving. You can have just plain muffins, have them with a hot drink or even....for a treat a scoop of vanilla ice cream with them! Make sure that the muffins are cool before you store them in an airtight container. Devour within a week. :D 

And I'm also starting to watch 13 Reasons Why. I hated that fucking book, but there's so much fuss about the Netflix series, so I figured what the fuck. I can watch and or listen to it as I prepare blogs, meet up info and get other things done that I need to. I'll review it soon as I'm done, it will be one blog, episode by episode. I'd love to hear some of your guy's thoughts/ideas /theories so leave them on that blog, not this one, I don't want any spoilers! 
Up next on the blog is going to be a NUDE ADVENTURE and then the Meet & Greet Info for Florida! I'm excited to do the Easter series here on Delectables with Dan!

LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/darklydreamingdaniel
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anjathesickboy/

http://melaniemakes.com/blog/2014/01/homemade-baking-mix.html
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Baking-Powder/b?ie=UTF8&node=359937031