28

SUNRISE
It's been so long since I felt the power a genuine smile holds.

Inhebiration spreads its grin across my face.

I'm living an existence in various shades of grey,

choking on my dreams,

clawing my clothing at the seams.

Everything feels uncomfortable and unfitting.

I miss you every day,

thinking of you as I watch every sunrise.
Frozen mornings are the worst.
I miss the way she'd move around me,
her skin against mine as the snow fell outside.

EVERYTHING IS HIM 

Everything about him screams pure mourning.
I want his tongue on me,
I want his manic salts mingling with mine,
driving our desire. 

As he throws me down, I can't help but wish I
never met him.
Despite knowing that he'll be just another lover to
put me in the ground, I let him inside me.
Like Romeo and Juliet,
but we're obsessed with the idea of suicide.
We live in the past, hiding from the idea of a future.

RELAPSE
Fearing all that's bitter.
Not knowing when it's better to stay silent and when to speak the truth.
Dazzled by city lights.
Intoxicated by daydreams of immortality.
Running across the pavement,
desperately trying to escape a life that's wrong for me.
I realise that I've sought out another chemical high as the walls come
crashing down around me.
I touch myself at the thought of violence.
I want my own haemoglobin to rain down on me.
I can't help myself.
Despite my best efforts,
I've come to the conclusion this is the way things have to be.

LAST RIGHTS
Causing mayhem,
I'm not doing this for the sake of nothing,
I'm doing this for me,
for the sake of pure pleasure.
Revelation in the bad,
laughing out loud,
watching the chaos ensue.
 I love to watch the way you hate me morphe
and decay, becoming something more, becoming
something you never thought it would be.
Come on and hate me,
we're both disgusting excuses for human beings,
but I at least I can say I'm not the town bike like you.
There isn't a man in town who hasn't hit it, and you don't
even have too much to offer.
They know you're a sure thing;
a place to park some hot jizz.
Keep on gobbling down that baby gravy, you uneducated
trailer park ho.
I'll be bouncing with my big bitches,
grabbing on their giant booties and grinding on their cellulite covered love handles.
Stay outta my lane bitch,
I'm not mad over petty shit,
Cash money, cunt
that's what I want.
But I won't say no to the idea of humiliating you until you do
shots of draino.
I want her to feel my violence,
my hands wrapped around my throat.
I want her to taste the hate that pools within.
I want her to know the feeling of suffocation.
I want her to feel the sensation of death crashing around her.
I want her to see me on top of her and not in an intimate way.
I want all that she's taken from me.
I'm not a bitter ex or a rabid friend,
I'm someone who's just wanting back what he's owed.
It's almost comical how she's taken it that I'm
accusing her when she's the one who's defrauded me.
Trust is overrated
and soon she's gonna taste the v.
This is an act of separation,
town-bike bitches like her never learn.
This is an act of degradation,

Mix-Match
We go back and forth.
Mix and match.
Constantly playing a chess match.
Battling both physically and mentally.
Move two squares forward and then two squares back.
He's the Queen to my King.
I should know better but a part of me doesn't care.
Hiding all we feel behind song lyrics and rap beats.
Bitter battles that leave us both exhausted in the end are
the height of our thrills.
Dancing with each other's demons, expressing all the things
that we hate about ourselves at the other person.
Taking it all the worst qualities of one another isn't what
love should be all about.