Depressive Woes

I have so many thoughts.

So many thoughts and its been cold here.

All I've wanted to do is crawl inside my duvet and stay.

Stay forever, warm and safe. 

I can remember a time when I felt this cold. 

Cold from the soul to the bone to the flesh. 

Every molecule of my being felt as if it were encased in ice.

It was more than thick fleece socks, a hot beaker of tea or any heating pad

could ever warm. 

I felt the shadows under my eyes darken as they have now. 

The agony is settling in my joints once again as the days grow shorter.

I can't wait to close my eyes and fade away. 

Go to a place where I am safe from the world around me. 

I feel that familiar and isolating sadness, swirling around me.

I want him to love me, to need me and continue to drive me in ways that

only he can. 

I've never felt another in this way...

never known someone to embrace their existence as he does.

I've been working on the new book, Little By Little. I'm happy to say that most of the final work is done. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue writing or not. It's amazing to be able to express myself in print, but it's also emotionally draining. Especially when people promise they will purchase a book and then never do. I've tried to hard to make this work, but I'm not sure how much longer I can go on with this. I want to finish the Wil and Friends book and possibly my other novel that I'm working on. I have other things that I've started but I'll never know what will become of them. Maybe I'll finish them, maybe I won't. The feeling has to be right, I think. Perhaps I'll just do a collection of short stories.

I've got new blogs that I will be updating you with; Previews of Little By Little, Tattoo Talk Thursdays, Behind the Scenes of an Authors Work and so much more as the year comes to a close. I know its only the end of October, but I'm so ready for this year to be over. I cannot wait to start new and fresh. Try new things, see new places and faces and take in new places. 

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. 

-Oscar Wilde