DAN TRIES NUGGETS (Edible Chocolate Truffles)

Damn Daniel, back at it again with the edibles. Yep. You got that right. Today, I'll be reviewing Nuggets. They're a kind of chocolate chew infused with THC. Each little nugget square contains 5.24mg of THC. As with all edibles, start slow and see how you feel before consuming more. While you can't overdose on them, you can have a bad high and no one wants that do they? 

They were purchased from NETA, their information on both medical and recreational usage, as well as a menu with pricing and more,  is linked down below. I paid $20.00 for the 100mg box. These are NOT vegan. The next review I do should be a vegan one. I also have a tour update for you guys coming soon! Probably in the next day or so, depending on the order that I upload this. They have a kind of odd taste; it's not exactly chocolate, not exactly caramel with undertones of marijuana. I kinda like it. They're gummy as hell, more so than a regular caramel. They kind of have a sticky texture to them and they feel almost slippery. It's hard to describe it. I don't start slow, you know me. I pop 3 of them and wait for the fun to begin.

Everything feels out of focus. Time itself is at a standstill and my legs feel like jelly. I look out into the sky and a grey sky faces back at me. It's face wide open and almost haunting. The memory of her suicide plays before my eyes. Even when I close my eyes, there it is on the lids. The vomit that stained her mouth and clothing. The discolouration of her face. I don't want these images in my head. I don't want to taste her vomit in the back of my throat. I want it all to stop. It feels like I can't breathe, but I know that I can. I think about the calm that she must have felt knowing that all of the pain, everything that hurts will no longer and all of the voices/thoughts will be silenced. 

I wonder what it's like to be properly dead. What it feels like to decompose. My stomach churns and my throat tightens. I smell decomposition. Why are we born only to die? What is the point of anything if nothing lasts? Where does the line divide nothingness and being? Are they one in the same? Two sides to the same coin? My thoughts swim. I lay back and think about Norway, just laying there, looking up at the snow falling from the mountains. The silence stretches out for miles. The cold freezes everything, but I've never felt more alive. Tiny snowflakes land on my cheeks and instantly melt. The water trickles down my face, leaving me refreshed. I want to stay like this forever. There is something calming about snow and snowstorms...maybe because I know everything is cold and dead. Nothing can hurt me. Through layers of fabrics, I can hide, hide everything I hate, everything I fear. I can suppress everything I don't want to think about or can't think about. Am I the villain in my own story? 

What if I'm murdered? What if one day I don't come home? I'm doing nothing wrong and I'm murdered. Everything in my home will sit untouched. Frozen in time. A half-drunk diet Coke on my desk, the duvet half on the floor, my Puffin doll laying waiting for me to return. My towel drying in the bathroom, my toothbrush left on the sink as I was in a rush to leave that morning. A rush to die. Everything will be the same and completely different. Is this really nature? Kill or be killed? Panic starts to flood me. I don't want someone having that kind of power over me. I've been powerless enough in my life so far, I don't need someone else taking my death away fro me. I decide when I die. Or at least I want to. I can't give up that chip. No. Nononono. Everything in me starts to scream. 

I press my hand against my neck wanting to feel my blood pumping through my arteries and veins. The gentle hmmm of blood passing through miles of tubing is both calming and nauseating. I'm dizzy. The back of my mouth tastes waxy. I can't put my finger on why. I need something cold and crisp to breathe through this bizarre sensation. My tongue doesn't feel like my tongue; it feels like its someone else's. I crack open a diet cherry Coke, but I struggle to pick it up. It feels so fucking heavy. I feel like I'm being weighed down.  It feels like I'm on another plane of existence. 

I breathe slowly, the world losing all of its colour. I'm staring at the screen of my iMac while a film plays but I have no idea what's going on. I feel like I'm going to throw up as my mind begins to wander. I'm driving along the shore of a lake. The beach is a small strip between the pavement and a small patch of grass. It's overcast and drizzling; the clouds hang so low they're almost perched on the surface of the water. The outline of the mountain that rises above and looks down calmly on the lake is barely visible. It feels like a dream, but also it feels like fragments of memories attacking me all at once. I love the smell of nature all around me. The light pine, the damp earth, fur of animals hiding in the brush. I shiver. I want to throw my head back and scream. I'm not even sure why. I feel the tension building in my fingers, pulsing back through my hands and up into my wrists. 

I look out over the water and see a serpentine head rise out of the water. It's a lake monster. My muscles tighten and I'm paralysed with fear. I knew they were real. I'm about ready to cry, both in what I'm seeing in my head and in the current moment. I can't breathe. I start breathing rapidly and slowly, running my hands and arms through my hair. My curls are damp, silky and smooth. I think I'm about ready to have an anxiety attack but I can't be sure. Fragments of memory rapidly come to the surface. I need to scream. I need to get all of this angst and unrest out of me! It's toxic! It's weighing me down!

How do I not know how I reached this place? Why is everything that led up to this moment, this point in time, this version of me, so muddled? I start thinking of all the things that I wanted to be growing up. I start thinking about all the things I can be. I breathe in, but it feels like I'm breathing in rain. I'm sitting in my bedroom, but it feels like it's pouring out. I try to listen for the sound of rain, but all I hear is the low hum of my electronic devices. It feels eerie. I'm on the verge of tears and I can't understand why. Maybe I'm realising how much time has actually passed; that I am not a little child anymore. The thought is terrifying. I'm not ready. I can't do this. I can't be 28 years old. I stare at myself in the mirror, taking in my age, the piercings, the tattoos. I can't believe this is me. Who is this? I want to smash the mirror into a thousand pieces so I can climb inside and find my real self. 

I start thinking about the kind of people I attract. All strange, unstable, bizarre people. I just wanted someone nice. I wanted something nice. I can't take it anymore. I throw myself on the bathroom floor and wail. Everything comes out of me. My resentment toward myself, my resentment towards life, my resentment towards my friends, my resentment towards Puffin. The bitterness burns my eyes as it leaks out of me.

I can't breathe. It sounds like I'm being tortured. I don't know how long I've been laying here but it feels like years. A red and grey sky lingers in the background terrifying me further. I don't understand what's happening to me. I feel the familiar potent fear sweeping through me. I need to sleep and stop thinking. All that has been bothering me is creating this. I curl up under the duvet. Despite the fact that it's only 17:38, it still feels closer to midnight than the middle of the evening. I close my eyes hoping the fog will clear.

Let's review shall we? 

I had to eat one or two more to get to this level of high, but was it really worth it? I'm not sure. On one hand, it was terrifying, but it also helped me to look at emotions and relationships that I'm struggling with and to some degree, make me uncomfortable. My unhappiness was shoved fully in my face but didn't really address everything that's leading me to feel that way. Exploring my feelings is good for me and this helps. The anxiety I experienced here is the same kind of anxiety I face on a daily basis, just magnified. It's helped me to put some things into perspective. That being said, the high is a 9.5 out of 10 for me. 

Value for money? I think it's a decent value. You get a fair amount with the nuggets for the price and the high is good so 10 out of 10 for me on the value. 

Would I purchase them again?
I think I would after I try all of the edibles that are available to me now and review them, but I don't think I want to get that high with them. I think I'll save this level of high for other times. 

NETA: 

https://netacare.org/locations/neta-northampton/