The Birthday Box

I got an early gift from my best mate, okay really early, but I was excited. (Let's be real, I can't wait for things, I can be an impatient bastard.) He tortured me for weeks about what it is. Giving me clues and hints to try and figure out what he got me; they were so vague I doubt that even Stephen Hawking could have strung all the clues together to find out what it was. After weeks of begging, me struggling and getting pissed to figure out what it was, he told me. I screamed so loud my sister thought I was having some sort of a stroke. It has to be the best and coolest gift I've ever gotten. I'd have just been happy with his company and a slice of pizza but this- it blew my mind.

He was away when the package showed up, but I was at his house hanging out with his roommate who I'm friends with. He's got this neat little tracker for packages on his phone so he knows the SECOND-and I mean the fucking second the package touches down on the doorstep. I'd fallen asleep on his couch and missed his first call so he started ringing again. Me, thinking there was an emergency answered the phone having been jolted awake, adrenaline pouring through my veins. "Get the package, it's arrived." I was flooded with relief something hadn't happened to him but rattled about being woken up until I realised it was THE PACKAGE. I jumped off the couch, pulled the door open and saw that beautiful box perched on the porch. He sent me to wake up Pickles who was mumbling about getting up. Neither of us wanted to wait for her ass. I cut through the packing tape slowly so I wouldn't damage the contents.  Upon opening it, I snapped him a picture so he could see, despite us still being on the phone together. I'm a quiet guy. I have trouble verbally expressing emotions; I prefer to put them in writing. (It has something to do with my growing up.) My hands were shaking as I pulled each ELTON FUCKING JOHN Funko Pop out of the box and removed the protective wrapping around each one. He'd gotten me the entire set. I couldn't believe it. I know he told me what he got me and showed me a screenshot of the order, I just couldn't believe I was holding them in my hands. Of course, I'd have to wait for them to check them out before I could take them home. I could wait one more day for this.

ONE DAY LATER

I got invited over to hang out, bring over the Dapper Sally pop that I'd gotten for him earlier that day whilst at the shopping centre and to pick up my Eltons. Upon arriving at his house, I handed him his pop and he was all grins. I assumed it was because of Dapper Sally, but no. He gleefully pointed to a box on the floor that read "Happy Birthday, Dan" and a note saying it was from him and Pickles. It had so much tape on it that I didn't even know what. He'd retaped the box that I'd opened the day before and sealed that box within an inch of its life. You'd have thought there was Ebola in there. I figured I could just take it home and have at it with my box cutter. Nope. He wanted to watch me open it there. I should have known. He's a prankster and loves mischief. Using scissors would be cheating and since I didn't have my box cutter in my bag, I was on my own. I clawed and chewed my way through the box to find it was filled with packing material, plastic bags and...another box. That cheeky git put the pops in another box that he'd also sealed the shit out of and used zip ties on. While I chewed through the tape on the second box he cheerfully informed me that he's going to have to top himself at Christmas time. I'll have to be prepared for that one. 

Not gonna lie, it was a bit of a struggle to chew through both boxes to get to the prize, but the laughter and banter was well worth it. I'm looking forward to seeing what he does for the next round. Maybe I should do a similar thing to mess with him like he messed with me. You all don't need to ask, of course, the Elton collection gets its own pop shelf up high where filthy little hands can't touch them.

On a pop note, I realised that I now have 33 of them. It took me a month to collect 33 of them and I have a list of at least 30 more pops that I want to get. He's turned me into a pop addict and I couldn't be more thrilled.