SPOOKTACULAR SNACKIES:Danny Makes Mini Cake Pops


That's right guys, ghouls and everything in between, it's that time of year again.
Danny's back at it with his spooky treats that will lift your spirits and hopefully the skirt of
the woman dressed as the slutty ghost next to you.  Today we're making a treat that's not only highly phallic but delicious as well. It's short and sweet. (No, that's not a comment on my own situation.) Cake pops generally are messy, annoying and can be difficult to make, but this is a new take on it. We're going to be using marshmallows to make mini cakes, decorate them like spooky cakes. 

The original recipe calls for white chocolate candy melts, but I'm going to skip that for some of them. I don't like white chocolate and I will not be eating those ones. You will need a bag of marshmallows (normal size, not minis. I was gonna say midget, but I figured I'll already have pissed off the feminists with the ghost comment earlier.) one bag of white chocolate candy melt wafers, regular white chocolate doesn't always melt as good you know, chocolate, Halloween themed or coloured sprinkles; get more than one type, it will be eye-catching with a few different sizes and styles around. For equipment you will need a small sharp knife, probably the one that you keep tucked into your sock when you go downtown at night alone will do-just make sure that you wash it before use. Nobody wants athletes foot in their mouth. You'll also need a little one of those candy making bottles with the tiny little nipples on the end. Fill the candy making bottle with the icing. Slice the marshmallow down the centre carefully, try to have the marshmallow keep their shape, a misshapen one isn't gonna look pretty, though it is Halloween so I guess a funky shaped one won't really make that big a difference.



Once you have beheaded the marshmallow, you're going to play Vlad the Impaler and shove a stick right up its ass. Do that until you've got a dozen or so of them done. Make sure that the sticks don't go through the marshmallows, a little bit of the way. Melt the chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl based on the bag instructions. Stir the chocolate to make sure that all of the wafers have melted down into a smooth, thick pool of chocolate. My microwave decided to be a dick as I was shooting this and making them, so I had to do the candy melts the old-fashioned way. Its simple, a little slower, but sometimes actually works better. It's a double boiler system. You take one saucepan and fill it with water and put another saucepan on top, make sure that it sits nicely in the bottom pan, you don't want any chocolate accidents. Hot chocolate burns like the sting of an angry man-child.



Allow the water the reaches full boil before adding the chocolate wafers to the upper pot. Make sure that it's a non-stick one. It always works better. Keep stirring when melting the chocolate this way, you don't want it its stick and burn to the bottom of the pot. Once the chocolate has melted into a sort of thick sauce, it's ready for dipping.

I one or two of the marshmallows like that, you know, the slice in half dip, then stick the other half of the marshmallow into it, but like I really didn't like the look or the feel so I decided to just dip their heads in the chocolate. It's a lovely aesthetic. Do not allow the chocolate to cool on top of the marshmallow! Once its cool it will have hardened up like a teenage boy during a sex-ed class. Not good. Do one or two of them at a time to ensure perfect chocolate...lubage. Can I say that? Is that really a word? Anyway, you all know what I mean.



Do a little dip, make a little love, eat some treats tonight, some treats tonight.

Oh, shit. Where was I? 
Once you have dipped the head of the marshmallow into the melted chocolate, dip it, or rather tap it gently into a bowl of sprinkles. Make sure that the sprinkles completely coat the top of the marshmallow. Set to the side and repeat until you have used up all your chocolate or all your marshmallows, whatever comes first for you. Allow them to dry/ let the chocolate harden before serving.



God, it was so satisfying to dip these into the sprinkles. It makes this little poppy sound when you use the little sprinkle balls. It's really so lovely. It cathartic almost. Delicious for all ages! I've got a winter one that I want to do for the holidays that includes mint...wait and see for that one everybody until then, enjoy the spooky season! 

I got the idea for these from a craft site I was checking prices for candy melts on. I don't remember what I wanted them for, I might have been drunk or something. Either way, they were for birthdays or weddings or something, so I decided to make them spooky.

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