TATTOO TALK THURSDAY: TATTOOING OVER SELF-HARM SCARS

Is this a third consecutive Tatto Talk Thursday that I've done? Holy shit. I might be on a roll or something...Yes, I'm working on the last few travel blogs from Bergen, some new shit for Delectables with Dan in addition to tonnes of other literature previews. It's slower goings than usual, I've just had a family death and am looking for another full-time job to make ends meet. If any of you could support my photography that would be great. All the links will be posted below where you can make a donation, buy a print or a merch item.

It's no secret that I'm a self-harmer. I've discussed it on the blog over the past three years or so, but what I realised the other night is that I never really discussed tattooing over scars.  Last month, I did get some of my self-harm scars tattooed and the idea came up, but I didn't want to make that the focus of the blog, so here we are. I'm going to talk about how it felt for me to have the scars tattoed over both physically and emotionally, and what to expect from your artist and the process.

It's important to remember that not all designs will work on scars and not all scars can be covered. I think that was the most worrying thing for me to hear when I started covering up my scars. I didn't want to compromise on what I wanted, be stuck with something sub-par or something I wouldn't really enjoy and would probably regret more than the scars themselves. Sometimes you can explain away the scars, but you can't a shitty tattoo that you hate or a tattoo that doesn't really suit you. I was so scared that when I showed my arms, legs, chest, stomach and hips to the various artists I've worked with over the years. Having to expose my scars and myself was such a painful challenge to me. Sometimes it worked out for the best and the artists were really professional, other times I saw them look at the scars or my body like they wanted to say something, but they didn't. It can be really difficult for anyone in this situation, probably more so, if you have body issues, self-esteem issues or anxiety like me. Getting myself out there like this has helped me. It's been slow progress, but it's important progress to make. It's hard to try and not measure myself by other people, which is something I've always done my entire life. I've measured my self-worth by other people and that's really destroyed me inside. Tattooing over some of the scars has been a crucial thing for me to try and regain control over myself and build up some self-confidence.

When I was 19, I was looking to start covering some of the scars on my forearms. I'd seen the way people had reacted to them, I'd heard the whispers and I just didn't want to have to deal with that anymore. I lost out on relationships and jobs because of people seeing the scars. I wanted to put that part of my life in a box and put it in the closet. Currently, I'm 26 and a half just about and I still haven't been able to fully put that part of my life away. I guess I'm scared to. I think in this instance the fear of letting go of the self-harming is worse than the burdens I have to deal with being a self-harmer. Sometimes the emotional stress is about the same. I was embarrassed to show Chad my arm. He asked me how old the scar was and how I'd gotten it. Naturally, I lied and said that I got it in an accident. I'm not wholly sure he believed me but he insured me he could cover it with the lettering that I wanted.
Sometimes lettering doesn't work well with covering scars; actually most of the time. Thankfully the lettering that I chose was thick and bold and could almost seamlessly hide the scar that I was looking to hide, which is, after all the point of covering it with a tattoo. When covering a scar or series of scars with a tattoo or tattoos, the goal is less about covering it, but more about drawing the eye away from it; Its aim is to make you look at the ink, not the flesh underneath. It works similar to the way a cover-up tattoo is done.
I drew out the lettering that I wanted and Chad stencilled it along my arm. It wouldn't have hid the scar if we only went with an outline of the lettering, so I told him to go for it. With a single needle and a steady hand, he outlined all the letters and filigree, then shaded in the letters. He did inform me there was a risk of a blowout with the thickness of the scar. It was pinker when I got the tattoo done in 2011 (maybe early 2012) and after I got the tattoo the area was pretty pink which was normal for me. It still is a deep and raised scar that you can easily feel over the tattoo. Tattoos don't really help with raised skin.



((The scar is right through the 'n' on the second line of the text. It touches on a bit of 
the filigree below the 'o' on the upper level of the tattoo and down through the top of the
'z' on the bottom level of the tattoo. German-English translation: As soon as we let go of our fears, we'll be free to live our lives.))

