DOLLAR STORE DRUG TEST!

I think it's time that I do a little bit of a humorous and uplifting blog, seeing as the other three that I have in the works and nearly completed. I wanted to experiment and see if an at-home drug test for marijuana from the dollar store would work. I have a dollar store not too far from my house, so I figured, 'What the fuck? It's only a dollar. If it fails, it fails.' I already knew that I was going to have THC in my system; I've been using heavily every day now since the middle of October. Actually, I think there was a week or two that I didn't eat or smoke pot. I guess I was just too depressed to go out and do it. I think that was the week that I reached out to my therapist and psychopharmacologist. Probably, I'd have to look back on my notes.
I had half of the dark Belgian chocolate that I got from Mass Alternative Caring (link will be left in the bottom of the blog) and sat back waiting for the ride to begin. I got super high and enjoyed myself. I listened to some of my favourite music and was able to dance around free of the weight of my suicidal thoughts. I felt like I could do anything like I was on top of the world. I was completely free. Then the memories started flooding back on me and I became a little overwhelmed. Thankfully, when I get this high, usually not long after, I fall asleep. I've been needing sleep like no tomorrow. I feel restless when I sleep. Even with the marijuana and the clonazepam. Tossing and turning have become my usual. I'm so relieved that I'm taking a medical leave from work to try and get myself back together. I will probably just chronical that privately, but I'm not really sure.
I wake up the next morning ready to do the test. I'm anxious to see if it's gonna work or not. There's some good dollar store shit and then there's the bad shit. (Think Poundland...Goddamn, I miss spending time in those shops, just wandering for ages, all the junky stuff...now it makes me sad realising that it will probably all go into the landfill, clog the planet and be a complete waste of money. Do other people think like this and start to cry or is this just a depressive person thing?)  

I read the instructions and set up the testing area. 1 clean up. One pee strip test. One clean dry area to set said dippy stick on once it's been dipped and a timer to make sure that I've submerged the strip long enough for it to get a reading, but not too long as to mess with the results. All I have to do now is pee, but be careful not to pee too much. If there's too much wee in the cup, then it can mess up the reading. I wait until the end of my piss to catch the amount needed for this little experiment; it hurts when I have to stop in the middle of a wee, so that wasn't happening.
Now that I got that out of the way, it's time to open up the package. I'm careful when I open the little green package because it says there's a small strip inside. Ripped won't work. I set the timer for 10 seconds and submerge the strip to the max line and hold it in the wee for the full amount of time. Once the alarm rings off, I take the strip out and set it on the box to see if there's any chemical change in the strip. It's the moment of truth. I look down and the entire strip is a pale pink. I don't know what that means. It's going to take a minute or two to actually produce the results. The box lists the amount of time it should take, but I can't remember. 

I check every few seconds and I watch one area of the pink start to darken. It looks like it's working! It takes about 5 minutes for the results to be clear and concise on the strip. It's fucking positive. OH MYH GOD. It worked. A dollar store product worked! I mean, it could have worked because of a fluke or because I had just consumed marijuana about 12 hours before. Maybe I should do another test after a few days of not using any THC infused products to see if the results change; as you know the drug stays in your system for up to 90 days. I think I might do a second round of this.
As you can see in the picture below the little pink strip that stands for a positive result. Negative would be two little pink lines and one way below would mean there was an issue with the test and the results are invalid. I dunno why this experiment amused me the way that it did. I've never really done anything like this and I thought it would be fun.

I know that I have edible blogs that I do and write about them and trying various strains, but for some reason, this blog has me kind of worried my employer will see this and he'll fire me or try to have me fired over this. I mean I did tell him that I planned on getting baked over one of the holidays, so he did know, but maybe it's just paranoia or my anxiety (yes, they are different) creeping up on me as I'm starting my week of mental health medical leave. I'd like to make it clear that any blogs that I post about edibles or pre-rolls were written before I've taken leave or I'm just finishing bits and pieces now. I've had very little time to myself so it looks like I'm writing more than I actually am. Behind the scenes magic kids.