FLASHBACK FRIDAY! 2013

Hey, guys, I thought I'd do something a little bit different than what I had

been doing over the past week. So today, I would do a "Flashback Friday" to look

back at where I was 3 years ago and see what's different from then to now.  I'm going

to put my social media links down below in case you're interested in following me.

Three years ago I was living all over Germany. 

I was touring.

I did some modelling.

I wrote a book.

I did amazing photography.

I was constantly riding between euphoric and

despair.

And despite battling eating troubles,
I never felt better.

I felt like I was accomplishing something. I was doing something that I wanted to do.

I was kind of going somewhere. I took pride in my work and the compliments that I was

getting from people. Yet, I hated myself. I never felt good enough in any form of measure. 

This photo was actually taken in Winterthur, Switzerland.

May 2013 

I was here working on my manuscript, "Instant Karma: Just Add Milk" 

and also collecting photos for "The Suicide of a Wallflower" which was 

almost finished at the time. 

A simple beauty shot taken in Münster, Germany.

April 2013

My skin had a lovely pinkish glow and the blond added

to the warmth. I almost forgot that I had my nostrils pierced 

as well! Those have been gone for almost 2 years now. 

A standard shot taken in Magdeburg, Germany

May 2013.

I'd just gotten back from Winterthur and Köln. Minimal 

eye make-up and a bit of lip gloss. 

This was the best I ever look I think. I look back on that year and I 

think, "God, I looked good. What did I do to myself?" But I wasn't looking

good-not on the inside. I was sicking up almost every day and was so anxious

about people looking at me, the number on the scale... 

A year later, I was no longer sick, but I was just as anxious and even more depressed.
I'd beaten bulimia, before the worst of the disease, such as bone loss could take me. But

now? Am I suffering a relapse? 

Read more on my Mental Health Monday Blogs-