THUG LIFE
Hey, Guys!
So I was talking to Peaches the other day and she was like, "Well if you ever can't continue writing or cleaning crime scenes finally gets to you, you can always start your own protective services company." I asked her what the fuck and she said, "You look like a thug. A brute. A criminal." The look I gave her could have melted a hole in the pavement. "The fuck's that mean?" "A few of your friends have said it before...oh yeah, intimidating is what they said! You know, because of all your tattoos and your piercings!" "How does that tie into me protecting anything?" "Criminals afford other criminals the space to do their crimes, have their own turf." I nodded to know I was listening. "You could call it a sort of professional courtesy." What the fuck is this? She really thinks I look thuggish? Well, as if that weren't the only dent in the car, my mate Jess shared similar sentiments. "You look intimidating with your piercings. You look like someone who you just don't want to mess with." I think these two may have a secret friendship behind my back. *Cue suspicious piano playing*
Anyway, back to Peaches and her idea. "So, like you could pretend that you're moving in next door, hang around in Kensington or wherever and flex your shit. Let the scumbags see you, you all can sniff each other out, like with dogs!" I didn't bother to stop her, she already painted me as some kind of gangbanger. I decided to hear the rest of her pitch. "And you can stay at the posh people's houses while they're on holiday, lounge around or whatever it is you do when you're not cleaning up fluids or writing smut." 'Cleaning the house, cooking your fucking tea.' Came to mind but I wanted to hear how it ends. "I can sit in an office and do all the accounting and business type stuff while you do the muscle stuff. If I get stuck, then you can help me." What the hell kind of business is this? "Let me get this straight, you want me just to crack my knuckles in a few rich neighbourhoods so that my "associates" as you call them won't nick shit and you collect money for it?" "Uh,huh."
And now that I've gotten the new throat tattoo, she's even more for the idea. "Now that you've got that massive throat tattoo like all those gang-bangers you really can intimidate without having to work at it." I was so done with her and when I did the "I'm so done" face she's like, "You know you like it, Dano." I couldn't hold it together. I started laughing and fell off the bed. While I may not looking to get a gold grill, I'm always looking for ways to increase my customer pool and expand my businesses. Who knows? You might see an add of mine in the METRO one morning on your way to work.
"Are you posh with lots of high-end merchandise? Don't trust the new neighbours?
Think that someone is casing your home, looking for the prime time to break in and take
what their hearts desire? Fear no more. Thug Life for hire has got your back, not your property.
Ring for details. Cash Payments Only."
Sorry I've not been as on top with blogs as I've been in the past. Just hit a few rough patches lately and it's been hard to blog or do other things outside the project I'm currently working on.
ALSO! LITTLE BY LITTLE IS NOW OUT! YOU CAN GET YOUR COPY HERE VIA BLURB! MORE RETAILERS WILL BE LAUNCHING! AMAZON HAS BEEN DELAYED! I'M WORKING ON GETTING THEM UP ASAP! PROBABLY NO LATER THAN THIS FRIDAY! AS THEY OPEN UP I'LL BE UPDATING ALL OF YOUR GUYS! THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU GIVE ME HERE ON MY BLOG AND BY BUYING/SHARING MY WORKS.
YOU CAN GET YOUR COPY HERE:
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/invited/6824510/d4f6c5d44a80381cfee1b62f47dba4d190ab6d5e?utm_medium=s
AND YOU CAN GET YOUR LITTLE BY LITTLE / LUST INSPIRED GEAR HERE VIA SICKBOY MERCH! NEW PRODUCTS WILL BE GOING UP SOON! KEEP AN EYE OUT! YOU CAN ALWAYS WRITE IN YOUR SUGGESTIONS TO SEE THEM ON TEES / HOODIES.
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