Delectables with Dan: MYTHICAL MINTY MADNESS (St Patrick's Day Edition! ☘️)
Happy St Patricks Day!
I was going to post this earlier in the day,
but I just couldn't find the motivation to do it.
Depression is hitting me seriously hard these days and everything is a great effort
Most days I don't want to get out of bed and I'm not getting restful sleep worth a tinker's fuck.
I don't even know why I'm posting this at all, I've been posting shit lately. I just don't know.
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but I just couldn't find the motivation to do it.
Depression is hitting me seriously hard these days and everything is a great effort
Most days I don't want to get out of bed and I'm not getting restful sleep worth a tinker's fuck.
I don't even know why I'm posting this at all, I've been posting shit lately. I just don't know.
☘️☘️☘️
You'll need 1 standard golden cake mix! My cheap ass just got an Aldi brand per-usual. It doesn't need to be anything fancy cause by the end it will taste fucking ace anyway! Empty mixture into a large mixing bowl and prepare as directions say. No, but wait! Before you start mixing, remember to preheat your oven to 175C or 350F. I've never really been big on preheating, but I've noticed with cakes it makes a difference; they're more springy when they come out of the cake tins...I dunno, I just like it....
Now that you've prepared your mixture it's time to start adding some magic!
I know! I'm not using my favourite steel bowl. I was really developing an unhealthy attraction to that bowl, so I decided to switch it up and use the giant white one. (It's heavy as fuck btw, probably heavier than how it looks in the photo.)
I added 15 drops of green food colouring to get this lovely spring green colour. You may need more or less to achieve the colour based on what you're using. You can even do your own shade of green it doesn't have to be the same as mine. I like it smooth (unlike my life-maybe this is why I've been using the mixer thing lately, trying to blend out all the lumps and bumps in my life subconsciously.) Use the mixer to mix the green food colouring, it will blend it a lot better than hand mixing. God bless electric hand mixers.
You're going to take half of a package of mint Oreo cookies and smash them up into bits and pieces. Hand stir these into the cake batter. Pour evenly into a greased baking dish. I decided that I was fucking sick of those little circle cakes and I didn't have a proper sheet cake maker, so I ended up using my glass bakeware. I know it's not proper or the right way, but playing by the rules has never gotten me anywhere, so fuck that. Put cake to bake for 25 minutes or until golden spots appear on the cake. Don't worry, there will be little raised areas where the cookie bits have baked upwards. It's totally normal and doesn't ruin anything. Kind of reminded me of a leper when I saw one. You know those pictures that you see in Catachism classes / Bible classes?
Anyway, while your leper-cookie cake is baking, you're going to want to prep the icing you'll use once the cake is cool. For this cake, I waited about 3 hours to ice it. Not any special reason or anything, I just plain ass forgot. I got caught up watching Six Feet Under-that's also another reason why the blog is later than I planned. The show is fucking addictive and it makes me feel better. You guys should check it out if you've not seen it. Back to the icing. A standard vanilla frosting is what you're gonna wanna use because you can't turn chocolate icing green. You're not going to add anything but 8-10 drops of green food colouring to the vanilla icing.
Here's my minty-leper cake, fresh out of the heat box! Which I left on by accident. I looked at the clock and I was like "Fuck me, it's 190 o'clock. Shit, time's flown by." Then I realised it was the oven temperature and that it had been sitting there crying, "Dan, you left me on again! Remember to turn me off!" I was just stood there like "Well, shit. good thing I didn't leave the house for an extended period of time." I really need to write myself notes to remember to turn it off. Jesus. Well, he certainly wasn't around like he claims to be, cause if he was, he might have just turned off the cunting oven for me.
Evenly ice the cool cake with the green icing. Smash up the remaining Oreos (don't fucking eat them...if you have then your cake will be unfinished and you'll regret eating all those cookies.) Once icing has set, top cake with cookie crumbles. It will leave it with a nice eye catching contrast of black and green with added mint flavour without that liquid mint shit in it. You know, I really hate using mint extract. It always is just some varying degree of shit; kind of like every day of my life. Is mint extract the metaphor for life that I've been looking for all these years? The cake will be nice and soft on the inside with a nice bit of a minty crunch on the top. Everything in balance. Not as eye catching as a ying-yang maybe, but since its St Patty's day and everybody will be drunk, it really won't matter.
I'm off for a pint and I'll catch you all next time, either with a Delectables with Dan or something else entirly.
-DAN OUT!
You can order the Oreos here like I did: https://www.amazon.com/Oreo-Chocolate-Sandwich-Cookies-Cr%C3%A8me/dp/B00VJYSGAM/ref=sr_1_cc_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1489754278&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=mint+oreos
Amazon really is a fucking Godsend somedays...other times it's a great big distraction where I spend too much time and money.
Amazon really is a fucking Godsend somedays...other times it's a great big distraction where I spend too much time and money.
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