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Tattoo Talk Thursday: The Ribbon On My Hand





Today I'd like to talk about a tattoo that has a lot of personal meaning for me. Sure, almost all of my tattoos have a story and a meaning, but this one is probably one of the most meaningful tattoos that I have. It's my self-harm awareness ribbon.
I was in Tampa, Florida at Christmas 2014 when I got the piece done. I was looking for something small that would fill in the small amount of space that I had on my left hand.  I thought about something that would not only express me but would allow me to be more open in everyday life about my mental health. I didn't want to have to hide everything from everyone. I wanted to get a piece that would be an ice-breaker, a conversation piece. Then I realised I could get a cause ribbon for mental health. I'd seen so many ribbon tattoos for breast cancer, the puzzle pieces for autism awareness, so I figured why couldn't I get one for mental health? I'd been involved in a few mental health fundraisers and charities and I thought getting a cause ribbon would be a great way to raise awareness and answer questions about mental illness.
Then I was faced with the question of, are there even ribbons for mental health? And to my surprise, I found out that there are tonnes of different coloured ribbons for mental health! I had to research what colours would apply to me because in some instances the ribbon colour for a cause will differ depending on the country. I found out that the green ribbon signifies not only just mental health awareness/ mental illness awareness but awarness for certain mental illness; The illnesses include: depression, manic depression &BiPolardisorderr (also known as manic depression.) There are other awareness ribbons for certain mental health conditions. Teal is for dissociative disorders, anxiety, agoraphobia (a specific form of anxiety), panic disorder, OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), purple for ADD (attention deficit disorder) & ADHD (attention deficit-hyperactive disorder ), periwinkle for eating disorders (both bulimia, anorexia, binge eating and ENDO- non-categorised eating disorder-) silver for schizophrenia. I also found out there are also multi-coloured ribbons for mental-health! Purple-teal or blue-purple is the ribbon for suicide awareness and a multi-coloured quilt patterned ribbon for dissociative identity disorder awareness.

Then I found the orange ribbon. The self-harm awareness ribbon. I thought this would be the perfect one. At the time I'd struggled with self-harm for over 10 years (I started self-harming when I was 11 years old) and I wanted to, in my own way, reach out and find acceptance. I didn't want certain aspects of my behaviour to any longer be taboo. I didn't want something that would just label me bipolar or depressed because I'm not defined by a diagnosis, but I have been defined by my self-harm. For better or for worse, it's been my comfort, my strength, my best friend and my confidant. It's been a really incredible journey with the various self-injurious behaviours that I've engaged in during the past 15 years of my life, and in that moment in Tampa, I knew that's the ribbon that I wanted to tell my story of mental health.
I found a tattoo shop inside of a shopping centre that had a good reputation. ((Normally, I'd say no to a tattoo shop inside of a fucking shopping centre, but the reviews were amazing and when I checked it out, the shop was immaculate and had great portfolio books.)) Sadly, I can't remember the name of the studio, but if I remember it, I will link it in an update of the blog or via Twitter. I don't remember the bloke's name either, but he had a funny nickname. Something like Falcon or some other sort of bird of prey, which was interesting since he didn't even remotely look like one. He was rather good-looking now that I think about it. 

We decided to do with no solid outline. Just do the entire thing shaded. We both thought the black outline that most tattoos have wouldn't look good with the tones of orange that both he and I wanted. He mixed up a violent red-orange colour for the darker shading and a rather poppy orange for the main colour of the ribbon.
He got the stencil on in one go and we set to work within 15 minutes of me signing the paperwork at the desk. The studio was bright and roomy, unlike most of the shops that I'd been in. I think it still holds the prize for the biggest shop. No, Stingray Body Art in Boston where I got my upside down cross done is. Maybe I should do one on that...the artist there was hilarious and looks like Vincent D' Onofrio. I almost screamed when I met him. Anyway, that's a story for another time! 
He outlined the entire tattoo with the lighter orange slowly and carefully. I think he was more afraid he'd muck up the tattoo than hurt me. Pain is expected in tattoos. This kind of tattoo, especially on a hand is difficult work and I think he managed brilliantly. It's been almost 3 years and it still looks amazing except for one teeny area which is kind of to be expected. He layered on the reddish-orange which appeared redder when I first got it done, but I was happy with the final product. Still am. He asked me why I was going with a ribbon on my hand and I told him what it meant and why I was getting it. He told me that it was cool that I wanted to express myself that way and stand up for the cause. I remember feeling a little awkward; I'd always found it so much harder to talk about my mental health or my self-harming in person. It still is difficult for me.
 We didn't bandage it since it would be difficult to and I left the shop feeling like I'd achieved something. I was becoming more open and not hiding behind things with my tattoos. In a way, this was my self-harming coming out. I mean, tonnes of people knew from my earlier myspace (cringe) blogs, but this was a way for me to kind of be me. 

 I have other tattoos that are a reference to my struggles with mental health and I might do another blog on them at some point in time. I think the next one we'll do something a little more upbeat. 

What is self-harm?
Self-harm is the conscious act, intentional act of damaging one's own body without having a suicidal intent; it means the person is harming themselves but not in an act of suicide. Most commonly the term self-harm is associated with cutting the outer layers of skin with sharp objects such as razor blades, broken glass and scissors, though any other type of sharp instrument is used. Other types of self-harm include: biting, bone breaking, body/wrist banging, hair pulling or the injection/ ingesting of toxic/harmful substances and or objects.
Most self-harmers are portrayed as teenage girls, which is rather misleading, as males also suffer from compulsions to self-harm. It's not just a gender bias that's often portrayed in fictionalised portrayals or even documentation of self-harming behaviours; it's also ageism. Statistics across the UK show that almost 5.5% of the elderly patients seen have engaged in self-harming behaviours. We can't help those who are suffering if we don't see beyond the stereotypical portrayals and well, really biased coverage of the topic of self-harm.
Self-Harm is a worrying and increasing health crisis in the UK, with estimates of 400 out of every 1,000 persons self-harming. The UK has the highest rate of self-harming people in Europe and the statistic is probably much higher because there are so many instances of self-harm that go unreported.
There is a correlation with self-harmer and those who are suicidal, although the two are not always conjoined and can exist without the presence of the other. Some acts of self-harm can be seen as suicidal behaviour and or attempts in some cases, as some acts of self-harm can be evaluated as life-threatening despite the injure's intent at the time of inflicting the injury/injuries. Studies have shown that those who self-harm are an increased risk of suicide.

Self-harm is also known as self-mutilation, self-injury, deliberate self-harm and non-suicidal injury.

When is self-harm awareness day?
It is the first of March and is a world-wide self-harm awareness day.
The purpose of the ribbon/ self-harm awareness day is to educate people on what self-harm is, why it occurs and how they can be a support system for a person who does self-harm or is recovering from self-harm. Self-often comes hand in hand with mental illness or an illness that has affected the brain. The day is about encouraging people to be more open about their stories of self-harm and hopefully erase the stigma and misconceptions around self-harm.
For more information / support:
https://www.selfharm.co.uk/
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/self-harm/
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/
http://www.harmless.org.uk/
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/self-injury
https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Related-Conditions/Self-harm
https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-help-self-mutilation-help-and-support/
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