Danny & Pork Chop Go to Northhampton for Some Highs! (Ft. Pickles)

I've been waiting all goddamn day for this. Well, since 3:30 am when I woke up. It was all I thought about as I struggled to find my work pants. I was all I thought about as I put deodorant on and brushed my teeth. It was all I could think about as I arrived at work, steaming cup of coffee, my shitty attitude in place. I just have to make it through 6 and a half hours here, then I will be off on the bus to grab Pickles and head to the dispensary.
I need to get more stuff for Halloween. I want to have a blazing good time. I want to be so high that I think I'm a goddamn Jack-o-Lantern. I don't just want this escape, I need it. I just want some time away from my waking thoughts. I want to see things with my entire body. I want the sensations to stimulate both my body and my mind. I need to feel real. That's the only way I can keep going. The bus journey is going to take us about 2 hours and consists of 3 transfers. We have to ride all the way through Springfield, through Holyoke and into Northampton. I wish I could have just ditched work to go, but that wouldn't be very cash money from me.
As soon as the clock strikes midday, I've got my rucksack over my shoulder and I'm racing through the door, purchase in hand. I get on the bus and start down the street to where Pickles will get the bus. Her ass isn't there. I gave her warnings and plenty of time. I'm not happy. I've waited all day and she's not on time? I think about yanking her Post Malone bun but decide better of it. I tell her that I will just meet her downtown at the bus station where we have to transfer buses. She texts me back bitching that I didn't get off the bus to wait for her. Why the hell would I do that? Like, be prepared motherfucker! We have a slight tiff about it, but she tells me she'll see me soon so we can catch the next bus up to Holyoke. I meet up with her and we hop the next bus and head further north. I did enjoy my little bit of alone time to let my thoughts wander. I've been thinking more and more lately; and about different types of things. Everything feels like it's completely overwhelming and I've lost any sense or sort of control that I once possessed. I keep my thoughts to myself as we chatter and ride north, talking about Halloween and wondering about things. She's coming over for Halloween, we're gonna have pizza, snacks and spooky treats. I'm really looking forward to the high. Being high with company is a rarity for me. I generally don't feel comfortable losing my control when around other people. It's a sort of defence mechanism. I have to feel comfortable enough with a person to be able to let go.
We get to Holyoke and have a few minutes to wait before the bus gets there. Ooh! It's an express! We won't be on this bus forever and a fucking day now! It goes right to the other transit station. We swipe our day passes and get on the bus. Sitting, staring out the window I realise that when I get to the Holyoke Transit station (abbreviated Holyoke Trans Station which I find comical) I'll have ridden the entire length of two bus lines. Start to finish. Been there. Done that. The ride is quiet and beautiful. I like that there are not a lot of people around. Lots of lovely trees and brush. I could get used to this. I love the colours of autumn staring back through my soul. I want to reach out and eat their soft maple candies but-we're here. I didn't expect it so soon. We jump off the bus right outside of the building.

I have to laugh at the no-smoking sign irony outside of a goddamn pot shop. Never fails to amuse me. Pickles follows me up into the building where our IDs are checked and scanned. You'd think we wanted heroin or LSD or some other dangerous drug with all the security here. It's completely moronic. Marijuana is safe, far safer than alcohol which too much of can kill you, yet its weed that's highly regulated. The government just doesn't want people to expand their minds and that's what weed does.
The smell inside is amazing. It's impossible to describe. It was so welcoming, caressing your nostrils and making you feel like this is the happiest place on Earth. Actually, now that I think about it, a dispensary is kinda like Disneyland for adults. I can't wait to get some goodies to fry my brain and expand it in new ways. I've been messing around with highs for years, nothing really bad has happened to me...yet. What should we get for Halloween Highs? I know I want more chocolate because I've been eating them like they're free. I want to get some prerolls since it's been so long since I smoked that way and didn't use my bowl...which reminds me I need to clean that. (Side Note: Maybe I will do a blog review on mine, where I got it, etc.) I end up getting each of us a pre-roll as well. I didn't want her to miss out. I didn't care about the THC level this time around; I just wanted a cool spooky name for Halloween. And I knew I was getting baked regardless.

