Mental Health Mondays: Social Anxiety
Social anxiety. It's a problem for millions of people and everyone has a different and unique way of coping with how it manifests for them. I wanted to save this topic for a later date, but I'd had some nasty comments/messages lately that ties into social anxiety and I'd like to address it. A few of you have asked why I've featured the Dan plush in my recent travel blogs. 'Why do you bring that plush/doll with you?' 'Is this some kind of clickbait?' 'Is this a promo for them?' No, it's not clickbait and it's not a promo. I'm pretty sure they don't read the blog nor do they pay me for anything. I bring the little Dan plush because he helps me with my social anxiety. Sometimes he even needs to keep me in check. He also helps with depressive moments that I can feel throughout the day. He's a safety blanket.
'If you have social anxiety, why hasn't he been featured before in your other travel stuff you've mentioned?' Honestly? It's difficult for me to talk about. I'm a grown man, covered in tattoos and yet I need a toy to feel at ease when in public. I'm not really ashamed, I just didn't want to deal with the questions and remarks that come with it. And before I even brought Pork Chop (little Dan plush) anywhere I had another doll that I'd brought with me for years all across the UK, the US, Europe, and Asia. It's a comfort thing and if you can't respect that, you can fuck right the hell off.
Everyone handles social anxiety in a different way; some have rituals, some have comfort objects and some take medication. The key with social anxiety is to find a method that works for you. Sure talking with any support system you have is helpful, but you do need a plan for when someone is not available or you need to step out of your comfort zone and talk to a stranger. I bring Pork Chop with me because he's a calming force. Despite being a doll, he makes me feel that I'm not alone. With him in my bag, I have the confidence to talk to strangers if I need to, blend into society, appear normal. It's not just his presence that I sometimes use, sometimes I need to touch him in order to get that right level of comfort. It's the soft texture of his hair or the cool, or the squishy feeling of his little hand. With social anxiety or any kind of anxiety really, it's about finding what makes you comfortable. Finding that small little oasis of clear that allows you to work or adventure. It's important to start small and not try and do too much at once. Small steps. You can use anything that brings you comfort or reminds you of a time that you felt comfort. It doesn't have to be something as large as Pork Chop. It could be a ring from a sister, a journal. Literally anything. You can wear it or keep it in your bag. It's entirely your preference.
I used to think that people could see my comfort doll in my bag; like they knew and whenever I saw people whispering it was them making fun of me for carrying a doll. It took a while, but I realised that it was all in my head. It was my own embarrassment of needing a crutch to do things that should be easy. I suppose going off to other countries for months on end without speaking the language in some cases isn't something most people would find easy, but just think travel. A lot of people travel without any worry or problems. I was ashamed that I was so mentally weak that I couldn't do it alone. And I thought that people would use this as an excuse to further belittle, mock or abuse me in some way. It took a few years, but I worked through it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a medical condition. Anti-anxiety meds don't always work for me. I have no idea why; I should look into that. Another project added to the shelf. And I wanted to have a backup plan in case I didn't have access to medications. Hence the first doll came into being. It was an artist I looked up to. I loved his work and I wanted his confidence. He and his work brought a level of comfort to me that I wanted to be able to experience outside the walls of my bedroom.
I realised that people could not possibly see the doll inside my bag. There was no way of knowing I was touching him when I slipped my hand inside during moments of intense anxiety. No one was making fun of me, and if they were, who the fuck were they? It may be a slow process for some of you guys, but it's not something you can't do. It can be frustrating, tiring and stressful trying to find something that works for you, but the rewards far outweigh all of that. What are some of the methods you guys have for coping with social anxiety? Do you guys have little things you need to do to calm yourselves or like me, have something you use to bring you calm?
Who knows? Maybe one day I won't need Pork Chop. Maybe I'll be able to overcome it all and do things on my own. Some things I can, some things I can't. It's important to realise your limitations and not overburden yourself. As weird as it seems, limitations does not mean weakness. It means that you're smart enough to see where you need to stop. It means that you're putting your mental health ahead of social construct or other people's ideas. It's showing self-care. Limitations can also be a great place to start if you're looking to improve yourself; you know where the line is, now you can work on moving it a little farther away from its original place. You can also use it as framework to define new goals for yourself.
Other questions? Do I adore Dan? Yep. Fucking a right I do. Will I bring Pork Chop on other adventures? Fuck, yes I will. Sometimes I even bring the Phil plush. Will I sucker punch the next arsehole to bring something like this up? Probably. (9/10 would punch.)
