Dan x Dan in Rhode Island Day 5: ZooBoys
5 October 2017It feels like late afternoon despite being only 7:30 in the morning. The sun hangs low in the sky as if it's already been defeated for the day. The low orange glow descending upon me reminds me of the morning scene in The Nightmare Before Christmas. Standing on the cold pavement, I've never felt more like Jack Skellington and I'm overcome with the urge to sing Jack's Lament. I can't fight this growing passion deep within my bones. I settle Pork Chop on top of the rucksack and begin my show. I don't even care that the people driving by are staring at me; I don't blame them. It's not every day you're driving through your quiet residential neighbourhood and you see a lanky figure that's heavily tattooed dressed in all black re-enacting a scene from a Tim Burton film in the character's voice.
I'm not satisfied with only Jack's Lament, so I move on to Poor Jack as well, complete will a happy twirl, complete with a jump and proper exclamation when he cries out that he's done his best. I then realise what it must have looked like and I suddenly feel exposed. I resign to waiting for the bus with simply listening to the soundtrack on my iPad. A half-hour later Susan emerges from her house and heads over to me. "Morning." "It is!" She doesn't notice that I'm still filled with musical-theatre fuzz. Nothing can kill this buzz. Then I look into my bag and realise I don't have proper bus fare and they don't give change. All I have again is $20.00 banknotes. Fuck me. "Do you have bus change? I've only got twenties and about a dollar in coins." "I don't have any change." Oh, fuck's sake. The happy Halloween that was filling inside violently explodes. "Maybe he'll just let you ride for free since $20.00 is a lot to spend when you're only going to use the bus a few times." The bus coughs to a stop in front of us and we get on. Thankfully, the driver is in a good mood and he tells me to just hop on after we explain the situation. The happy Halloween balloon patches itself up and begins to fill inside. Today is going to be good. "Where are you headed today on your last day?" The driver asks. "Ah, I'm going to the zoo! I'm going to do some vlogging there and take some photos of the animals." "You know they're doing a Jack-O-Lantern thing there? I think it goes on the entire month, all the spooky events happen after dark though." It's too late to change my plans and go later, but I'm not discouraged. "That sounds brilliant. I love Halloween." "I think they're all set up now. It's really quite the show." I have to resist the urge to scream at the idea of a Jack-O-Lantern pumpkin patch. Now I really can't wait to see this.
I'm praying the old guy and his uncomfortably young girlfriend aren't on the bus today when I make my way to the bus stop. I say, girlfriend because I doubt that they are married. They don't seem the type. Susan gets on the bus and I ask her if she thinks they'll be on. "Yeah. They're on the bus every morning. He goes with her downtown to do God knows what." "What does he do all day?" "Not look for a job." I cough to disguise my laugh."They live in a homeless shelter." "Oh." If I had any feelings that would have probably bothered me. I don't listen to what else she's saying as I'm lost in thought about the time I spent being homeless. I don't mention it to her. We chat a bit longer and he gets onto the bus at his regular spot. "Morning." Both of us say "morning" though the words are tight in our throats. Neither of us wants to indulge him. The unspoken knowledge that if we were to continue speaking with one another, he'll only butt in and neither of us want that, so she busies herself with her phone and I put my earbuds in. Thank God for music.
Susan says goodbye to me as she gets off the bus and tells me that she'll look me up. It sounds like I'm setting myself up to get a sugar mama or she's wanting a sugar baby, but I can assure you that's not the case. Well, it's true for me. She did tell me that the next time I'm in the area I could stay at her house...Well, now. I mull over the thought and the offer in my head. I don't think she's married. Christ, what am I doing exploring these thoughts? I love Chubbs and that's not gonna change. I'm not interested in her or anyone else in that way. I ride into Kennedy Plaza and catch the trolly bus out to the zoo. I'm left alone to ponder my thoughts along to melodies of Placebo. Once again I ride alone to the all the way of the line and hop off ready to safari.
The zoo is packed with mothers and kids. I stick out like a sore thumb. They must think I'm some kind of weirdo; I'm clutching a digital camera and Pork Chop. We get out tickets and step into a Jack-O-Lantern wonderland. It's amazing. I wasn't expecting it to be so consuming. Bales of hay and cornstalks wrap around small tents for beverages and snacks that will be served at nightfall during the main event. I've always found autumn, particularly the Halloween season erotic (don't read into that) and I need to focus on not looking like a pervert with all these kids running around. The first stop is the zebras. I've never seen one in life before. I want to touch them, but I know I can't. Pork Chop and I lean as close to them as we can and I start to take photos. Damn, they've got big asses. There's nothing really protecting people from the animals, just a thin chainlink fence. I could jump over this...There's no one around. I could get better shots up close.