A few months later I went back and wanted the majority of scars that coat my left arm covered up. This one was more of a challenge. I wanted lettering still, to match the other arm. I took it in steps. I started with the centre of the arm, then added the above and below parts later on. It's important to wait until your scars are fully healed before attempting to tattoo over them.  Most artists that I've spoken to will ask you to wait a minimum of 6 months before attempting to tattoo. But it depends on the depth, severity and amount of scars you're looking to cover. For this, it's best to consult your artist and have them assess the scar. Go to a good artist for fuck's sake, and not some guy who says "Hell yeah, I can do this" because chances are you'll end up with a fucked up mess.
Not throwing shade, I love Chad's work, but I feel with this scar cover-up he really did me dirty.  The lettering is too small for the arm and would only blur over time, especially over scar tissue as the skin changes over the years. I felt like he was just in a rush to tattoo me this time and take my cash, rather than give me the proper cover-up that I deserved. Maybe lettering wouldn't have worked there. After years of looking at it, I realise that lettering really wasn't that great a choice, but I was young and inexperienced.
When I got the tattoo done, the scars were darker in colour when I got them done. The scars I tattooed over were years old at the time. They've faded because I've been using a regimen of vitamin e and cocoa butter on them. They're faded to white, from the vibrant pink they used to be and for a good portion of the time are not noticeable, but I still feel self-conscious about them...not to mention the fresh scars/cuts that decorate the area above it.
You can use the same healing routine that I used on pre-tattooed scars to help lessen their appearance. Creams that are advertised for stretch marks also can work great on scars; they're often cheaper than products that advertise strictly for scars. Both are kind of embarrassing to buy, cream for scars or stretch marks, but you can also order them over the internet or just use the cocoa butter-vitamin e combo. You can also try shea butter. I sometimes swap out the cocoa butter for shea butter.



((German to English Translation: Line 1: Come and help me fly.
Line 2-3: Hey Satan/Devil can you take my confession and talk it over with God again?
Line 3: We must not lose our faith. (In ourselves, not God per se) )) 


Covering up the lower scars on my left forearm with the third line of text was a little harder as the scars were a bit newer when I did it. I knew I was taking a risk in having the scars be a bit newer than 6 months, but I just wanted them gone. I rushed and I kind of regret it. I shouldn't have gone with more lettering, but it's too late now. I don't want to try and cover them with new art on top of the scars is something I really don't want to do. It's an important message though, not to lose my belief in myself, that little amount that I have. I can't count on God; not to be a dick, but every time I feel like I really needed God, he wasn't there for me. Argue all you want but I've come to the conclusion that either God isn't real or that he really doesn't give a fuck. 


Some people say that tattooing over scars are more painful than tattooing non-scarred skin. That can be true for a lot of people, but personally, I didn't see much of a difference. Scarred or damaged skin tends to be more receptive to pain due to nerve damage.  Don't be afraid to tell your artist you need a break; they won't think anything less of you. Most artists have heard this at least a dozen times if not more in their careers. You can also ask about numbing creams and or sprays; some artists won't use them because of how they feel they may affect the tattooing process or the healing of a tattoo.

All I worried about were blowouts...which the artist who did the third line of text, didn't mention at all. I guess he felt like I knew what to do already. I dunno. When I left the shop, I felt dirty and like I'd annoyed him with the script request. Like I should have known better than to put text there or should have done something better. I don't know. I went to do something to boost my confidence but only came back feeling less. I like the tattoo and he's retouched the areas that have been close to my newer scars or cuts without asking about it while tattooing me in other places, so it's not all that bad.
I also worried that the tattoo wouldn't have the appearance that a finished tattoo should have. I worried that it would look cheap, unfinished or just shitty in general. That's a real concern for people who are covering scars with tattoos. Make sure that your artist goes over all their healing procedures when it comes to healing a tattoo done over damaged or scar tissue, especially if it's your first time doing it. 


I've been lucky to not have any real issues with the tattoos on my arms that have been tattooed over. Blowouts are common, tattoos not looking balanced or fully completed or even pieces of the tattoo falling out are common. Some people also experience further raising of the scars or damage to the skin directly surrounding the scar tissue that's been tattooed over.  I might do another session on the leg, stomach and hip tattoos that I've had covered over. I'm looking to interview with artists who have a lot of experience tattooing over scars. If you or an artist you know is interested in this please have them let me know! Reach out as much as possible and share your stories! I'd love to hear them as well. 

Sorry if I've missed anything, I've just got so much going on in my head that it's almost impossible for me to sit down and focus. I've got professional shit that's really needing sorting, I'm doing job applications and dealing with so many personal issues that I feel like I'm about to burst. All that and trying to get my photography work off the ground, write a book (the others been put on hold) and work on this blog. I used to really enjoy doing this blog, it made me feel like I had a real sense of purpose, but lately, I don't know. I'm trying to use it to distract me from the depression that's starting to cloud me again but I don't know if it will work, so If you start to see fewer blogs or blogs of a lesser quality, that's why. I'm sorry.

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