Mother Weep The Years I'm Missing
I should talk to my therapist about this, but I don't think it really matters. Nothing can be done about it to make me feel better. The events will weigh on my mind until they're finally absorbed into the deep cavern of memory. But do I want that? I'm conflicted. I want to be reminded not to be so eager to please, to not be seen as the always go-to guy because I'm burning out. I don't want to reach this level again. I'm exhausted in every single way. All I really want to do is sleep. That's all that I do when I come home from work. Strip work clothes off, shower to wash the day away, grab something to eat and crawl into my bed.
The fabric of the new duvet is cool and soft against my skin. I couldn't feel more relaxed. Maybe the new anti-depressants are working. Maybe it's my fatigue finally melting my brain. I remember that I am nothing more than a memory in the lives of those who were once so close to me. I wonder if they think about me like I think about them. I wonder what happened between us for this to be the reality of our relationship. I breathe deep letting memories flood me. Memories of early summer captivate me so that I don't need to take a drug to sleep. Nature's healing balm seeping into my pores, taking me away to a better place.
Colours pass by me in endless blurs. Sometimes the stimuli is too much. I need to lay on the ground and weep. Hiding behind vales of perfection and painted smiles is how I spend my day. I never let anyone else know just what is bothering me. I let them in, let them peek between my cracks. I never show them the finished painting, always existing on cute little previews. Some days I feel plastic, watching my skin glisten under lilac skies. Now I can close my eyes and let the waking world fall away from me.
NOTE: Dan's High Flying Adventures will be making a comeback in the next two weeks or so. I've been so busy at work that I've not had time to partake and enjoy myself the way I like to. Which is probably why I feel the exhaustion that I talk about in this blog. I've got a list of new things that I want to try and review so keep an eye out for more on that. I'm also working on Dan's High Flying Adventures the book! Get extra bonus content, behind the scenes stuff and more!
The fabric of the new duvet is cool and soft against my skin. I couldn't feel more relaxed. Maybe the new anti-depressants are working. Maybe it's my fatigue finally melting my brain. I remember that I am nothing more than a memory in the lives of those who were once so close to me. I wonder if they think about me like I think about them. I wonder what happened between us for this to be the reality of our relationship. I breathe deep letting memories flood me. Memories of early summer captivate me so that I don't need to take a drug to sleep. Nature's healing balm seeping into my pores, taking me away to a better place.
Colours pass by me in endless blurs. Sometimes the stimuli is too much. I need to lay on the ground and weep. Hiding behind vales of perfection and painted smiles is how I spend my day. I never let anyone else know just what is bothering me. I let them in, let them peek between my cracks. I never show them the finished painting, always existing on cute little previews. Some days I feel plastic, watching my skin glisten under lilac skies. Now I can close my eyes and let the waking world fall away from me.
NOTE: Dan's High Flying Adventures will be making a comeback in the next two weeks or so. I've been so busy at work that I've not had time to partake and enjoy myself the way I like to. Which is probably why I feel the exhaustion that I talk about in this blog. I've got a list of new things that I want to try and review so keep an eye out for more on that. I'm also working on Dan's High Flying Adventures the book! Get extra bonus content, behind the scenes stuff and more!
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