Mental Health Mondays: Melfi's Cupcakes
It's been a while since I last did a Mental Health Mondays post. I know the series has changed a bit over the past year that I've been doing it and I think I'll work back to the original framework eventually. It's also been a while since I shared the ongoings with our favourite therapist, Melfi. She mentioned to me that she saw the blog where I talked about her insulting me and it upsetting the applecart, but she didn't read it. That perplexed me. She said she didn't want to invade my privacy and if I wanted to say something to her I could in her office. What? If I'd come across something like this, I'd have read it. She's supposed to have a keen insight into human nature but hasn't quite worked out that some people can't properly open up in therapy. I've been working with her for a year and a half just about now and she still doesn't have a complete picture. It's not like I ever hid the blog from her, it was aimed to be an insight into the things I didn't want to share in person with her, but I guess that went over her head.
Complaints aside, I tried something new with Melfi. I gave her an orgasm. With a cupcake.
I arrived for my session clutching a container of the Bailey's Iced Chocolate Cupcakes I'd done on a Delectables with Dan segment and a rather malicious grin. "Lookie what Danny's brought!" I gently shook the container. Her eyes grew wide when she noticed the container. "You really brought them for me?!" "Yes! I was up at 1 am making cupcakes and icing them just for you, Melfi. I remembered you asked me about them and who was I to say no? I thought you might like to have a small batch for yourself and some to take home to your family." A small pink blush of surprise made its way across her cheeks. "You didn't have to make them all for me! I just meant that I'd like to try them...I thought you were making another batch." I wave that away. "I want to container back or I might have to whack the shit out of you." "Oh, right, right."
She lets me into her office. "Come inside, Dan." "That's not the first time that I've heard those words." "What?" She asks me, struggling with her keys. "I said, 'I can't wait for you to taste me-my cupcakes." A naughty grin covers the lower half of my face, giving me a striking resemblance to a Batman villain. We're not even in the office five minutes before I say, "Well, don't offend me. Go on and have a bite then. A little nibble." "You're wanting to ruin my diet, aren't you?" She offers a small smile. "A little nibble? For me?" I bat my eyelashes at her. "Oh, alright, just one!" She pops the lid off the container and slowly peels back the cupcake's condom. She looks at me for a moment before taking a large bite. ((What happened next I wasn't prepared for.))
"Oh, Jesus, this is delicious!!" She moaned. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity and continued to watch as she licked her lips and prepared to take another bite. This time the bite is smaller and she's savouring the flavour. "Dan, you're fucking amazing...Oh, God!" Her breathing quicked as she chewed. I watched as her muscles tightened in anticipation. She's really enjoying this cupcake. She's not turned on the little machine that helps to drown out the sound in her office and I see it as a prime joke opportunity. "People can hear you, you know. They're going to think that I'm giving you an orgasm in here if you keep that up!" "I'm sorry. I just can't help it, they really are amazing. You really do have a talent." "Sure as a bear shits in the woods." I watched quietly as she finished the next cupcake, my inside filled with pride. I watch as she swallows the last bite, the tension releasing from her collarbones and her posture relaxing. Her breathing slows to its normal rhythm and she turns to me. "That was amazing." The best part? The cupcake icing did contain alcohol, I didn't make a non-alcoholic version for this little test run. It didn't seem to bother her that she was eating an alcohol-laced cupcake from a client. Achievement unlocked.
"I really want more of you- more of your cupcakes!" Pretending that I'm in the Office I look to the side and raise my eyebrows and offer a light smirk. "These are the best thing that I've ever had in my mouth." "Well, up to this point." The comment seems to go over her head as she sets the container to the side. "Now you little diet devil, tell me what's happened in the two weeks since I've last seen you." The session steams on with me high on my achievement, internally gloating and me barely touching on the crushing depression. Somehow, I always manage to just barely mention it at the end and leave her wanting more, promising to pick up where we left off then never do. Maybe I'm subconsciously testing her; see if she's really listening and able to remember what we've discussed in sessions. I know she's only human and can't always remember every detail, but sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't remember. If I'm honest, it kinda pisses me off. It's her job to listen and if she can't remember key facts what's the use? I've had to remind her of important things more than three times, but I do very much enjoy her reactions to the things I've been up to. She's more of a whiteboard to bounce ideas off of, have a second set of eyes on things as I conduct my various experiments and hurtle through life.
That wasn't the end of the cupcake mentions either. Two weeks after this, when I popped back into her office for my next session, she had the container and a rave review. "Dan! Come in!" I followed her through the secure door back to where the therapist's offices are and into her own before she finally told me why she was so excitable. "So, I took your cupcakes home and shared them with the family, but I ended up eating most of them. Now, I'm old and I've had a lot of cupcakes in my time but you're are without question the best. They are like fucking Nirvana." (Yes, we swear in the sessions. She didn't use to, but seeing as profanity is a large portion of me, she's caught on.) "If you don't open this bakery of yours or do something with baking I'm going to be so disappointed in you." She handed me back the empty container, but I barely noticed that I actually got it back. I was more focused on the last sentence. Disappointed? In me? Why does it matter? Does she have hopes and dreams for me? Goals for me? Has our relationship been redefined and I didn't notice because I've been preoccupied with baking, Chubbs and Abby? It caught me a little off guard and I was relieved when the session had to be cut short when her husband fell off his bicycle and she needed to go be his nursemaid. I left her office with things to think about and I normally don't. I've been muddling through what's gone on the last two sessions and also the reaction from Elvira and my GP, Blondie and I've come to one cemented conclusion. Bitches love bakeries.
