The Aliens Say Relax

As you all know, I like to partake in the Devil's lettuce. Most of the time I have a great, relaxing and or insightful high. This one time though, I had a paranoid experience that left me hiding under the duvet. I'd like to share this one with you guys. In a blog a few years ago, I posted about the nightmare abduction that I had as a child and that there is a part of me that believes it happened. I'm really on the fence about it, I don't really want to explore it. It's too much for me.

One evening I had an edible and was smoking a pre-rolled joint, just enjoying myself. I needed some time to relax. I'd been working non-stop and I just wanted a little bit of time for myself. It started off like any other high. Nice and low-key. All of a sudden I started feeling like I was being watched. I'd never really had this sensation when smoking or eating, but I knew it was possible. What I didn't know is that it was getting worse. Sitting at my desk, I felt eyes on me. Then I knew it. They were watching me. The aliens. The aliens from before. They had been watching me the entire time. I felt my heart rate increase and the fear creep into me like it did that night as a child. I'm going to be abducted just like before.
I throw myself onto the floor and curl up under the desk. If they can't find me, they can't take me. I don't want to be taken. Wait, if they're watching they know where I've thrown myself. I can't take it. It feels like they're in the room with me. They want all the knowledge I've acquired over the past 20 years. OH MY GOD. They're going to take me away! What's going to happen to me? Well, on the bright side, I won't have to pay for cremation services if they dump me out into space somewhere. What the fuck is the point of a body if the consciousness lives on? These kinds of thoughts pour into me and the aliens about ready to enter the room must be thinking 'what the fuck is wrong with this specimen?'
By this point, I'm on the bed thrashing around, my sister overhears my cries of alien invaders and comes down the hall and finds me. I scream at her that I'm going to be taken away by aliens and all she has to ask me is, "illegal or space?" As if that really makes a difference at this point! Either way, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have something shoved up my ass and not in a fun way either. She and Winkles spend the next hour trying to talk me down and reassure me that I'm safe in bed and nothing is going to happen to me.
All through the night after I pass out I have alien dreams. Them building pyramids, driving cars, working in office buildings in Manchester. It's the strangest night I've had in a while. When I wake up the next morning, the fear is gone. I'm not worried about being abducted. Looking at 4.31 glowing in my face, I'm wishing I was abducted. It's inhuman to get up this early to go to work. I hate it, but the show must go on. The anxiety that I have about getting a ride to work is off the charts. It's stupid and bullshit, but I have this compulsion about things being on time, especially work.

And of course, I have to work on 4/20 and on 4/21 so I can't get completely wrecked. I know that's what being an adult is but I work the entire week through and the day after 4/20 is an important day so there is no way I can call out on that. Goddamn it.