Delectables with Dan: KITKAT KAKE
Sorry, this is late! I planned on doing this blog the day after Halloween but things happened and I didn't have the time to...then I thought that I posted this. By now nobody has any leftover candy, so it's kind of a moot point to do this, but what the fuck. Let's make some cake.
You can make this cake using a golden yellow cake or a chocolate cake. It really doesn't matter. I went with vanilla because that's what I had left in the kitchen. I've been doing a lot of vanilla/white cake things lately for people. Anyway, you're going to prepare the cake mix as instructed on the box. If you so desire, cut up a few Kit-Kat into small bite-sized pieces and drop them into your batter and hand mix them in. **I forgot to do this, hence why there's no photo.**
Pour your batter into two well-greased cake baking tins and pop them in to bake at 180C (350F) for 20-23 minutes or until the tops are golden brown. Always make sure that your cake is fully baked before removing it from the oven. While your cake is chilling to perfection, We're going to make the chocolate Kit-Kat infused icing for the centre and the chocolate ganache drizzle for the top and sides.
To make the chocolate Kit-Kat centre icing you will need:
50g cocoa powder (not baking cocoa)
250g icing sugar
50g cocoa powder (not baking cocoa)
250g icing sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
2 tsp. cold milk
2 tsp. cold milk
2 tsp. butter (softened)
6 mini KitKats
6 mini KitKats
Combine your cocoa, icing sugar, butter, vanilla and milk in a medium-size mixing bowl and blend evenly. The mixture will be thick and spreadable if you've got it too thick add 1 tsp. milk or if it is too thin add 2 tsp of icing sugar. Remix. In a food processor, obliterate those fuckin' mini Kit-Kats. You want them to be almost dust, but not quite. Show them who's boss. Add them to the chocolate icing and mix with an icing spatula.
Once you've done that it's time to ice this little bastard. Make sure that your cakes are even before icing. Tip one on its head and ice its arse with the KitKat icing. Use big, long loving strokes when icing. Spread along the sides of the bottom of the cake. ((You should have some icing left over.)) Now, taking the other cake, press it's head firmly onto the iced arse of the other cake. Make believe that you're making a cake centipede. Actually, that's what all bakers do when they make more than a sheet cake...I know see where the creator of the Human Centipede gathered his inspiration from. I wonder if anyone has actually made that concept in cake form...I'm guessing probably judging by all the sick fucks on the internet.
You know, that reminds me. This isn't cake related but it has to do with baking kind of. I met this cunt on Twitter the other day and she tried to set me off over a cake. She was critiquing my baking blog and baking techniques and I was like, "Ex-squeeze me cunt, but I don't see any of your baking. If you're so good at it, let's see some of your talent." Then she showed me the most disgusting looking "cake" I've ever seen in my life. It was lopsided, the icing was running and I couldn't clearly make out what the fuck it was. Apparently, it was supposed to be some kind of animal for her kid's birthday. And me, being ragged out, I told her just what I thought about her creation. Sure, I could have gone with something better than, "It looks like what's left in the toilet after an evening at Taco Bell" but I wasn't in any kind of mood. She actually had the gall to tell me to go fuck myself. I laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat and told her that I do enjoy a good self-fucking. That pissed her off and she blocked me. LMAFO. Better get some butt-hurt salve for that.
Once you've done that it's time to ice this little bastard. Make sure that your cakes are even before icing. Tip one on its head and ice its arse with the KitKat icing. Use big, long loving strokes when icing. Spread along the sides of the bottom of the cake. ((You should have some icing left over.)) Now, taking the other cake, press it's head firmly onto the iced arse of the other cake. Make believe that you're making a cake centipede. Actually, that's what all bakers do when they make more than a sheet cake...I know see where the creator of the Human Centipede gathered his inspiration from. I wonder if anyone has actually made that concept in cake form...I'm guessing probably judging by all the sick fucks on the internet.
You know, that reminds me. This isn't cake related but it has to do with baking kind of. I met this cunt on Twitter the other day and she tried to set me off over a cake. She was critiquing my baking blog and baking techniques and I was like, "Ex-squeeze me cunt, but I don't see any of your baking. If you're so good at it, let's see some of your talent." Then she showed me the most disgusting looking "cake" I've ever seen in my life. It was lopsided, the icing was running and I couldn't clearly make out what the fuck it was. Apparently, it was supposed to be some kind of animal for her kid's birthday. And me, being ragged out, I told her just what I thought about her creation. Sure, I could have gone with something better than, "It looks like what's left in the toilet after an evening at Taco Bell" but I wasn't in any kind of mood. She actually had the gall to tell me to go fuck myself. I laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat and told her that I do enjoy a good self-fucking. That pissed her off and she blocked me. LMAFO. Better get some butt-hurt salve for that.
Right, back to the cake making. We're going to make a nice chocolate ganache to glaze the top of the cake with. It's not rocket science like some people think it is.
To make the chocolate ganache you will need:
1/2 tsp vanilla
To make the chocolate ganache you will need:
1/2 tsp vanilla
240 ml double cream
75g cocoa powder
56g caster sugar
(you can use granulated sugar if you don't have caster sugar)
In a small saucepan heat your double cream until it's just about boiling. YOU DO NOT WANT IT TO BOIL. Constantly stir your cream while heating it. Make sure that your cocoa powder is sifted before adding it to the cream. Quickly remove from heat and whisk in ingredients and pour over the cake. Allow it to create a waterfall effect over the sides of the cake. Evenly coat the entire surface and if need be, taking an icing spatula smooth the top of the cake so it's a nice even chocolate glaze.
And there we have it. A Kit-Kat Kake! I'd love to do a green tea KitKat kate, we'll have to see how that goes. I don't even know where I'd order them from. If you know please let me know or link me so I can see about doing one of them. Or the strawberry Kit-Kats so I can try a strawberry one. If I can get them it won't be until after the holidays, so don't hold me to any sort of schedule. I don't even know where I'll be after the holidays.
Next month is going to be a big one for Delectables with Dan! I've got a bunch of things that I can't wait to unleash, but I'll talk more about that as we get closer toward the end of this month. Keep your eyes out on both of my Twitters, Delectables with Dan and darkdreamingdan.
Thanks for all the support!
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dandelectables/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanDelectables
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dandelectables/
Comments
Post a Comment