Danny Goes To Work: The Christmas Eve Special

They're making me work the closing shift on Christmas Eve knowing the buses don't run on that day, especially at that hour. Those cocksuckers. My rage is boiling under my skin as I read the schedule. Oh, what in the name of Christ? I'm going 7 more hours on Boxing Day? I'm used to being shit on, but this is just beyond the pale. It feels like I'm always at that place and for what? I'll play along with their games. I'll show up and be fake festive while deep inside, I'm bleeding. I know everything is bullshit anyway. I'm prepared for Chrimbo madness armed with my traditional plain black t-shirt paired with some Christmas Corgi leggings. ((And who said I can't be festive??)) I'm not knowing what to expect in online orders and logistics, but thankfully when I get in, I'm told that I'll be doing all the web exclusive merchandise. Purging out all of the October merchandise and putting it on final clearance markdown, moving and locating all of the November merchandise, in addition to the December and any January that's come in. Thank God. I'll get to hide in the back for the entire day. I have very little human interaction for the entire day. 

I look at the clock and see that there are 2 hours left in the shift and the store is pretty much dead. I'm tired of wearing these leggings. Knowing who's there for management, I know it's safe to change into my jammies and continue all the web-ex stuff I've been doing or do online things in the back. I change into my Christmas dinosaur jim-jams and eclipse t-shirt. I wonder how long it will take for them to notice that I've changed my clothes. They don't until I draw it to one of the manager's attention. He's not bothered as long as I'm productive which I almost always am. All the orders are packed, all the merchandise is logged. There are a few units that need to be picked and processed so I  put my earbuds in and figure I'll just grab them, pack them and be done with it; it will be less work for me when I return on Boxing Day. (I was wrong.) I wander through the pretty much deserted store with Rammstein blaring in my ears. I'm much better at finding things when customers aren't asking me about things on sale. The music helps me think; it's like having another sense. 

I'm on my way back with merchandise when a little Asian woman wanders out from the shoe rows clutching two boxes. I think nothing of her as a co-worker is going to assist her. I pack the products and being a nosey cunt, poke my head out of the stockroom door to see what's going down. It's almost time to close the store for the night. Internally I'm doing cartwheels; I just want to go home and drink myself to sleep. Fucking Christmas. I see Rosie is having an issue with the woman, and I know the shoe department kind of well, having filled in here and there over the past few months. I tell her I know what she wants and agree to help her. Rosie runs away leaving me to deal with the woman who can barely speak English. "You have this pink in children's 6?" I scan the box and inform her that we have none in stock. "You sure?" "Yes." "How?" "I work in the back." "You real sure?" "We don't stock the 6 in the store; you can order it online." "I buy here before." "That was then, this is now." I'm starting to get annoyed with this woman. "We have it in white for women or the traditional black converse. Those are your choices in that size." She looks at the box and to me. "So you no have pink?" "Not in that size." "What if they no fit?" "Then you can return them and get the proper size." It's like common sense is void here.

She looks at me, to the box then asks me about ordering them for her now. I'm pissed off now. "No. If you really want them, you can come back when the store is open on Boxing Day. The store is about to close. You have five minutes to make all your final purchases." "You rude!" She hasn't seen rude yet. "Yes, well, we'd all like to go home. We all don't just exist here for your every whim." "But if I come back the next day my coupon will be no good! You no take it!" I look at the coupon. "We don't take those off Converse. Or Vera Wang." I add eyeing her other package. "You lie!" She's done it now. "If I really wanted to lie to you, I'd tell you that you were a beautiful woman. Now take the boxes up to the till and pay for them or leave the shit here and go home! Your choice." That doesn't sit well with her. She goes to argue with me and I tell her that she has to leave the store is closed. I wave goodbye as I escort her to the door, reminding her that she can come back when the store opens and that I'd be happy to help her with her kiosk order, but that the coupon wouldn't work no matter when or where she tried it. I close the door behind her and sigh in relief. Only a half hour left. I don't know why I have to stay a half hour after the store's closed. I pack up the final orders and get them ready to be picked up when we re-open the next day. I couldn't believe what I'd experienced with the coupon lady.
But she was nothing compared to the woman who tried to pay with government assistance benefits the day before. She had a trolly full of shite and when I rang her out she prepared to pay and whipped out a benefits card! I told her that we don't accept that as a form of payment; that we accept all major credit and debit cards, checks with proper identification and of course, cash. She looked so offended. I almost was in a state of disbelief. She asked me what I could do to help her out. I told her that I could have her items held at customer service if she didn't have other forms of payment on her or I could help her put all that shit back. she wasn't happy but she pulled out a debit card. I can't even with some of these people. They should have their benefits denied. Fucking a! I don't pay taxes so these system abusers can head out and try and buy Nike for their kids! Nope. Nope. Nope. 

All in all, it was an interesting shift. JimJams, good music, tossing a customer out. I wish more shifts could be like this.