DAN'S EASTER EGG CHALLENGE 🐰🥚🐰

I can't believe that Easter is just around the corner. It feels like just yesterday I was getting drunk on New Years. Is it me or does everyone feel like this? Time really is racing forward at an alarming pace; a freight train, hurtling towards death and there's nothing any of us can do to stop it. Well shit, talk about starting off on a happy note...Anyway, it's Easter time; The time of year where people think about eggs coming out of a rabbit's ass, Jesus being nailed to a tree corpse and the world will somehow be cleansed of all it's sin. I don't know about all that, but I do know, that I enjoy the spirit. I enjoy the renewal of the Earth, the positive vibes, everything that's so different from my internal world. 
When I was a child it was about a giant chocolate rabbit, who had this kind of delicious orange "carrot" foam inside it. I don't know if someone bought them or made them, but they were the shit. Speaking of shit, I remember asking my nan if Jesus laid the eggs and used a rabbit to hatch them and she just about shit. Grandma wasn't too pleased with that, as she's a strict Catholic. Seriously, no joke. She has that "My Family" lettering set in her living room and has photos of her late husband (granddad I never met, as he died 9 years before I made an appearance in this format.) my father and his two sisters. (Technically my aunts, but I digress) and then...a picture of Pope Francis. The fucking pope. I'm not good enough to grace that wall, but goddamn he is. 

I'm not jealous or anything, it just strikes me as off and comical. In the rare instance that I go to her house (I've been 3 times in 10 years, 2 of them in the past 3), I stare at the goddamn shrine contraption that she's rigged up. I wonder if she's got an alter for slaughter in the spare bedroom. It wouldn't surprise me, her house gives me the fuckin creeps. Like mega heebeejeebees. Right, right, this is about eggs! We'll get back to her haunted mansion on another date, and boy are you paranormal peeps gonna have wet dreams when I talk about that. 

Sadly, it's not an Easter Eggy Hunt. 
 God, I haven't done one of those in so long...Maybe I should this year.
IT'S A LINDT vs CADBURY CHALLENGE!! 

I'm a Cadbury Boy, always have been, so maybe I will be a bit biased on this challenge.
<If you have suggestions for other brands for me to try to do a second Easter egg challenge let me know.>  
Let's compare the packaging first. The Lindt looks really Christmasy...not really an Easter vibe. I know it's supposed to be elegant and look expensive, but it looks like just posh shite. It makes you worry about the price, rather than the taste. The Cadbury is more bright and welcoming, has more of an open spring vibe. It's more eye-catching too. It's not so dull. It draws you in and makes you want to taste it. 
Lindt<Cadbury for this round.
But the challenge isn't based on just packaging alone, so let's move onto the part that really matters, the chocolate. 

I have to hand it to Lindt on this one, the chocolate egg itself is more Eastry and spring like than the Cadbury. The Cadbury has more of a Morning Star death vibe, which I admire in a treat, but this is about Easter, not death or Lucifer. (Who was also known as the morning star.) Is Cadbury trying to tell me that Easter is really about Satan? It would be a lot more interesting than Rabbits and Egyptians to tell you the truth. The tulip is a really nice touch, it really captures the essence of spring, not just the holiday. Nice touch. Very nice. As much as I'm tempted to go with the silky smooth Satan egg, this round goes to the just as smooth Happy Spring egg. Both chocolate eggs had a nice smooth touch to them. Both had a rich chocolatey taste when unwrapped. Lindt>Cadbury.

It's 1-1...which will emerge victorious?
The suspense is terrible...I hope it'll last. 🍫

THE FIRST BITE

The Lindt one makes me think Jimmy Neutron. Remember him? That hair? Maybe it's just me. I actually really hated that show. I found it annoying after a few episodes. And what in the sake of fuck was that Fairly Odd Parents-Jimmy Neutron swap film? I was only 5 minutes in when I started to question my place in life and had to turn it off and go sit in the corner.
It's a familiar rich, almost buttery, chocolate that I've come to recognise as Lindt's chocolates. I was expecting something a tad more festive. A little something different maybe? Like something Easter like or even Spring like inside. 

The Cadbury one is so familiar but always seems to remind me of hen cum. That's kind of what an egg is. Making food more interesting when you think about it and approach it with a fine-tuned lense of reality. But I'm not here to put anybody off, so let's CRACK on. I love the sweet and silky inner centre of the chocolate egg here, it's like tasting memories in some ways. Sometimes the inner centre of a Cadbury gets too sweet for me.
Both chocolate outside her smooth and perfectly chocolatey without being sickly sweet, which is always a plus for me. 

Lindt<Cadury

WHO'S THE WINNER? 

And the winner is...CADBURY! 

The final score: Lindt: 1 Cadbury 2

I liked the Lindt one, but it felt way too like their regular chocolate truffle things.
If you're just going to take the same mixture and filling and just change the shape, why even bother?
Corporate greed I suppose.
At the end of the day, I kinda had to go with the classic. I was really hoping for more with Lindt. Maybe in the future they'll come out victorious! 

🐰LINKS🐰
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I'm not going to be linking Tumblr on here because I'm so fed up with the constant shit on that website. Honestly, it's like cancer...but they do have some pretty interesting shit from time to time, so I know I'll be going to back to lurk. 

EASTER IS ALMOST UPON US! 
GIVE THE GIFT OF LITERATURE TO A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER! 

AMAZON:
(Little By Little) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Anja-Absinthe/dp/1542872456/ref=sr_1_2?
ie=UTF8&qid=1490186019&sr=8-2&keywords=anja+absinthe
(The Suicide of a Wallflower) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Suicide-Wallflower-Anja-Absinthe/dp/1533138362/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490186019&sr=8-1&keywords=anja+absinthe
(Dopamine) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dopamine-Anja-Absinthe/dp/1533138923/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1490186019&sr=8-3&keywords=anja+absinthe

BLURB:
(Little By Little) http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/7726453-little-by-little
(The Suicide of a Wallflower) http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/4535073-the-suicide-of-a-wallflower
(Dopamine) http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/7084576-dopamine

CLEAN IS A BLURB SPECIAL! http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/6630960-clean