I'm adjusting the lens on my Nikon when a voice appears at my shoulder. "I don't want to be rude, but you are probably the most tattooed person I've ever seen." I look over to see a woman in her late 50's with a bright smile. She's pushing a baby carriage with one of the cutest kids I've ever seen."Oh, haha, thank you! I have more that you can't see. I've almost got a body suit." Her daughter joins us in conversation as the kids are mesmerised by the animals. They ask me what I'm doing in Providence and I tell them about the doughnuts. I don't know why, but they're the thing that comes to mind. "Bye, cutie!" I wave to the little boy and head down the path to the cheetas. I've never seen one of these in life before either. I look up into the tree and see one lazing about, his tail twirled. He's so beautiful. I want one. I wish they had more of them. I know I should be more focused on the animals, it being a zoo, but the Halloween decorations have my attention. I'm so thrilled that we came in October. Best month ever.
We head over to the elephants and watch them tossing hay at one another. It's amazing to see them so playful and carefree. They look so happy, content. That's the life. I'm sweating buckets as I move into the shade of the abandoned gift shop. I'm glad that I didn't come here in summer, fucking hell. I can't wait to see the giraffes. They're next on my list. They're even bigger in person. I'm not really sure what to expect, but my mind is blown. It's less than 10 feet away from me, its long black tongue pokes out of its mouth and I almost scream with excitement. Its like I'm 10 years old again. I'm so excited that I fumble with my phone and almost break it as I take photos for my Instagram. I could stay here all day watching them eat leaves and run across the field, but there's still so much to see.
Pork Chop and I head up the hill to a little rest area where there's a little plastic elephant that parents can take photos of their kids with. I wait in the shadows until the families taking photos finish up and move onto another exhibit before I set Pork Chop on the elephant's leg to take a few photos. I must look like a complete lunatic out here taking photos with a small plush toy, but I'm having too much fun to care. I'm brimming with excitement. I don't know if it's somehow a second day of the live show high or the Halloween atmosphere but I'm feeling a gladness that I've not felt in years. I feel alive. We climb the small hill to check out the sea lions. The cool blue of the water is so refreshing, so inviting and I'm so hot I want to dive into it. I think that might get me thrown out or arrested. I'm tempted to risk it but before I can scale the little barrier a pack of children run up screaming that they want to see the sea lions. And the day was going to peacefully too. "I don't see them!" "They're not in the water! Where are they?" "There they are! They're up on land! Ew, what hey doing?" I know exactly where this is going and rather than stick around and watch some kind of sea lion porn, Pork Chop and I head down the hill and into the Barn Yard area. This was something I wasn't expecting. Why would they have farm animals at a zoo?
There's a petting zoo area and it feels like I'm back at the Big E again. So many children are clamoured around the animals. I feel bad for them. I'd hate to have all these kids grabbing at me, shoving their dirty little hands filled with sawdust pellets at me. I don't partake in the petting zoo here, but I am drawn to an emo alpaca. He reminds me of someone who means the world to me and I can't help but crack a smile as I take a photo to show Abby. The alpaca's messy, dark curly hair looks so soft. He walks over to me and stretches his head out, asking to be pet. It's as soft as it looks. He looks up at me and I look down at him. We share a moment.
I wave goodbye to emo alpaca and head on to see the flamingos and the monkeys. I race into the monkey area only to find one angry looking monkey and nothing else. Where the fuck is everybody? I look around. They only have one monkey. What gives?! What kind of zoo only has one monkey? He's hiding in the upper part of a cage that he shares with a fat little bird with a curl. I want to steal the bird. I know just what I'll call him. Pudgers cause he reminds me of Chubbs. Fuming at the lack of monkeys, I leave the encloser only to realise the sloth wasn't in there either. I re-read the sign and it says he lives there too. I love sloths. What the fuck is the deal here? One monkey, no lions, sloth is gone, farm animals? The pumpkins are the one saving grace of the day.
Pork Chop and I snake through the Jack-O-Lantern walk. So many spooky faces, images and designs peer back at us. I can't wait to get our own pumpkin to carve. Last year I carved a pumpkin spiced latte into one. I have no idea what I'm going to do this year. Ah, I need to figure out a time to head to a pumpkin patch and get a pumpkin. It's no fun to just get one from a shop. My brain is starting to fry and I think it's time that Pork Chop and I take our leave. There's nothing else here to do and I'm starting to get bored. Later Zoo.
