Facebook Quizzes vs Danny Take Two

There are times when I, an intellectual, get stuck in the hole that is Facebook quizzes. If I remember correctly, about a year ago, last March or so (really, don't hold me to this my memory of the last year has about 17-20 things in it) I did a blog about some of my interesting Facebook quizzes. I really don't know why I do this to myself; I get frustrated and bewildered at 95% of the shit I read on these quizzes...Let's delve into a world of the worst kind of depravity, the world of Facebook quizzes.

Quiz 1: What is your worth in bitcoins?
What the everlasting Christ fuck is a bitcoin? What is the purpose of these things? Are they like real money or just some made up internet currency? Nothing would surprise me these days. Are they like some dirty underground thing? What is 6,666 (I like the 666 bit) bitcoins in real money? Let's see... 

Holy fuckin' shit. Now I'm 100% sure this quiz is crap. If I had a value like that I wouldn't think that getting a Tesco frozen pizza is such a big deal. £67,792,449....I think I'd buy my own island and keep everybody out. Well, I have to be realistic, I'd have a doctor there and like housing for mates to visit. I'd call it "DannyLand" or "Danielville" or maybe just "Narcissistic Ass Town" 

I think I should move on before I start drawing up blueprints for my private island. Let's see here. Things that make me different quiz. Oh dear Lord. This outta be a gem of an experience. Let's see what we got here. "Has a positive outlook on life?" Hello. I'm like the grim fucking reaper most days and honestly, most times I'm not all that grateful. I work for what I have most times and put up with a lot of shit, so excuse me for not being grateful for everything. And sometimes, you don't have to be gravelling and snivelling with gratitude.  Extremely attractive? Now I know they're just blowing smoke up my arse. Trying to butter me up so I'll spend money on their stupid quiz site no doubt. I am pretty funny most times and I am a clever bloke so I'll take those...I'll take them to the bank too.

Quiz 2:
7 Things That Make You Different 

Quiz 3: What Colour Is Your Personality?
 If my heart was large enough to encase the world, you can bet your boots I'd have an appointment with a cardiologist. Some of the language they use on these things are just moronic. And Pink? PINK? I may be insightful, but everyone in my inner circle would describe me as gruff, immoral, soulless, rough, sarcastic, bitter and a rageaholic. That's more of a red or maybe even a grey because when I love, I love passionately. Yes. I'm a very contradictory creature.



Quiz 4: What Are You Good, Bad & Amazing At? 

I know that's not true. Sometimes I don't listen worth a tinker's fuck. I just zone on out. If I'm interested in something then I listen like it's going out of style. I'm actually pretty damn good at being dishonest, I've made a lot of money that way. God, could they have chosen photos that were even older for the first two?! 2010 and 2011. Ages ago...It feels like half a lifetime ago if I'm honest. I do pride my hair colouring skills though. My natural is a chocolate brown on top and black underneath and I went from that to the white there at home. Oh yeah. I did the ice blue too, I think I was in Köln when I did that...or Leipzig. Two cities I love dearly, one of which I have tattooed on me...but I got that done in LA at True Tattoo. (The one that's owned by Olver Peck.) 

Quiz 5: Don't Remember What It's Called! 

Good at saving money? Have they actually seen my bank book? It looks like the last days of Rome most of the time for fuck's sake. I got a check the other day for £100 and what did I do? I lived it up like I was fuckin Christian Grey. Again with the good listening thing. They haven't talked to most of the girls I talk to because most of them will tell me that I listen like someone with ah earing problem. My forehead means that I'm going to be successful? Well given my current situation the utter failures that sometimes keep me awake at night, I highly doubt that. Though I do share a forehead with my doofus and he's rather successful. They must have mixed us up here.


Warm-hearted? Not so much, but I do have a higher than average body temperature. Anyone who's ever slept with me says it's like sleeping with a space heater or a portable heater. It's the funniest thing to me. I'll do a few more of these before I end it. End it like, ending the blog, not end it like kill myself. Maybe next weekend. Never Say Never. Anyway, number...six? Yeah, six! 

Quiz 6: How Old Are You Based On Your Photo?
Well, it's not a full face photo, but I do get asked for my ID about half the time when I buy alcohol so that's a good sign. Acts like a 30-year-old? Right...My best mate would be quicker to say a 30 month old not a 30 year old. Looks 24? Two years off my age? Shit, I'll take that. Who wouldn't? I don't really know how a quiz like this calculates how I act or how I think based off a goddamn photo. I know it's relying on stereotypical statistics and preconceived notions, but that's not the best way to make a guess.



And let's wrap this up with one last quiz here.
What is your instruction manual?

I think Facebook might be trying to tell me that I'm an alcoholic. Is this sort of new age digital intervention through pure entrapment? I don't have an alcohol problem; I have an 'I'm surrounded by fucking assholes' problem.' Though I probably would break someone's leg, especially if they touched my pre-mixed White Russians. Those are fucking life. Or my pre-mixed margaritas. I'm a friendly guy and I share, but not that.



I hope you guys enjoyed this little break on here! I've had a few requests to do Tumblr asks again so be sure to keep an eye out for those! If you want me to do another Facebook quizzes blog, let me know either in the comments or by liking the post/tweet! Have quiz suggestions? Comment them! I'm always looking for other things to do on here!