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DELECTABLES WITH DAN: COME TASTE MY ROYAL BLUE... 👑


After that last depressing addition to the saga that is my life, I figured that I needed to do a little
something more upbeat and something that allowed me to make a giant mess. 

You will need: 1 large mixing bowl,  1 mixing spoon, 1 rubber scraper thingy (is there an actual word for these things?) two round cake bake tins, 1 icing bag with star point tip.
1 white boxed cake mix. 3 eggyweggs, 8 tablespoons of butter (or butter sub like what I'm using) 158ml of water, 1 tablespoon of baking cocoa, blue and purple food colouring or food colouring gels, one tub of cream cheese icing and one of lemon icing. (or you can make your own.) 

YAAASSSSS! THE METAL BOWL RETURNETH!
But before I get into mixing, I'm gonna preheat the oven to 165C (or 325). Now that we got that rather annoying bit of foreplay out of the way, it's time to get into it! 



Empty cake mixture into your bowl. Add one tablespoon of baking cocoa to the cake mixture before adding in your food colouring gels. I forgot the fucking purple one, so it's just blue food colouring gel in the mixture. Add 4 drops of the blue food colouring gel to the mixture and stir slightly before adding in what comes next. 



I'm going to melt the butter so that it's easier to mix into the eggs, cocoa, food colouring and cake mixture. Add in your water, decreasing the amount by 1/3 of the amount given. (It will allow more fluff to the cake, just in all the right areas. Basically, you're giving your cakes a ghetto booty. Don't act all appalled by this, you know its good and you know you want it.) 


As you mix your ingredients together the colour of the mixture will turn a deep teal colour. Upon baking the colour will lighten slightly, but still will be more of a vibrant teal blue than a rich deep blue.  Be sure to well grease your cake tins before putting into bake. These cakes tend to be rather tender and can easily stick and break apart when being removed after baking. But into bake for 25 minutes. 




See? They've got that booty we were talking about earlier. I know you wanna take a bite out of it, as do I but we need to wait for them to cool and give them a tad of decoration before we can dig in. Sometimes waiting makes it more worth while...sometimes it drives you into madness, your lust corroding everything it touches.




Wait 2-3 hours before you begin icing your cake.
Carefully remove from tin and set on a plate.
Fill your icing bag (these always make me thing of used condoms once you put the icing in it,
kinda saggy and sad looking.) about half way with lemon icing and begin to ice the bottom only.
Once you've iced little wavy stars all the way round the base of the cake carefully ice the top of the cake with a thin layer of the cream cheese icing. Set the second cake upon the iced top, the flat bottom facing upwards. Ice the top of the second layer of the cake and the sides down to the yellow star flowers with cream cheese icing. Once complete use residual lemon icing to recreate the yellow star flowers on the top of the cake. 



And volia! A lovely cake great for any spring or summertime day. It's a wonderful adventure of taste,
colour and texture! You can also re-create this cake using a red velvet recipe for the cake! Both are just as good.
Sadly, I didn't make a giant mess like I usually do when I do a Delectables with Dan entry, so that was a slight disappointment. 




There will be less blogging next week as I'm headed to Orlando on the 4th of May for Playlist Live! I'm going to be spending the time in Orlando and surrounding cities doing some meetups with some of the fans of this blog and my books. Info will all be posted tomorrow and for any other questions you may have you can write me at daninterviews@gmail.com 

I'm thinking of trying to find another platform for this blog and my previous blogs as Google's AdSense won't allow me to profit from my hard work and content on here do to the "sexually explicit" nature / tones used in some of my blogs because they are "family safe." What a load of bullocks if I've ever heard one. Google advertises on porn sites and other kinds of twisted smut. This is just another way for the universe to reach out and fuck me up the ass without the kindness of lube.  If you guys have any suggestions for other platforms I'd love them! Be sure to shoot me your suggestions via email or social media. 

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Location: Whitechapel, London, Vereinigtes Königreich

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