Speaking of cupcakes, I'm currently working on a Delectables with Dan cookbook! The series has really taken off on here and I'm still honestly blown away by the response that I've had to it! The cookbook will feature some of the things that I do on the blog and some things just for the cookbook. It will feature the same kind of quirks, commentary and dirty humour that the blog does. I really am looking forward to bringing this project to print! If you have any favourites that you'd love to see in the book, I'd love to hear them.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkdreamingdaniel/
Complaints aside, I tried something new with Melfi. I gave her an orgasm. With a cupcake.
I arrived for my session clutching a container of the Bailey's Iced Chocolate Cupcakes I'd done on a Delectables with Dan segment and a rather malicious grin. "Lookie what Danny's brought!" I gently shook the container. Her eyes grew wide when she noticed the container. "You really brought them for me?!" "Yes! I was up at 1 am making cupcakes and icing them just for you, Melfi. I remembered you asked me about them and who was I to say no? I thought you might like to have a small batch for yourself and some to take home to your family." A small pink blush of surprise made its way across her cheeks. "You didn't have to make them all for me! I just meant that I'd like to try them...I thought you were making another batch." I wave that away. "I want to container back or I might have to whack the shit out of you." "Oh, right, right."
She lets me into her office. "Come inside, Dan." "That's not the first time that I've heard those words." "What?" She asks me, struggling with her keys. "I said, 'I can't wait for you to taste me-my cupcakes." A naughty grin covers the lower half of my face, giving me a striking resemblance to a Batman villain. We're not even in the office five minutes before I say, "Well, don't offend me. Go on and have a bite then. A little nibble." "You're wanting to ruin my diet, aren't you?" She offers a small smile. "A little nibble? For me?" I bat my eyelashes at her. "Oh, alright, just one!" She pops the lid off the container and slowly peels back the cupcake's condom. She looks at me for a moment before taking a large bite. ((What happened next I wasn't prepared for.))
"Oh, Jesus, this is delicious!!" She moaned. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity and continued to watch as she licked her lips and prepared to take another bite. This time the bite is smaller and she's savouring the flavour. "Dan, you're fucking amazing...Oh, God!" Her breathing quicked as she chewed. I watched as her muscles tightened in anticipation. She's really enjoying this cupcake. She's not turned on the little machine that helps to drown out the sound in her office and I see it as a prime joke opportunity. "People can hear you, you know. They're going to think that I'm giving you an orgasm in here if you keep that up!" "I'm sorry. I just can't help it, they really are amazing. You really do have a talent." "Sure as a bear shits in the woods." I watched quietly as she finished the next cupcake, my inside filled with pride. I watch as she swallows the last bite, the tension releasing from her collarbones and her posture relaxing. Her breathing slows to its normal rhythm and she turns to me. "That was amazing." The best part? The cupcake icing did contain alcohol, I didn't make a non-alcoholic version for this little test run. It didn't seem to bother her that she was eating an alcohol-laced cupcake from a client. Achievement unlocked.
"I really want more of you- more of your cupcakes!" Pretending that I'm in the Office I look to the side and raise my eyebrows and offer a light smirk. "These are the best thing that I've ever had in my mouth." "Well, up to this point." The comment seems to go over her head as she sets the container to the side. "Now you little diet devil, tell me what's happened in the two weeks since I've last seen you." The session steams on with me high on my achievement, internally gloating and me barely touching on the crushing depression. Somehow, I always manage to just barely mention it at the end and leave her wanting more, promising to pick up where we left off then never do. Maybe I'm subconsciously testing her; see if she's really listening and able to remember what we've discussed in sessions. I know she's only human and can't always remember every detail, but sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't remember. If I'm honest, it kinda pisses me off. It's her job to listen and if she can't remember key facts what's the use? I've had to remind her of important things more than three times, but I do very much enjoy her reactions to the things I've been up to. She's more of a whiteboard to bounce ideas off of, have a second set of eyes on things as I conduct my various experiments and hurtle through life.
That wasn't the end of the cupcake mentions either. Two weeks after this, when I popped back into her office for my next session, she had the container and a rave review. "Dan! Come in!" I followed her through the secure door back to where the therapist's offices are and into her own before she finally told me why she was so excitable. "So, I took your cupcakes home and shared them with the family, but I ended up eating most of them. Now, I'm old and I've had a lot of cupcakes in my time but you're are without question the best. They are like fucking Nirvana." (Yes, we swear in the sessions. She didn't use to, but seeing as profanity is a large portion of me, she's caught on.) "If you don't open this bakery of yours or do something with baking I'm going to be so disappointed in you." She handed me back the empty container, but I barely noticed that I actually got it back. I was more focused on the last sentence. Disappointed? In me? Why does it matter? Does she have hopes and dreams for me? Goals for me? Has our relationship been redefined and I didn't notice because I've been preoccupied with baking, Chubbs and Abby? It caught me a little off guard and I was relieved when the session had to be cut short when her husband fell off his bicycle and she needed to go be his nursemaid. I left her office with things to think about and I normally don't. I've been muddling through what's gone on the last two sessions and also the reaction from Elvira and my GP, Blondie and I've come to one cemented conclusion. Bitches love bakeries.
Speaking of cupcakes, I'm currently working on a Delectables with Dan cookbook! The series has really taken off on here and I'm still honestly blown away by the response that I've had to it! The cookbook will feature some of the things that I do on the blog and some things just for the cookbook. It will feature the same kind of quirks, commentary and dirty humour that the blog does. I really am looking forward to bringing this project to print! If you have any favourites that you'd love to see in the book, I'd love to hear them.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkdreamingdaniel/
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