Kind of an unrelated topic, but I really wish they did Dexter plushies. I'd kill for one. Excuse the pun there. Does anyone know if I could like have one made? I can do dolls, not plushies. And I really don't have the time to be taking on a project like that. It's a lot of finely detailed work.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkdreamingdaniel/
'If you have social anxiety, why hasn't he been featured before in your other travel stuff you've mentioned?' Honestly? It's difficult for me to talk about. I'm a grown man, covered in tattoos and yet I need a toy to feel at ease when in public. I'm not really ashamed, I just didn't want to deal with the questions and remarks that come with it. And before I even brought Pork Chop (little Dan plush) anywhere I had another doll that I'd brought with me for years all across the UK, the US, Europe, and Asia. It's a comfort thing and if you can't respect that, you can fuck right the hell off.
Everyone handles social anxiety in a different way; some have rituals, some have comfort objects and some take medication. The key with social anxiety is to find a method that works for you. Sure talking with any support system you have is helpful, but you do need a plan for when someone is not available or you need to step out of your comfort zone and talk to a stranger. I bring Pork Chop with me because he's a calming force. Despite being a doll, he makes me feel that I'm not alone. With him in my bag, I have the confidence to talk to strangers if I need to, blend into society, appear normal. It's not just his presence that I sometimes use, sometimes I need to touch him in order to get that right level of comfort. It's the soft texture of his hair or the cool, or the squishy feeling of his little hand. With social anxiety or any kind of anxiety really, it's about finding what makes you comfortable. Finding that small little oasis of clear that allows you to work or adventure. It's important to start small and not try and do too much at once. Small steps. You can use anything that brings you comfort or reminds you of a time that you felt comfort. It doesn't have to be something as large as Pork Chop. It could be a ring from a sister, a journal. Literally anything. You can wear it or keep it in your bag. It's entirely your preference.
I used to think that people could see my comfort doll in my bag; like they knew and whenever I saw people whispering it was them making fun of me for carrying a doll. It took a while, but I realised that it was all in my head. It was my own embarrassment of needing a crutch to do things that should be easy. I suppose going off to other countries for months on end without speaking the language in some cases isn't something most people would find easy, but just think travel. A lot of people travel without any worry or problems. I was ashamed that I was so mentally weak that I couldn't do it alone. And I thought that people would use this as an excuse to further belittle, mock or abuse me in some way. It took a few years, but I worked through it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a medical condition. Anti-anxiety meds don't always work for me. I have no idea why; I should look into that. Another project added to the shelf. And I wanted to have a backup plan in case I didn't have access to medications. Hence the first doll came into being. It was an artist I looked up to. I loved his work and I wanted his confidence. He and his work brought a level of comfort to me that I wanted to be able to experience outside the walls of my bedroom.
I realised that people could not possibly see the doll inside my bag. There was no way of knowing I was touching him when I slipped my hand inside during moments of intense anxiety. No one was making fun of me, and if they were, who the fuck were they? It may be a slow process for some of you guys, but it's not something you can't do. It can be frustrating, tiring and stressful trying to find something that works for you, but the rewards far outweigh all of that. What are some of the methods you guys have for coping with social anxiety? Do you guys have little things you need to do to calm yourselves or like me, have something you use to bring you calm?
Who knows? Maybe one day I won't need Pork Chop. Maybe I'll be able to overcome it all and do things on my own. Some things I can, some things I can't. It's important to realise your limitations and not overburden yourself. As weird as it seems, limitations does not mean weakness. It means that you're smart enough to see where you need to stop. It means that you're putting your mental health ahead of social construct or other people's ideas. It's showing self-care. Limitations can also be a great place to start if you're looking to improve yourself; you know where the line is, now you can work on moving it a little farther away from its original place. You can also use it as framework to define new goals for yourself.
Other questions? Do I adore Dan? Yep. Fucking a right I do. Will I bring Pork Chop on other adventures? Fuck, yes I will. Sometimes I even bring the Phil plush. Will I sucker punch the next arsehole to bring something like this up? Probably. (9/10 would punch.)
Kind of an unrelated topic, but I really wish they did Dexter plushies. I'd kill for one. Excuse the pun there. Does anyone know if I could like have one made? I can do dolls, not plushies. And I really don't have the time to be taking on a project like that. It's a lot of finely detailed work.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkdreamingdaniel/
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