A Small Explanation
I've not been in a great space the last two months and the last few days, things have completely broken down for me. Some of you might have noticed the escalating trend of
darker subject matter in my writing or sorrowful blogs. And I'm sorry for not getting up
some of the things that I promised on time; it's hard to focus on other things at times or I completely
lack the energy to do said blog. It's not that I haven't had any ideas-I've got 20 fucking drafts on here of things I've started. FUCKING 20. Sometimes I'm beside myself with questions on how I've actually spent these last weeks. Most of its just a blur of alcoholic drinks, poor food choices and new scars appearing on my already mutilated body.
I've not really wanted to talk to my other best mate either. It's seemed like a chore and I didn't want to push her away. She's assured me that I'm not but I'm worried that she'll leave like the last time that things went downhill. I'm giving her a chance; she's older now, I've explained my illness to her and I think she's got a little bit of an understanding of what's going on in my noggin. I can't tell her everything that wouldn't be kosher for one thing and second, there are little things that Danny needs for himself.
darker subject matter in my writing or sorrowful blogs. And I'm sorry for not getting up
some of the things that I promised on time; it's hard to focus on other things at times or I completely
lack the energy to do said blog. It's not that I haven't had any ideas-I've got 20 fucking drafts on here of things I've started. FUCKING 20. Sometimes I'm beside myself with questions on how I've actually spent these last weeks. Most of its just a blur of alcoholic drinks, poor food choices and new scars appearing on my already mutilated body.
I've not really wanted to talk to my other best mate either. It's seemed like a chore and I didn't want to push her away. She's assured me that I'm not but I'm worried that she'll leave like the last time that things went downhill. I'm giving her a chance; she's older now, I've explained my illness to her and I think she's got a little bit of an understanding of what's going on in my noggin. I can't tell her everything that wouldn't be kosher for one thing and second, there are little things that Danny needs for himself.
I've got a lot of blogs that are backlogged that I will be uploading as well as new ones so if all of a sudden you see oodles of updates from me I'm not planning on dying or anything I just want to get this up and out, get back into the process of being a productive (as productive as I can be) human monster baby.
I know that I've been waffling about 'getting better' making positive changes and then I don't do it. Either it gets too hard for me and I run away or I slip up because I'm still exhausted. Honestly, the list goes on and some of them I'm not even sure of. What I am sure of is wanting to be more productive. I've got some projects that I really want to work on, both personal and professional and I'm not getting any younger. What about some of you guys? Ever had days, months or years like this? Let me know via my social media links! I'd love to hear some of your suggestions, stories and fortune cookie wisdom you have to offer.
There will still be a small lag in blogs as I am doing a partial hospitalisation programme at one of the hospitals in my area. It's therapy, peer support and medication support, so I'm hoping it will be something worth doing. I'm going to blog the experience so that I can share a bit of what this type of programme does, techniques and my own thoughts/ feelings on the programme. No other patients will be discussed, so if you're looking for a bit of a gossip collum, this is not going to be it. Apologies again for my lateness. If you guys have any questions, tweet me or DM them to me and I'll be happy to answer them best I can or direct you to someone who can help you.
There's also some big news on the horizon so stay tuned and a few small changes
will start to make sense.
Love, D.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anjathesickboy/
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darklydreamingdaniel
https://wordpress.com/posts/mentalmasturbationweb.wordpress.com
I know that I've been waffling about 'getting better' making positive changes and then I don't do it. Either it gets too hard for me and I run away or I slip up because I'm still exhausted. Honestly, the list goes on and some of them I'm not even sure of. What I am sure of is wanting to be more productive. I've got some projects that I really want to work on, both personal and professional and I'm not getting any younger. What about some of you guys? Ever had days, months or years like this? Let me know via my social media links! I'd love to hear some of your suggestions, stories and fortune cookie wisdom you have to offer.
There will still be a small lag in blogs as I am doing a partial hospitalisation programme at one of the hospitals in my area. It's therapy, peer support and medication support, so I'm hoping it will be something worth doing. I'm going to blog the experience so that I can share a bit of what this type of programme does, techniques and my own thoughts/ feelings on the programme. No other patients will be discussed, so if you're looking for a bit of a gossip collum, this is not going to be it. Apologies again for my lateness. If you guys have any questions, tweet me or DM them to me and I'll be happy to answer them best I can or direct you to someone who can help you.
There's also some big news on the horizon so stay tuned and a few small changes
will start to make sense.
Love, D.
LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anjathesickboy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/darkdreamingdan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anjathesickboy/
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darklydreamingdaniel
https://wordpress.com/posts/mentalmasturbationweb.wordpress.com
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