Gone Away

Sometimes I think about the idea of having an attatchment to parents or parental figures. I really just don't understand it. The concept sounds odd or abnormal to me in some way. It doesn't feel natural. I'm supposed to care about you because you're biologically related to me? Really? What does that even mean? Sharing some asortment of genetic material is somehow special? Like it's magic? The idea seems more idiotic now that I read that outloud. Why do so many people care about this? And more importantly why do people use it as an excuse to treat people like shit or have to endure being treated like shit by someone just because they share a few chromosomes? Fuck that shit. I don't believe in that at all. I'm more of a forming a bond based on mutual respect, understanding, communication and mutual interests. And sharing DNA is not a mutual interest. It's a genetic accident. Nothing special. I've realised that most of the time it's people who talk about family are the ones who are out for themselves and screw family when things are inconvient for them. Doesn't fit their little narrative. People like this I want to smash in the face with a cricket bat. Again and again and again. My sense of irony and frustrations isn't limited to family interactions. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about how fake acting is. What is the point of pretending to do things and be people who don't exist and will never exist? Why do they get paid massive amounts of money to do all this stupid shit? I have such a hard time watching progammes these days. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm really struggling to be able to watch them and think about them in a normal way. You know what I really find hilarious? All of these people claim that their job is so hard. Um, what extactly do you people mean your job is hard? Pretending to be someone else for someone else for hours at a time so you don't have to take responsibility for your life? I can't take these people seriously. I would love to have that kind of freedom with my job. Pretending in customer service is a must for the job and these people aren't paid for these services so why does Hollywood make it a way of life? There are other things to do to sit on the sofa and watch Grey's Anatomy and eat Cheetos. Why is there such a focus on telly and films? There are other ways to entertain yourself. But then of course, you wouldn't be distracted by ficticious relationships and you'd probably notice the government fucking you a little harder or the so-called "it people" ramroding you. Can't forget that look at me attitude that comes with acting. Sometimes I listen to these people get up and droll on about how difficult filming conditions were and they can't believe they came out of it sane. You'd think they were in a war zone they way the go on about it. Hollywood has taken narcissism, unhealthy obsessions and empty soulless things to a new level. Maybe I'm really overthinking this shit? Does anyone else have these kind of thoughts or am I starting to come unglued? It could be construed that I am jealous of actors and the freedom and finances their job allows them. Wrong. There are other ways to make money and become famous, the freedom comes later after it's been earned by dedication and sacrifice. Doctors in research for example. I couldn't bring myself to write lawyers because I think almost everything that they do is shady, infective and can be easily changed with the exchanging of a few more pieces of silver. Look, Judas did it and not much as changed since his time. Shit, they were taxing the shit out of people while they were wearing loin clothes and cotton sheets. I'm sure their mouths would be salivating at all the income government gets from taxation. Back to the actors. Now that I think about it, they contribute just as about the same percentage point as lawyers. I'm not trying to say that a lawyer's job is anything like that of an actor. There is some challenge to being a lawyer, constant learning, cunningness-actually I like that one. Kinda sounds like cunnalingus, which is even better. I'm going to leave this on a positive note. Does anyone else really enjoy when American actors attempt to do British and Australian accents and they end up sounded like they've been beaten round the face with a 2x4? It's all garbled and obviously fake. Yet they claim acting is a God given talent and takes YEARS to refine abilities. How's that for a good bullshit story?