We treck up the hill and to the bus stop. I'm swinging him around in the air humming the Nirvana cover of Lake of fire when a thin, pretty blonde woman approaches me. "Excuse me, do you have change for a five dollar note?" Her accent is so familiar. "Where are you from?" "Munich." "I love Munich! I had a great time there!" I don't have change but I pay for both of us to get on the bus as it makes no sense for her to waste money if she's only going to be in the area for the day. We chat the entire 40 minutes from the zoo into the city centre, people glancing as we chat in rapid German. We share our travel stories and talk about the cities in Germany we've been to. She's been to several of the ones I've been to. Normally, I'm shy and I'm always self-conscious of my stomach, but I pull up my shirt to show her the Magdeburg skyline etched into my lower abdomen. She giggles. "Wow." I don't know if she likes the tattoo or if she's making fun of me. I suddenly feel a bit shy and I pull my shirt down. "I just love the city. It's so lovely, I really miss it there." Things are going well until we pull into Kennedy Plaza. "Do you have any recommendations of places to go?" My mind goes blank. Think, Dan. Think. I remember some of the things Spider Boob Woman told me the evening that I arrived in Providence. I spit them out and point out the places that I'd adventured to earlier in the week, telling her all about the shops I'd been in. "Do you have any plans or do you want to maybe go out with me?" The colour drains out of me and onto the pavement. My voice is caught in my throat so I struggle to get the words out. "What?" "You know, go out with me?" I think of Chubbs and my heart starts to bleed. "I have a boyfriend." "Oh, the boy on your phone?" I can't explain the entire situation without making it sound like I belong on Jeremy Kyle or in some of asylum. "Yes." "He's cute. I thought he was your brother." "I'm sorry." I offer a smile, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "It's okay." She returns the smile. "I must go now, maybe I'll see you again Danny." I watch her disappear into the crowd in front of us and for a moment I'm torn. I should have just spent time with her, she seemed lonely. Then again, everybody is lonely.
I return back to the rental property to indulge in a spa mask before packing to leave. This week has gone by so quickly. I'm not wanting to leave, but I'm wanting to return home. The peace and quite has been lovely. Nobody has been around to annoy and aggravate me. The week off has been just what I've needed. I've been more relaxed, I've smiled, did quite a bit of soul searching and more importantly, got a lot of work done. Maybe I should plan another week away; have something to look forward to rather than blowing my top. I lay back dreaming of holidays, me time and Chubbs.
Susan says goodbye to me as she gets off the bus and tells me that she'll look me up. It sounds like I'm setting myself up to get a sugar mama or she's wanting a sugar baby, but I can assure you that's not the case. Well, it's true for me. She did tell me that the next time I'm in the area I could stay at her house...Well, now. I mull over the thought and the offer in my head. I don't think she's married. Christ, what am I doing exploring these thoughts? I love Chubbs and that's not gonna change. I'm not interested in her or anyone else in that way. I ride into Kennedy Plaza and catch the trolly bus out to the zoo. I'm left alone to ponder my thoughts along to melodies of Placebo. Once again I ride alone to the all the way of the line and hop off ready to safari.
The zoo is packed with mothers and kids. I stick out like a sore thumb. They must think I'm some kind of weirdo; I'm clutching a digital camera and Pork Chop. We get out tickets and step into a Jack-O-Lantern wonderland. It's amazing. I wasn't expecting it to be so consuming. Bales of hay and cornstalks wrap around small tents for beverages and snacks that will be served at nightfall during the main event. I've always found autumn, particularly the Halloween season erotic (don't read into that) and I need to focus on not looking like a pervert with all these kids running around. The first stop is the zebras. I've never seen one in life before. I want to touch them, but I know I can't. Pork Chop and I lean as close to them as we can and I start to take photos. Damn, they've got big asses. There's nothing really protecting people from the animals, just a thin chainlink fence. I could jump over this...There's no one around. I could get better shots up close.I'm adjusting the lens on my Nikon when a voice appears at my shoulder. "I don't want to be rude, but you are probably the most tattooed person I've ever seen." I look over to see a woman in her late 50's with a bright smile. She's pushing a baby carriage with one of the cutest kids I've ever seen."Oh, haha, thank you! I have more that you can't see. I've almost got a body suit." Her daughter joins us in conversation as the kids are mesmerised by the animals. They ask me what I'm doing in Providence and I tell them about the doughnuts. I don't know why, but they're the thing that comes to mind. "Bye, cutie!" I wave to the little boy and head down the path to the cheetas. I've never seen one of these in life before either. I look up into the tree and see one lazing about, his tail twirled. He's so beautiful. I want one. I wish they had more of them. I know I should be more focused on the animals, it being a zoo, but the Halloween decorations have my attention. I'm so thrilled that we came in October. Best month ever.