We don't want to head back just yet. It feels good to be out and adventuring. It's not often we do things like this. It's really out of the norm for me, I'm more of a go on my own, quite afternoons kinda guy. I love my alone time. It's not that I enjoy my own company, there's just little to no risk of having my feelings crushed or expectations ruined when I'm alone. We wander into the city centre. The cool autumn air and the magic of Halloween surrounds me. Hunger hits me and I'm rarely hungry when I'm sober. I just don't really like eating all that much. I see it as an annoyance, something I have to fight with and something that will ultimately make me feel like shit one way or another. It's a complex relationship. We decided to take in some of the sights, hit the comic/funko pop shop then grab me a veggie burger before getting the bus back home. I see a rainbow road crossing and I get so excited. After fully coming out this past June, I'm filled with all sorts of pride at things. I'm able to appreciate things like this without worrying about people noticing that I wasn't cis and straight. I don't want to hide anymore. It's now I realise that I didn't really have to at all; by hiding and denying aspects of myself I hurt myself. I made my life more painful than it had to be. Now that I'm allowed to be who I am, love who I love without any shame or fear I'm in a better place mentally. Being accepted was something that I've always been desperate for. I've always sought out some level of approval, as I rarely got it from my parents. As I got older, the desire for that dwindled, instead of learning to do whatever I wanted because at the end of the day I'd have disappointed someone anyway and I have to live with myself, not anyone else. I'm going to spend time doing things that make me happy.

I'm taking pictures of the adventure. I don't have a very good memory, it's gotten a little better than what it was, but I don't want to forget this. I don't want to lose things I treasure because I know there may not be a chance to re-create things like this. I'd been to Newbury Comics before and I loved it. They have all kinds of crazy socks in addition to Funkos, comics and more. I love crazy shops like this. They're fun and funky. I'm drawn to the crazy sock wall right away. They have Shibe and Corgi socks. I can't-I need them. OH MY GOD!! They have the dinosaur socks that I bought in Ottawa over the summer! (And now I remember that I never finished that blog and you guys are waiting to see what happened on that leg on the Danny & Pork Chop Go Maple Tour. Which reminds me I have some shit in the works for Canada next year. More to come on that later.) Pickles and I talk about pops we want, compare the prices here vs online and go mental over some of our favourite things. Her a t-shirt featuring Groot, me a Stay Puft plushie. In case you guys haven't realised it, Stay Puft is kinda my shit. We don't get to spend ages in here because we need to be able to catch the bus back so we're not waiting an hour for the next one. We race to get my burger. By the time I get in there, I realise that I want chips to eat now and I can eat the burger when I get baked later that way I don't have to cook. And they say that drugs make you stupid. Well, some of them do, I can't deny that. I mean, I've seen my father in action. He's a certified fuckwit.

This place has great veggie burgers from what I've heard. I've had their chips before, but never had the chance to try a burger. The last time that I visited, I didn't have much of an appetite, I was fighting with an ungrateful douchesnot and I just couldn't get much into me. The woman at the counter calls me miss and I almost lose my shit. I'm not even aware that I outwardly reacted to that. I hand her my debit card to run it, which clearly says "DANIEL" and I don't really look girlie or have a female sounding voice. I'm sick of this shit, like just don't say anything like that at all. It deeply fucking annoys me. I want to start hitting people that do this; especially when they see my name badge or my ID that says Dan or Daniel and go on to say miss, she or her. I hate people more and more with each passing day, I swear.
I'm waiting for my order when the woman comes out from behind the counter and walks over to me. I have no idea what she could want from me. She's pretty yeah, but she's too thin for my tastes. "I'm sorry that I referred to you as female...I just..I didn't-I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to offend you. I wasn't thinking then I saw your card after I'd said she about you..." She looks straight at me. "It happens, no worries." I wasn't a dick about it, even though inwardly, I kind of wanted to. She had no way of knowing that comment would upset the applecart as much as it did. I'm unsure as to why she apologised until Pickles leans over and told me that I gave her the nastiest look when she called me a girl. I didn't even notice. Pickles thought it was funny how I reacted and that the woman came over to say sorry to me. Looking back on it, it is kinda funny.
She gives me my order and I rip the bag open almost instantly. We much on chips as we walk to the bus stop. Tis the afternoon before Halloween and the hood was completely silent; no one was out and about, not even the pimps and hoes. I'm glad that we're taking the time to walk to the transit centre. It's been a while since I've been able to get out and properly stretch my legs. The silence of the day is kinda eerie. Usually, there are all sorts milling around here, but there's not a single soul. Has everyone died? Maybe I'm just hallucinating all this? What if I'm really dead? I'm so thirsty.
We make it to the transit centre a few minutes later and I just guzzle from the 2 litre of diet raspberry ginger ale that I got. So worth it. I'd not really drank all that much and of course, I move around a lot at work.
It's been a while since I had a good day like this. I think the last one was when we went to comic-con. We agree that we need to go do another outing like this sometime soon. Maybe even plan a little mini trip together. Is this me finally getting what I want? A friend who wants to adventure with me? Someone who actually pays her share and isn't always asking me to pay for everything? Maybe good things do come to those who wait, and you guys know how long I've waited.