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Delectables with Dan: Come Taste My Succulent Strawberry.....🍓


All the links to everything used can be found down below if you can't get them at your 
local grocery store. Some of the things I knew I'd have a hard time finding, so my lazy ass just
Amazon'd everything for the most part. I altered the recipe to reduce the amount of sugar, cause I'm not a guy who loves a lot of sweet. I wanna taste flavours, not sugar. You can follow the exact recipe or follow my version. 

YOU WILL NEED:
2 packages of Golden Oreos
5 tablespoons of melted lite melted butter substitute
Roughly 4 pints of sugar-free vanilla ice cream (I didn't particularly measure it as I scooped it. It was one standard UK size tub of ice cream.
2 (500ml) containers of Yoo Moo Strawberry frozen yoghurt. 
1 box of sugar-free strawberry gelatin


ONE
First, we're gonna make the base of the ice cream cake. And just like the cheerleader pyramid, you want to make sure that your base will hold up under the weight of the others, or in this case, two layers of ice cream and the crumble topping. You're going to empty one package of Golden Oreos into the food processor with 4 tablespoons of semi-melted lite butter spread.

I fucking HATE this food processor. If I were a superhero, it would be my kryptonite. I can never get the top to link into the piece it needs to to make the fudging thing work. And we're gonna bring the blade down the lowest setting. Drop it like it's hot.  ((Yes, I know that the butter sub says that it shouldn't be used in baking or freezing, but I've never had any sort of a problem with it.)) I managed to get its top on and blend it down into a thick mixture. It was a little more liquid than I expected. It was kind of like a sweet diarrhoea substance. Not the most appetising of things to read, especially when you're reading a food blog, but I've never been a man of tact. I added 2 tablespoons of flour to the mixture to give it a bit more body. (Thicc 👌🏻) 



You're going to need to line your pan with baking parchment, but I didn't have any (I fuckin forgot) so I used aluminium foil and sprayed with a non-stick cooking spray. Worked out good in the end, not 100% but I'd give it a good 95%. Though next time I make this I'll be using baking parchment. Spread your base mixture into the bottom of the pan, making sure that it's spread evenly and completely coats the entire bottom. Put into freeze for 20 minutes. During this time allow your VANILLA ice cream to soften. After 20 minutes remove cookie base from freezer and begin to scoop ice cream onto the base. Spread the vanilla ice cream out and completely cover it, kind of like when you're spooging on someone's chest. And remembering this will help you with the urge to lick your fingers. 


Once you have covered your base you're going to stick it back into the freezer to harden up for 20-25 minutes. Make sure that your strawberry ice cream or in this case frozen yoghurt is soft before adding the layer to the vanilla one. This probably might be the only time I've ever said I didn't want anything hard in my kitchen. Spread the strawberry layer, completely covering the vanilla layer below. Engulf  it. Love it. Smother it. Don't worry if it's muffin topping over the sides, you want that. You want it to be thicc and tasty. 


Allow to freeze for a good 4-5 hours before adding the cookie-gelatin mixture. You can make it up in advance like I did. Empty half of a package of Golden Oreos into a large mixing bowl and using a potato masher, mash the biscuits into different sized chunks. Pour over them the remaining tablespoon of lite butter spread over the smashed biscuits and sprinkle in the sugar-free strawberry gelatin. Don't completely coat the biscuits with it or it will look like someone's just had their period all over and that's not appealing. Just no. 


TA DA!!
I love the contrast of the pinky red and gold that really catch your eye here. I was so worried
that I wouldn't be able to catch those iconic colours and contrast that really defines the Strawberry-Shortcake Ice-Cream Bar. It's that perfect balance of summer and childhood memories. 


Got some other interesting stuff happening here on Mental Masturbation as well, so stay tuned! And as the summer heats up, so will some of the amazing Delectables with Dan instalments. I think the next one is Strawberry-Lemon Cake. I'm gonna take full advantage of the amazing fruits that are out in the summer time. Maybe I'll even do an orange cake! If you have suggestions DM them to me on Twitter or Instagram and I'll choose a few of my favourites! 

I found the recipe on Facebook and followed the link. I kinda changed it a bit obviously, but here's the original if that's the one you want to follow!
http://lifemadesweeter.com/2015/06/strawberry-shortcake-ice-cream-bars/

GET YO FIXINGS 
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jell-O-Strawberry-Gelatin-Dessert-85g/dp/B000E1HV70
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Oreo-4400003258-OREO-COOKIES-GOLDEN-x/dp/B00B8BPXSO/ref=sr_1_5_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1498311995&sr=1-5&keywords=golden+oreos
https://groceries.asda.com/product/light-dietary-ice-cream/franks-diabetic-vanilla-ice-cream/34002681
https://groceries.asda.com/product/frozen-yogurt-sorbet/yoo-moo-strawberry-frozen-yogurt/910003066451
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/Product/Details/?id=258963806
🍓LINKS🍓
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
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