Pork Chop and I head up the hill to a little rest area where there's a little plastic elephant that parents can take photos of their kids with. I wait in the shadows until the families taking photos finish up and move onto another exhibit before I set Pork Chop on the elephant's leg to take a few photos. I must look like a complete lunatic out here taking photos with a small plush toy, but I'm having too much fun to care. I'm brimming with excitement. I don't know if it's somehow a second day of the live show high or the Halloween atmosphere but I'm feeling a gladness that I've not felt in years. I feel alive. We climb the small hill to check out the sea lions. The cool blue of the water is so refreshing, so inviting and I'm so hot I want to dive into it. I think that might get me thrown out or arrested. I'm tempted to risk it but before I can scale the little barrier a pack of children run up screaming that they want to see the sea lions. And the day was going to peacefully too. "I don't see them!" "They're not in the water! Where are they?" "There they are! They're up on land! Ew, what hey doing?" I know exactly where this is going and rather than stick around and watch some kind of sea lion porn, Pork Chop and I head down the hill and into the Barn Yard area. This was something I wasn't expecting. Why would they have farm animals at a zoo?
There's a petting zoo area and it feels like I'm back at the Big E again. So many children are clamoured around the animals. I feel bad for them. I'd hate to have all these kids grabbing at me, shoving their dirty little hands filled with sawdust pellets at me. I don't partake in the petting zoo here, but I am drawn to an emo alpaca. He reminds me of someone who means the world to me and I can't help but crack a smile as I take a photo to show Abby. The alpaca's messy, dark curly hair looks so soft. He walks over to me and stretches his head out, asking to be pet. It's as soft as it looks. He looks up at me and I look down at him. We share a moment.
I wave goodbye to emo alpaca and head on to see the flamingos and the monkeys. I race into the monkey area only to find one angry looking monkey and nothing else. Where the fuck is everybody? I look around. They only have one monkey. What gives?! What kind of zoo only has one monkey? He's hiding in the upper part of a cage that he shares with a fat little bird with a curl. I want to steal the bird. I know just what I'll call him. Pudgers cause he reminds me of Chubbs. Fuming at the lack of monkeys, I leave the encloser only to realise the sloth wasn't in there either. I re-read the sign and it says he lives there too. I love sloths. What the fuck is the deal here? One monkey, no lions, sloth is gone, farm animals? The pumpkins are the one saving grace of the day.
Pork Chop and I snake through the Jack-O-Lantern walk. So many spooky faces, images and designs peer back at us. I can't wait to get our own pumpkin to carve. Last year I carved a pumpkin spiced latte into one. I have no idea what I'm going to do this year. Ah, I need to figure out a time to head to a pumpkin patch and get a pumpkin. It's no fun to just get one from a shop. My brain is starting to fry and I think it's time that Pork Chop and I take our leave. There's nothing else here to do and I'm starting to get bored. Later Zoo.
We treck up the hill and to the bus stop. I'm swinging him around in the air humming the Nirvana cover of Lake of fire when a thin, pretty blonde woman approaches me. "Excuse me, do you have change for a five dollar note?" Her accent is so familiar. "Where are you from?" "Munich." "I love Munich! I had a great time there!" I don't have change but I pay for both of us to get on the bus as it makes no sense for her to waste money if she's only going to be in the area for the day. We chat the entire 40 minutes from the zoo into the city centre, people glancing as we chat in rapid German. We share our travel stories and talk about the cities in Germany we've been to. She's been to several of the ones I've been to. Normally, I'm shy and I'm always self-conscious of my stomach, but I pull up my shirt to show her the Magdeburg skyline etched into my lower abdomen. She giggles. "Wow." I don't know if she likes the tattoo or if she's making fun of me. I suddenly feel a bit shy and I pull my shirt down. "I just love the city. It's so lovely, I really miss it there." Things are going well until we pull into Kennedy Plaza. "Do you have any recommendations of places to go?" My mind goes blank. Think, Dan. Think. I remember some of the things Spider Boob Woman told me the evening that I arrived in Providence. I spit them out and point out the places that I'd adventured to earlier in the week, telling her all about the shops I'd been in. "Do you have any plans or do you want to maybe go out with me?" The colour drains out of me and onto the pavement. My voice is caught in my throat so I struggle to get the words out. "What?" "You know, go out with me?" I think of Chubbs and my heart starts to bleed. "I have a boyfriend." "Oh, the boy on your phone?" I can't explain the entire situation without making it sound like I belong on Jeremy Kyle or in some of asylum. "Yes." "He's cute. I thought he was your brother." "I'm sorry." I offer a smile, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "It's okay." She returns the smile. "I must go now, maybe I'll see you again Danny." I watch her disappear into the crowd in front of us and for a moment I'm torn. I should have just spent time with her, she seemed lonely. Then again, everybody is lonely.
I return back to the rental property to indulge in a spa mask before packing to leave. This week has gone by so quickly. I'm not wanting to leave, but I'm wanting to return home. The peace and quite has been lovely. Nobody has been around to annoy and aggravate me. The week off has been just what I've needed. I've been more relaxed, I've smiled, did quite a bit of soul searching and more importantly, got a lot of work done. Maybe I should plan another week away; have something to look forward to rather than blowing my top. I lay back dreaming of holidays, me time and Chubbs.
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