Tattoo Talk Thursday: Ice-Cream Boi Take Two (Healing Update!)
6 months ago I was in Stockholm, Sweden getting tattooed. Goddamn, it doesn't really feel like that long ago. Where the fuck has this year gone, seriously? Is it just me or is it moving fast? January dragged ass but the rest of the time has just slipped away like water through my hands. Anyway, I was in Stockholm doing some shooting for a book and doing little meetups, and really just taking some time for me to try and battle my increasing issues with my mental health. I'm a mega Smashing Pumpkins fan; I love all their early work. Truthfully, I'm a bit hit or miss with their modern stuff, I dunno, it just doesn't have the same flair that they used to have. I'm glad they've evolved, but it's just not all for me.
I love to get tattoos when I travel; it's not just the memory or being able to say I've been tattooed in this city or tattooed in this country. When I travel or go somewhere there's always an underlying reason. I'm not just doing book tours, meeting people, I'm also running. Running from myself, from problems I can't face. I'm fighting my unhappiness and battles in small ways that I can without having to bring forth more pain. It's worked for some situations, not others. I was going to be in Stockholm, I needed to get away from everything in my head. I knew I needed this tattoo. It was less about the band, but about the lyrics and why Corgan wrote them. The suicidal feelings, the suffocation of depression and the unbelievable freedom the idea that death offers you. If you've never been in this position, felt like this, then you can't really wrap your head around it. Sometimes when I'm in the highs of mood, it makes it hard to fathom. It doesn't seem possible to ever think that was an option, but when my mood starts to dive, it becomes clearer. Each time that I've seriously hurt myself or attempted suicide, the moments before it I'm the clearest I'll ever be. It's a moment where I'm calm, I'm rational. People argue that when you're suicidal, you're not of sound mind, but for me I am. I feel amazing, that I can do anything. That I have that fall back plan, the final treatment, a solution to problems that seem unmanageable. In some ways, bipolar depression has robbed me of a life, relationships, employment, but in so many other ways it's been rewarding; I've done amazing things, have had wonderful experiences and see the world in a unique way. Is it worth the price that I pay? I honestly can't say that. I don't think I'll ever know.
((Left: One of the many draft drawings of the ice-cream truck tattoo. I played around with tonnes of different fonts and placement for the lettering.))
Why the ice-cream truck with the song text? It's the iconic piece of the music video for the song. I wanted to incorporate that into the piece because of the humour in it and the irony of the words with the undertone of the song. A perfect balance of opposite poles. It was perfect.
I was anxious to get the tattoo; I was really looking forward to having it done. I was dying to add Stockholm to the list of cities I've been tattooed in. I laid on the body table and had him ink away. It took a few hours, maybe a little longer than some artists but it was well worth it.
Healing the piece was more or less the same. It was so itchy! I had a minor reaction to the blue ink; it was itchier than normal and was a bit raised. It didn't damage that tattoo, my slight itching it may have, but I love it just the same. The little patch where some of the ink fell out isn't a problem, it gives the piece more character. I wish I could see it all the time, but I can't. It's one of my favourite tattoos. Healing it I just applied Nivea cream to it and washed it with Tattoo Goo soap. When I get tattooed, I like to try out different processes for healing; some I dry heal some I don't. I test different products, use a combo of things. It's always changing and evolving. When I first started getting tattooed I was paranoid about it, but now it's just second nature to me.
Now that's some character. It fits my leg perfectly, allows for me to add on or around the tattoo. I love the way the colours have darkened and compliment each other. It's really settled into my skin like no other tattoo, I love how the colours are so much richer. I enjoy watching how tattoos change over the healing period; from fresh to 6 months to a year to 5 years. Not all of the changes I enjoy, but I like watching them occur. Sometimes you don't notice until you take a second look and you're amazed at what you see.
I love to get tattoos when I travel; it's not just the memory or being able to say I've been tattooed in this city or tattooed in this country. When I travel or go somewhere there's always an underlying reason. I'm not just doing book tours, meeting people, I'm also running. Running from myself, from problems I can't face. I'm fighting my unhappiness and battles in small ways that I can without having to bring forth more pain. It's worked for some situations, not others. I was going to be in Stockholm, I needed to get away from everything in my head. I knew I needed this tattoo. It was less about the band, but about the lyrics and why Corgan wrote them. The suicidal feelings, the suffocation of depression and the unbelievable freedom the idea that death offers you. If you've never been in this position, felt like this, then you can't really wrap your head around it. Sometimes when I'm in the highs of mood, it makes it hard to fathom. It doesn't seem possible to ever think that was an option, but when my mood starts to dive, it becomes clearer. Each time that I've seriously hurt myself or attempted suicide, the moments before it I'm the clearest I'll ever be. It's a moment where I'm calm, I'm rational. People argue that when you're suicidal, you're not of sound mind, but for me I am. I feel amazing, that I can do anything. That I have that fall back plan, the final treatment, a solution to problems that seem unmanageable. In some ways, bipolar depression has robbed me of a life, relationships, employment, but in so many other ways it's been rewarding; I've done amazing things, have had wonderful experiences and see the world in a unique way. Is it worth the price that I pay? I honestly can't say that. I don't think I'll ever know.
((Left: One of the many draft drawings of the ice-cream truck tattoo. I played around with tonnes of different fonts and placement for the lettering.))Why the ice-cream truck with the song text? It's the iconic piece of the music video for the song. I wanted to incorporate that into the piece because of the humour in it and the irony of the words with the undertone of the song. A perfect balance of opposite poles. It was perfect.
I was anxious to get the tattoo; I was really looking forward to having it done. I was dying to add Stockholm to the list of cities I've been tattooed in. I laid on the body table and had him ink away. It took a few hours, maybe a little longer than some artists but it was well worth it.
Healing the piece was more or less the same. It was so itchy! I had a minor reaction to the blue ink; it was itchier than normal and was a bit raised. It didn't damage that tattoo, my slight itching it may have, but I love it just the same. The little patch where some of the ink fell out isn't a problem, it gives the piece more character. I wish I could see it all the time, but I can't. It's one of my favourite tattoos. Healing it I just applied Nivea cream to it and washed it with Tattoo Goo soap. When I get tattooed, I like to try out different processes for healing; some I dry heal some I don't. I test different products, use a combo of things. It's always changing and evolving. When I first started getting tattooed I was paranoid about it, but now it's just second nature to me.
Now that's some character. It fits my leg perfectly, allows for me to add on or around the tattoo. I love the way the colours have darkened and compliment each other. It's really settled into my skin like no other tattoo, I love how the colours are so much richer. I enjoy watching how tattoos change over the healing period; from fresh to 6 months to a year to 5 years. Not all of the changes I enjoy, but I like watching them occur. Sometimes you don't notice until you take a second look and you're amazed at what you see.
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