Anxious Lad: Starting A New Job

I'm anxious about my new job. I'm on the verge of saying that I don't want it, even though it's my dream job. I'm too anxious about everything. It's not just meeting new people and being out of my element...it's also leaving my house. The leaving my house I can work with, I've had this issue before. Anxiety gets the best of me and I just want to run and hide. I had days like this at my previous job. I feel overwhelmed by all the interaction and I just want to shut down. It makes me feel weak, pathetic and a failure. I want to curl up and hide away from the world. I'm afriad that I will make a mistake and will be laughed at. It's a whole new job for me; something I've never really done before. This will my only my third job, walking out of my comfort zone. I wish I could just live off doing blogs, but I really can't. There's no possible way. I don't have that kind of luck. I'm not good looking enough and it seems that I'm also not talented enough. I try so hard in everything I do, give everything my all and that's why I'm afraid of failing. I don't want them to see me as stupid or try to make me feel that I am. I am becoming a physical manifestation of my anxiety. I know that it's normal to make mistaks, especially in a new job. Logic and my experiences tell me that if I ask enough questions, most common mistakes can be avoided. I'm worried that I will have such an epic fuck up that I'll be fired and I'll nevr be able to work in cannabis again or worse-I'll be unemployed again and I will have to deal with the stres of that. The unknown has always been a problem for me. I hate leaving my comfort zone. I can't believe I'm being so open with all this. Trying to work it out here on a public space where thousands of people read. Maybe someone will have a few helpful hints. I hate being so uncomfortable; especially when a job is on the line. Sometimes I get too caught up in the worry and I can't focus on the task at hand. The start date is a full date, a full shift. I don't know if there's really any sort of orentation like there was at the last two jobs that I attempted this summer. (I'm still working on the second job blog, I've had other things pull my attention away. Surprise, surprise.) I can't let my anxiety get the best of me this time. I can't let self-doubt and lack of self-confidence take this away from me. I think if they told me a little bit more about the job I'd have a better idea of what I'm in for. I'm not too bothered though. The process took ages to get me a start date with all the checks and paperwork. I'm thinking of doing a short blog on that, share my little bit of a journey with you guys! I can't name the company, but I can use generic terms. I think that might be fun.